Lorna
Uncle Dukethe idea of being visited by aliens lost its appeal when i realized they’d likely just be some other planet’s asshole billionaires
GayDeceiver
Alex ChaffeeYeah, that’s essentially the premise of Predator — we are their asshole billionaires’ safari trophies
Obsolete@UncleDuke1969 This was the first post I read this morning! 😂 What a way to start the day! 👍
ChalkwhitehandsPost Titanic Submarine we have to consider the possibility that aliens have indeed been trying to visit us, but the journeys have been organised by alien billionaires and the space ships keep exploding before they get here.
🍸Pooka🥕Boo🍸
DavidB 🍥@andrewplord @UncleDuke1969 So Roswell were actually the ones who sucked a little less. At least they got to see Earth.
JanosSitar
MikeZilla Minus Oneklaatu barada nikto
means
take their money
OsakaJack@UncleDuke1969 @stopthatgirl7 That's true, but they might see our billionaires as inherent enemies, so they'd kill them first.
David Bruchmann@UncleDuke1969
I'd be amazed again, though, if she'd chose me then for *all my dreams become true* 😂
I'd be amazed again, though, if she'd chose me then for *all my dreams become true* 😂
Lord KelvinQuite frankly, I was kind of excited about the whole "Anal Probe" thing of lore.
Then someone pointed out how very unlikely it was that THAT's what aliens would be interested in learning about us, and, well, it kinda took the wind out of my sails, as it were.
Maisie Pubblechook, Esq.@UncleDuke1969 Somehow all the science fiction writers I've read have assumed that the aliens were too advanced to be capitalists.
ZZ Bottom
Osma A 🇫🇮🇺🇦@UncleDuke1969
Not all of them. Some just hitched a ride with said billionaires.
https://hitchhikersguidetoearth.fandom.com/wiki/Ford_Prefect
Not all of them. Some just hitched a ride with said billionaires.
https://hitchhikersguidetoearth.fandom.com/wiki/Ford_Prefect
Ford Prefect
Ford Prefect (also called Ix) is a good friend of the an ordinary Earthman named Arthur Dent who knew him for several years and believed him to be "an out of work actor from the town of Guildford" in Surrey. Ford reinforced that impression by carrying around scripts of plays he is supposed to be auditioning for; when the Earth is about to be demolished, he finally throws these scripts away.) However, Ford is actually from a small planet somewhere in the vicinity of Betelgeuse, and had originally
SP⟁CED GO⟁TYou now, reality has enough bummer thoughts, why ya gotta ruin the SciFi fantasy thoughts too?
Jaycie@UncleDuke1969 It's the only explanation for why an otherwise advanced civilization could keep crashing on our planet.
Mark - Ottawa on Tundra 🇨🇦 
@UncleDuke1969 but that would pre-suppose capitalism on the alien's planet. Hopefully if they are able to traverse space they would have evolved past capitalism.
Aviva Gary@UncleDuke1969 They might not have money but might be smart enough to stay away from us... 👀 😜
Ged|Net
OtownKim@UncleDuke1969 I want them to appear. Loud and clear so Religion can be dismantled!!!!!
@otownKim @UncleDuke1969 new twist: they're missionaries
Paul Chambers🚧@otownKim Just saw your reply due to the main post making the rounds again. They built ET into religion with certain factions believing, starting at Ezekiel 1:4 in the Bible, his "vision" was an Extraterrestrial Encounter. They left nothing to chance in order to keep the enterprise churning along.😉 🤭
Mike Switzer
BlackDutchSnark
Florian 'floe' Echtler@UncleDuke1969 Good point. That would also explain why the aliens are apparently so incompetent that they regularly show up on radar or even crash in Roswell.
Uva BeThat's so funny! 😸
vorlon@UncleDuke1969 you think a capitalist society would make it past the Great Filter?
Interesting
knapjack@Jgmeadows @UncleDuke1969 Sadly, I would watch that show.
@UncleDuke1969 the real reason why we have all those alien invasion stories
BigLinter@UncleDuke1969 im more thinking noone would ever want to contact us, we are like the fat kid in school that bullies others.
"make first contact, please... you can come, but the green ones, we will lock em up and gas em... and your children... we will leave them alone till theyre at school, then we will sell them cocaine and meth and extasy to make em cooler..."
Seb@UncleDuke1969 The chances are anything coming from Mars is a billionaire, he said.
Hylke Bons 🥜@UncleDuke1969 it does explain why they crash here all the time and need to be picked up by the government.
Kim Possible@UncleDuke1969 This is freaking brilliant insight!
Dr. Jerry Garcia@UncleDuke1969 Billionaire here: WE ARE THE ALIENS; you are just too stupid to tax us;)
Alien AnomalyWe’re not though. We’re just regular assholes.
Lish@UncleDuke1969 yeah, wasn't really thinking about that, but you're right! That's the problem...
David Scott Moyer@UncleDuke1969 Their chauffeurs would probably be cool.
GMate8@UncleDuke1969 if they've ever invented money lol
Miki@UncleDuke1969
They are here with us for centuries, but we have wrong image and perception of them.
They are here with us for centuries, but we have wrong image and perception of them.
Jungle George 🌴🌳🌲🍃
KiwiRed@UncleDuke1969 That explains a lot, when you think about it.
Carlos Solís
Maverynthia🌱I mean considering all the horror stories of being abducted and "probed" and cattle mutilation. Certainly seem to think they are entitled.
@UncleDuke1969 on the other hand, takes some of the stress out of first contact.
Oh shit, we accidentally murdered the first visitor to our planet, the aliens are going to annihilate us… Wait, you’re cool with it? Massive arsehole you say? No, no, the parade isn’t necessary, you’re welcome.
🥥 Tucker Carlson's Nuts 🥥@UncleDuke1969
🥥 #Aliens, Uncle Duke = Another planet's asshole billionaires with a kink for butt stuff. 🥥
🥥 #Aliens, Uncle Duke = Another planet's asshole billionaires with a kink for butt stuff. 🥥
@UncleDuke1969 I’ve always thought they will be here because their planet is dying due to lack of one mineral/element/resource and we will all be slaughtered first thing to make it easier to collect what they need…but I think I’m projecting what humans would do on an alien planet…
Phangurl Di 🖖@UncleDuke1969 or authoritarian fascist 🤬...
The history of how humans treated new civilizations they encountered was horrific. No reason to think alien life would treat us any better. 🫤 But I'm still hoping for Vulcans as our first contact.
The history of how humans treated new civilizations they encountered was horrific. No reason to think alien life would treat us any better. 🫤 But I'm still hoping for Vulcans as our first contact.
vampirdaddy@UncleDuke1969
That would explain the late-night abductions (alien jerks on a night out after getting drunk)...
That would explain the late-night abductions (alien jerks on a night out after getting drunk)...
Pete Alex Harris🦡🕸️🌲/∞🪐∫@UncleDuke1969
Eh, I think letting your planet's ecosystem get burned into carbon dioxide and share value by billionaires might be the Great Filter, so we won't get to meet any civilisations who made that mistake.
And they won't get to meet us…
mathew@UncleDuke1969 I wrote a short story about meeting an alien and finding out it was making a TV documentary called "Humans: The Little Clowns of the Milky Way", and asking why they hadn't sent scientists, and being told "They can't get the funding".
Goth Music Latin America@UncleDuke1969 According to the Posadists, the aliens who visit us are going to be communists who lead us into the revolution, but only after most humans have died of nuclear war (J. Posadas was a weird dude, so I'd take it with a grain of salt, though).
Colopen@UncleDuke1969 we're here because of the worldwide peasant revolt on our planet bc we hoarded the edible rhodium.
Take us to your leader.
Andrew "Harris/? 2024" Glisson@UncleDuke1969 "'To Serve Blockchain'! It's a crypto investment portfolio!!!"
spaduf@UncleDuke1969 Big Stargate vibes
Nilly Robot@UncleDuke1969 ...oh. That had not occured to me. That's somehow more of a bummer than the Independence Day guys or the Borg or something.
Kim Possible 
@UncleDuke1969 I really wish we had a trophy system, because this post would get my inaugural trophy. 🏆🏆🏆