Mastodawn

Dungeon Crawler Ben

Being human is just constant admin. Register this, fill out that, contact the business or person. I long to just exist outside of all of the noise. Put my shoes on and just walk the fields and Downs. Survey the ocean and stand in the salty breeze. Lay in a meadow and splash in a stream. Howl in the moonlight and weep against a tree. Make friends with a badger. Form an alliance with the birds. Go to war against the snakes. Create a new religion with the dirt folk. Lose my mind and smile at the sun as I fly away to a lost continent. Transubstantiate into a being of pure energy and beam myself throughout the cosmos. Drift past the observable universe and discover a new place where matter and physics no longer exist. Join with the universe and become god. Instead I have to do my stupid little emails.

Urban Camera Jan 21

@TheBreadmonkey

I can almost imagine the first footed fish out of the sea, surveying its new territory, seeing all the beauty and freedom, and deciding to fence it in.

Dungeon Crawler Ben Jan 21

@uc 😞

Abram Kedge🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🇨🇦Jan 21

@uc @TheBreadmonkey I was absolutely certain you were going to finish that with "and deciding it needs padded insoles'

Urban Camera Jan 21

@AbramKedge @TheBreadmonkey

Funny you should mention them. I just bought a pair with such insoles. Damned uncomfortable. Not the insoles, but the leather pushing and rubbing against my heels.

Abram Kedge🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🇨🇦Jan 21

@uc @TheBreadmonkey coincidentally, I've started getting severe cramp in my right calf after about two and a half miles... think I need some new shoes! Gonna see if there's anything in the Trespass closing down / relocating sale.

Coming down from the trees was a big mistake.

@uc @TheBreadmonkey Those imperialist fish stole the land from insects that were living here for millions of years. Decolonize land! Fish go back to the water!

Urban Camera Jan 21

@alexey88008 @TheBreadmonkey

If only they'd landed in a boat a mere 500 years ago....

Peter Brown Jan 21

@TheBreadmonkey we need #ubi

@TheBreadmonkey if you formatted this differently it'd be a poem... well, it's already a poem, but it would be more readily readable as one

Vladka Marie Jan 21

@sarble @TheBreadmonkey
I was going to say the same thing. It already reads like a poem — with slightly different formatting it would just be missing the hashtag.

Dungeon Crawler Ben Jan 21

I *laugh* in the face of structure

BrambleBearSnoring Jan 21

@sarble @TheBreadmonkey

I was thinking that too!!!!

A prose poem as it is.

Imagine too an illustrated story, picture book for frazzled adults.

Travis F W Jan 22

@BrambleBearSnoring @sarble @TheBreadmonkey @Remittancegirl y'know, artists might actually be the people who make that choice, finances be damned.

James 🦉 #FBPE 🇪🇺Jan 21

@TheBreadmonkey Weirdly I just finished the first draft of a short story that features not one but more of these elements, including befriending a salty badger 🦡 Once edited and if I find a home for it, I'll send it on...

Dungeon Crawler Ben Jan 21

We are very much connected. And might start finishing each others.....

James 🦉 #FBPE 🇪🇺Jan 21

@TheBreadmonkey biscuits

Chris Morgan Jan 21

@TheBreadmonkey In all seriousness you can capture the feeling of at least half of this by simply re-reading The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Graham (http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/27805)
Mr Badger is scary at first but very kind. Say hello for me.

Toot toot!

The Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame

Free kindle book and epub digitized and proofread by volunteers.

Project Gutenberg

Fishercat Jan 21

@chris @TheBreadmonkey Oh! I'd forgotten "The Wind in The Willows." I was thinking Ben wanted to make friends with an actual badger, which.. seems like a plan for self-harm.

Dungeon Crawler Ben Jan 21

@Fishercat @chris

Oh no I definitely do

Fishercat Jan 21

@TheBreadmonkey @chris Eep.

Dungeon Crawler Ben Jan 21

@Fishercat @chris

I will raise a badger army the likes of which this world has never seen

Fishercat Jan 21

@TheBreadmonkey @chris That's pretty terrifying.. badgers are badasses.

Fishercat Jan 21

@chris @TheBreadmonkey Oh! I'd forgotten "The Wind in The Willows." I was thinking Ben wanted to make friends with an actual badger, which.. seems like a plan for self-harm.

@TheBreadmonkey This might be your best work. Damn. You are a treasure, Ben. You help ground us when our worries threaten to launch us into the sun. I was already in the trebuchet seat.

Dungeon Crawler Ben Jan 21

😊❤️

cognitively accessible math Jan 21

@TheBreadmonkey yes, "off the grid" .... in all dimensions ;)

Rupert Curwen Jan 21

@TheBreadmonkey This is what AI _should_ be doing. Not taking away our jobs.

Zaheer Soebhan Jan 21

@TheBreadmonkey Probably good to take break and do all this, man. You reminded me I'm supposed to do this as well now.

elhadjimurad Jan 21

@TheBreadmonkey
Hi.

I'm a snakesperson for the spokes... I mean a spokesperson for the snakes.

They said, "we're just doing what we do, man, what's with the downer?"

arceuthobium Jan 21

@ElHadjiMurad @TheBreadmonkey that’s exactly what a snakesperson would say.

@TheBreadmonkey I take it you enjoyed Avatar.

Dungeon Crawler Ben Jan 21

Haven't seen it! Have I just imagined the entire plot of Avatar?!!? Someone needs to put me in touch with James Cameron and Hollywood in general.

I

AM

AVAILABLE!

I'll work for half of what other writers get. What must that be - two million pounds a script? I'm out here just doing this for free! It's literally just falling out of me. I will write avatar 4. Avatar 4: Electric Boogaloo.

@TheBreadmonkey snort.

David Cohen Jan 21

@TheBreadmonkey Joke would be on you. The dirt folk have a signup form and a long list of rules they want to gate keep religious compliance. You’d be back to square one, as well as being covered in soil.

Farah 🖖🏼🧶🏳️‍🌈Jan 21

@TheBreadmonkey Get outta my head, bruh!

GreenDotGuy Jan 21

@TheBreadmonkey It's maddening. I'm caretaking for parents and a disabled sister, so I'm handling a lot of that for three households (and a business). If I had the money, I would hire a part time personal assistant to do all the driving and paperwork.

Also, it's basically impossible to play Phone Tag with contractors and insurers when you have a job that has a lot of meetings. I literally can't answer the phone for 70% of business hours, creating a self-sustaining game of endless missed calls.

Dungeon Crawler Ben Jan 21

I'm sorry. That sounds really tough. Where do you live (general country / area, not your address)?

GreenDotGuy Jan 21

@TheBreadmonkey New England. The silver lining is that everyone and everything involved, including my house, is literally along a two mile stretch of a neighborhood. So at least it's all short trips instead of sitting in traffic.

Dungeon Crawler Ben Jan 21

Ah I was going to ask if you've looked at online support groups or any eligible additional help that might be available. In the UK there are often initiatives, benefits or volunteers that you can look into but we're quite built up and I think New England is quite spaced out? I'm sure you have already thought of that, but occasionally someone will suggest something to me I hadn't considered and it turns out to be useful. Power to you anyway. I hope all of the good things for you and yours. 😊❤️

GreenDotGuy Jan 21

@TheBreadmonkey Oh, thanks. I go to regular therapy type stuff, and I managed to operationalize and put boundaries on everything to preserve my sanity. I spent a year sort of panicking and falling apart over it, but it all seems very doable now. I just have to keep my own ducks in a row, mealprep on Sunday, eat and exercise where I can squeeze it in, and put my foot down when I need a break.

GayDeceiver Jan 21

@TheBreadmonkey This is exactly why Earth's Uplift Program keeps stalling. The way things are going, whales, dolphins, parrots, and octopuses will be uplifted before we do.

Dave Muth Jan 21

@TheBreadmonkey @the_etrain That's the magic of writing. I've done those things with you, too.

Now, don't forget to check your spam folder for important messages. Then, wash the dishes, fer Chrissakes!

Dave Muth Jan 21

@TheBreadmonkey @the_etrain And don't just daydream about 'em, for once!

🌸 Vårgubben Jan 21

@TheBreadmonkey I vibe with this but for one thing.

Act in aggression against the fanged noodles, who intend you no harm, and you will see me on their front when the battle comes.

Robert Smith Jan 21

@TheBreadmonkey

I heartily with all that.

EXCEPT for "Go to war against the snakes."

Come on dude, snake are very cool, make friends with them too!!!!!!

( also I hope that was human written...)

Dungeon Crawler Ben Jan 21

That is a great question ROBERT SMITH. Let me help you with that. You've made a fantastic start to this LETTER TO CLIENT but let's just make a few minor adjustments. But first, would you like to see a picture of the Pope on a skateboard?

Robert Smith Jan 21

@TheBreadmonkey

Yes!!! I luv me sum Pope on a skateboard!!!!!!!

eLearningTechie Jan 21

@TheBreadmonkey I have had too many days like that recently. It's all a bit much, isn't it?

Dungeon Crawler Ben Jan 21

@eLearningTechie

It is rather. Things are not ideal. Power to you. I get through it by posting incessant nonsense on here. Perhaps you could do the same. And maybe between us we'll fix the world. Beaming you all the very best, friend. 👊

eLearningTechie Jan 21

@TheBreadmonkey Back at ya! Mastodon is my favourite silly place on the web these days. Thanks for being part of it. 🫶

Owl Eyes Jan 21

@TheBreadmonkey the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. I used to think like you, but now my view is changed. It's really about having enough self-autonomy, and self-sufficiency, such that one is not under the thumb of any narcissists. This is about as close to true freedom as most people can hope to get, despite all the tedious problems which you rightly lament.

Dungeon Crawler Ben Jan 21

I appreciate this perspective, but it makes some assumptions about my life and responsibilities. I must continue to toil as I am for the moment as have people who rely on me. However I'm working on change. But in the meanwhile I'll do my silly flights of fancy because it relieves the stress a bit. 😊

@TheBreadmonkey There’s only one plane of existence and it’s emails.

bigmac (molly)Jan 21

@TheBreadmonkey you should read Walt Whitman’s Leaves of Grass. poetry helps connect me with the world.

Dungeon Crawler Ben Jan 21

Thanks! 😊 Bookmarked.

Losclintos Jan 21

@TheBreadmonkey I get this fix with what what I call "day hangs." I head out into good sized park for the afternoon, and pick the most remote spot I can find. I string up a hammock, and just hang out for 3-4 hours. I nap, read, might have a beer, play with sticks, listen to birds, and just enjoy the forest and solitude for awhile. It's a great mini recharge. BTW - today is my first day on Mastodon. Already love it, and don't want to go back to the bickering on Reddit :)

Dungeon Crawler Ben Jan 21

Welcome! That sounds great. Fedi is basically a day hang but all of the time. 😊🙌

Advanced Persistent Teapot Jan 21

@TheBreadmonkey @losclintos also welcome! Please note that instead of bickering, we solve our differences by going to a public venue and slapping each other in the face with a large trout. It's very civilised, mainly because we are very careful to wait our turn to trout slap. Please acquire your regulation trout without delay.

David Cohen Jan 21

@http_error_418 @TheBreadmonkey @losclintos This not my experience of the Fediverse when it comes to Linux arguments; and thats a discourse that definitely needs some trout to the kisser.