Urban HermitDec 19

#ActualyAutistic

You know, I am going through some stressful things right now, have opted into living with a friend and his family for reasons, and frequently have to retreat from people. But their kids don't trigger me. Neither do their animals.

What is your theory why? I would really like to hear what other people think, or if this is not a universal experience? Is there an age where it wears off?

Show thread🔥Cassandra🔥Dec 20
@Urban_Hermit I would guess you don't feel the same pressure around them. They may be more accepting than adults tend to be.
Show threadKevin DavyDec 20
@Cassandra @Urban_Hermit
I think it's because they have no hidden expectations. What you see is what you get.
Show threadUrban Hermit

@pathfinder @Cassandra agreed. Big contrast. It is funny though, that means that if we were all as transparent as kids we might all get along easier.

Maybe I should watch the movie The Invention of Lying. I have been putting it off, but maybe there will be an analogy in there that is relevant.

I wonder when kids go 'bad'? Is it biological, or cultural?

Dec 20 at 9:59amWeb
Show threadKevin DavyDec 20
@Urban_Hermit @Cassandra
At a guess I would say cultural. The moment they realise that appearance is more important in their world than reality.
Show thread🔥Cassandra🔥Dec 20
@pathfinder @Urban_Hermit I would also say cultural. Otherwise the assumption is that people are inherently bad?
Show threadLynn McAlister UE  Dec 20
@Cassandra @pathfinder @Urban_Hermit It's also true that you do find people who maintain these what-you-see-is-what-you-get characteristics. So it's not only cultural, but also probably individual. Some people are just never convinced by the 'appearances matter most' idea - or can't find the energy to live that way.
Show threadUrban HermitDec 20

@lmgenealogy @Cassandra @pathfinder I think I could almost mask all the time, but just like lying, it doesn't feel like it is worth the energy to maintain and life even as I am now makes me tired.

And being a good masker, or liar, is a lot of mental hard work. It involves maintaining an entire separate reality in your head where things with insufficient evidence to be self supporting are called true. And then frequent talking to try to support the illusion.

No wonder NTs are paranoid.

Show threadLynn McAlister UE  Dec 20
@Urban_Hermit @Cassandra @pathfinder I just can't do it. People are always surprised by the things I say, but most of them cope pretty well once they get used to me.
Show threadUrban HermitDec 20

@pathfinder @Cassandra wow!

That is an insight right there, just casually laid down like it was nothing. That's why you are a good follow, thanks. 👍

Show threadUrban HermitDec 20

@pathfinder @Cassandra I basically model other people all the time, to tell me what is reasonable and what to expect. But other people are doing that and also counter modeling, trying to be different than what they are, for reasons that escape me. Do they think just being human and having needs is that bad?

Or maybe humans have one predator worth being paranoid about - other humans. And that adaptation in late adolescence and early adulthood makes neurotypicals mask, most of the time.

Show threadUrban HermitDec 20

@pathfinder @Cassandra and those of us who do not mask enough, who deal in honesty, openness, and ethically, who say how things really are, are seen as dangerous.

Like antelope on the plains avoiding their injured brethren, because they attract lions, neurotypicals avoid the autistic human, who may soon attract predatory attention.

Wow!

Show threadGoiterzan/Amygdalai LamaDec 20
@Urban_Hermit @pathfinder @Cassandra
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ding ding ding 💜
Show threadGoiterzan/Amygdalai LamaDec 20
@Urban_Hermit @pathfinder @Cassandra
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read me, if you really want an answer, but it’s not cheerful 💜
Show threadGoiterzan/Amygdalai LamaDec 20
@Urban_Hermit @pathfinder @Cassandra
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that’s not fair, “read me,” it’s a mess. I’m sorry. I just wanted say I think I have an answer but I didn’t want to jump in depressing and broken record again.
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it’s this seamless blend of culture and genetics, it’s curturally mandated that children should be disciplined, but also the majority type is selecting and growing an epigenetic response in their children for it.
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I’m frustrated and always trying to find a way to say that to them, they think about the expediency of the discipline, but they do not think about environment and evolution. 💜
Show threadGoiterzan/Amygdalai LamaDec 20
@Urban_Hermit @pathfinder @Cassandra
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So in a way, this distinction is that gene and that epigenetic optioning: animals and children don’t have it, as others have said here, (or it’s dormant in the majority children) so a person isn’t a full blown Allistic until after the activation of some Allistic genes through child, uh, discipline.
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There’s a softer Allism prior, I assume, but the tempered version afterwards?
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#ActuallyAutistic @autistics
Show threadGoiterzan/Amygdalai LamaDec 20
@Urban_Hermit @pathfinder @Cassandra
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Never quite framed it like that before. Let’s try in in their format:
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If a child has the “genetic vulnerability,” a lot of genes, “associated with,” Allism, they may or may not develop the full disorder, depending on whether they encounter certain environmental “triggers.”
😀
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#ActuallyAutistic @autistics
Show threadGoiterzan/Amygdalai LamaDec 20
@Urban_Hermit @pathfinder @Cassandra
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Question: when they say things in this format about us, are our generic, “triggers,” obvious to them, like theirs, of child abuse, are to me?
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I mean, to me, it’s logical, you show them violence, you get violence. While they see a hundred possible, “causes,” apparently at random and then try to show some unseen mechanism to make it causal after the fact.
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😀
#ActuallyAutistic @autistics
Show threadGoiterzan/Amygdalai LamaDec 20
@Urban_Hermit @pathfinder @Cassandra
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You know what I want? I want Ricky to make another one, mine, “The Invention of Punishment.”
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I love idea, definitely having trouble writing it, my only idea is that our man is a comic in a wonderful, completely voluntary world without punishment, and in lieu of lying, as in the real film, he comes across a slapstick, and discovers he can terrorize people IRL with it. 💜
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Anyone out there with the imagination to write THAT, or anybody knows Ricky, feel free, just mention my name and add me as a consultant 😜
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#ActuallyAutistic @autistics #screenwriting