Ms. Que BanhPlease drop your #wholesome #jokes below 👇
Sally StrangeBecause if it had four doors, it would be a chicken sedan!
If they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels!
@SallyStrange I like these wholesome bird jokes 😆
@PhoenixSerenity I hope you don't mind the pig one. I suppose kicking a pig is less than wholesome. But the franglais puns!
@SallyStrange I don't mind & know you're not into kicking actual pigs.
I'm OK with kicking the police piggies.
I'm OK with kicking the police piggies.
@PhoenixSerenity hehe of course! Oink oink motherfuckers!
A city slicker went to a county fair up by the Québec border. He saw a sign that said "COUNTING PIG."
"I gotta see this," the city slicker said to himself. So he goes over to the farmer. "Hey, your pig can count? Show me!"
Farmer (in a thick Québecois accent of course): Bon, I will show you. Pig! What is one plus eight?
Pig: neuf neuf neuf
Farmer: Pig! Tell me what is six plus three!
Pig: Neuf neuf
Farmer: Pig! What is four plus five?
Pig: neuf neuf neuf neuf
City Slicker: HOLD ON. You can't just keep asking him questions that add up to nine!
Farmer: Mais oui, OK. Pig! What is four plus four?
Pig: neuf ne--
Farmer: [kicks pig]
Pig: HUIIIT HUIIIIIIT HUIIIIIIIT
Sean Kleefeld
Sean PatrickOne has claws at the end of its paws; the other's a pause at the end of a clause.
Sabrina Jakob@PhoenixSerenity What is tiny, green and triangular?
@PhoenixSerenity Two carrots flying the sky. Says one to the other: Oh no, there comes a heli chop chop chop
quadrivial, tall and graying@PhoenixSerenity Man goes into monastery. Says he wants to enter. Head monk says "Ok, but you can only talk once every 15 years." Man thinks about it. Says "I'm in" and becomes a monk.
15 years go by. Head monk comes to man and says, "It's been 15 years. Do you have anything to say?" Man thinks a bit, and says "The soup is too salty." Head monk nods and leaves.
15 more years go by. Head monk comes to man and says, "It's been 15 years. Do you have anything to say?" Man thinks a bit, and says "The mattresses are too hard." Head monk nods and leaves.
15 more years go by. Head monk comes to man and says, "It's been 15 years. Do you have anything to say?" Man says "I've had enough. I'm going to leave." Head monk nods and says, "Makes sense. You've done nothing but complain since you got here."