Tombe la pluie - TheespookjeSep 15, 2023

Things I discovered by embracing my "weirdness" and stopping masking as much as I used too (to the point I erased my personality), a #thread for other #audhder #audhd #audhdadult #autistic #neurodivergent #neurodivergents folks and myself mostly

PS: you might not fond yourself in any of these and that's okay!

#autism #embraceauthenticity #autismacceptance #autismsupport #adhd #adhdlife #ADHDtax #ADHDer

Show threadTombe la pluie - TheespookjeSep 15, 2023
- I plan in advance that stuff will be lost. It will have to be redone. It's not not caring. It's not failing. It's just how it is. It's just annoying because it's expensive and might cause delays
- You will have shopping spree when you're feeling bad. It's okay. Just make sure you can still eat and have a roof.
- #addictions are a side effect, not a sign of failure. Seeing a doc about it or just trying to manage is okay. See someone if you need to/can afford too.
Show threadTombe la pluie - TheespookjeSep 15, 2023
- you will be very intense and dynamic but also tired all the time. You will be judged for talking too much or not enough. It's just how it is. Be yourself and don't let #ableism bring you down. If you can afford to get a diagnosis, know your rights. Ask for the accommodations you need. Don't burn yourself out by making work your hyperfixation. You need other hyperfixation or you will be drained to the core for minimal pay until you have to take a sick leave
- If people belittle you, leave them
Show threadTombe la pluie - TheespookjeSep 15, 2023
- I used to tell myself "I can't leave people who don't like me as I am and belittle me or I'll be all alone". Being with them was worth than being alone, because I was lonely yet surrounded by people, always a feet in and a feet out, not integrated. I met my besties through my sister and online. I wouldn't be alive without them.
- Except for social obligations, shared housing and work, you shouldn't have to mask too much around people you share your intimity with.
Show threadTombe la pluie - TheespookjeSep 15, 2023
- Leaving a family that can't bear your functioning level says nothing about the love you have for them, but it says about how much you value your wellbeing. Sometimes loving people is knowing you can't be under the same roof together for too long, and it's okay
- Be proud of that weird niche interest you have, because one day it might be useful. If you want to contribute to healthy. communities you should. They need niche knowledge.
- The right ppl will find your excel tableur freaking cool
Show threadTombe la pluie - TheespookjeSep 15, 2023
- Also, it's okay if your niche interest is basically useless. If it brings you joy, it's not useless.
- The right people will enjoy hearing you speaking about your specific interest or current hyperfixations even if they don't get a damn thing
- The right people will let you stim and take time off to rest
- The right people will accommodate housechore schedules based on you and the others, including your divergence
Show threadTombe la pluie - TheespookjeSep 15, 2023
- Stop loosing time explaining things about how you are to people who just want you to be normal (according to their normal scale). We all know how much it hurts when the right person doesn't get the thing, but communication implies that the other person is open to listen to you.
- The right people will not mind if you can't talk and have to leave early to rest, take an excessively long bathroom break or have to end up writing convos. Really.
Show threadTombe la pluie - TheespookjeSep 15, 2023
- I ended up recognising people who truly loved me and my other friends when we could manage whole day trip between #neurodivergent people while taking everyone's specificities into consideration, including fatigue, noise, and interests.
- People will leave you or disappear from your life without you understanding. It's painful but weirdly, when the grieving process is over, you will realise life is better for everyone this way.
- Every #neurodivergent is divergent in their own way.
Show threadTombe la pluie - TheespookjeSep 15, 2023
- If you want to talk, talk. If you don't want to, don't. Friends will appreciate you for who you are. I found out it was possible to accommodate two talkative #ADHDer during a call thanks to my friends. If it's too much for them, they *will* tell you.
- It's been a long road. But I'm the kind who never mind my business (I have severe social anxiety), people who were open were always wholesome. If you ask in a nice way, you don't hurt anyone.
- I really insist on this tooth point 2.
Show threadTombe la pluie - TheespookjeSep 15, 2023
- I discovered how much people liked me (and how much fake friends I had, and how much I needed to live home) when I stopped masking. The reasons I thought I would be regected made people think I was freaking cool, and I didn't know it could happen.
- Unless for work, dress how you want to. Believe me, there is always someone that will like it, and that someone has to be yourself first. Even if it's a weird little thing. If you have to go by the shawl lady then so be it.
Show threadTombe la pluie - Theespookje
- it's okay to be weird and it's okay not to fit in. In fact, you will discover that by being true to yourself the right persons will come to you and they are the ones who stick around. I know it's hard. But at the outpatient ward even neurotypical told me they admired how I assumed to dress alternatively from any fashion and to be different. They told me their lives would have been better if they had found that courage when there were my age. So if you want to wear top hats, wear top hats
Sep 15, 2023 at 1:08pmWeb
Show threadTombe la pluie - TheespookjeSep 15, 2023
- But if you wear top hats, make sure some rando doesn't put their freaking jacket on it, because someone did that and now mine is ruined.
- Take time to indulge in your special interests or hyperfixations
- It's okay not to experience things "the right way". Not even neurotypical people can agree on wtf is the right way anyway, so whether you mask or not it will be discussed
- People always talk. But you can't define your personality based on that. It will literally harm you
Show threadTombe la pluie - TheespookjeSep 15, 2023
- As a student, I used to write "Hobbies : community management for a small online forum/interblog project: conflict gestion, proposition of activities and events, promotion on social media, creative writing, teamwork and management". I was hired because of that once. Don't underestimate the skills you get from your hobbies. I spend hours idng poison hemlock on #inaturalist (if you need any hemlock/fool's parsley Id feel free to @ toutpetitfantome), it's still an interest for "botanics/folklore"
Show threadTombe la pluie - TheespookjeSep 15, 2023
- If you don't get social cues/rules, read a bit about them. It doesn't mean you will be able to grasp them, but it can help you in daily interactions and with social anxiety
- Nosy colleagues are a plague. It's okay to spend your weekend laying in bed, don't feel bad about making up things or drowning the fish. "oh this weekend I watched *thing you watched years ago*, oh, I've read about *average thing you saw on the net*. Far acquitences don't care about what you did, true friends won't judge
Show threadTombe la pluie - TheespookjeSep 15, 2023

Last thing:
- #ableism made me bitter. Even as a #disabled person I was #ableist. Learn to undo this. Fighting society is exhausting and it's okay if you can't. Making safe place for #neurodivergent folks thrive and being kind to each other is something that will help other NA people finding happiness and that's important to. Just be yourself, and take care of you. Be indulgent when you can't. Please reach out if you need. Even if it's just to anonymous people, we care about you.

Nice day 🌼

Show threadTombe la pluie - TheespookjeSep 15, 2023
Kuddos to my sister and high-school friends, whom I hated for being like me, and whom I now adore for showing me how to grow.
Show threadTombe la pluie - TheespookjeSep 15, 2023
Kuddos for my current friends for bearing with me even when no one else wanted to, not even myself.
Show threadTombe la pluie - TheespookjeSep 15, 2023
PS : I don't know how many young people are here but it's okay if high-school years are not the best of your life and there is something after it you don't have three years to do it all!
Show threadTombe la pluie - TheespookjeSep 15, 2023
PPS: Thanks for all the love everyone, I wasn't expecting that kind of success!!! I am sorry for the mistakes (in the first tooth, or worth/worse), I'm not a native speaker and I wrote this maniacally on my phone in the train without any kind of proof reading 😅