Vissphp has done so well being run on firewalls.
we should go further.
we need to put node.js on firewalls next
then put fifteen GPUs into them so they can eat 5kw and run deepseek-r1 too.
what the hell
put 500tb of storage on them and put every packet on a local immutable blockchain
fuck syslog
Chilly 
🛡️ 
@chillybot every tear on the blockchain! then use the blockchain to train AI!
@chillybot use the gpus in the firewalls to train ai!
schrotthaufen@Viss Use the LLM to automatically generate, and apply suricata rules!
@schrotthaufen dont need suricata! train deepseek-r1 running on the firewall to take every packet as input, and force it to also manage all routing/ospf/bgp
@Viss It’ll drop all packets where the syn cookie isn’t 0xd09e, won’t it?
@schrotthaufen oh thats a fantastic idea
ѕ¢я1ρt 👾
@Viss @schrotthaufen Needs more security I fear. Perhaps every connection handshake needs a CAPTCHA solve. Can't be too safe these days.
@furtivedefect @Viss Phenomenal! All failed, and successful attempts to solve deep captcha should be recorded in the bollockschain on the firewall, too. For compliance reasons. Who knows what the SEC will do to you if you don’t…
@schrotthaufen @furtivedefect and while then the traffic is low and the ai isn't eating all the gpu, it can mine bitcoin!
@Viss @furtivedefect Now we’re cooking! (The planet, but who’s counting?)
@Viss Operations mastermind! The shareholders will be impressed.
@schrotthaufen @Viss Governance is important! What if we required any firewall rule modification to pass a DAO vote. 72 hours to pass. Use it or lose it!
@furtivedefect @Viss I didn’t know you can vote in the Dead or Alive games
Gord@Viss Please for the love of FUCK, don't give them ideas.
@grs think of this as telegraphing, or signaling. if places start releasing this horseshit, it'll be clear they have no idea what they're doing and it'll be obvious to anybody thats touched a computer before that this is the scenario now:
@Viss Damn that's definitely hit the nail on the head haha. Yeah, you're right. I know I wouldn't buy any of that shit. Maybe that'll finally be the thing that makes everyone else realize that Javascript was a very bad idea and just needs to hurry up and die already.
hrbrmstr 🇺🇦 🇬🇱 🇨🇦@Viss This Is The Way
@Viss
This is crime
This is crime
@chillybot there are no crimes anymore.
calling something a crime is now a crime.
@Viss
I'll turn myself in...
I'll turn myself in...