Mastodawn

Doc Impossible Feb 5, 2023

Okay, here's my hot #trans take that'll get me canceled:

I absolutely, totally, completely *do not care* if transition is just a fetish for someone, and I think that, collectively, the "it's not a fetish" line of argumentation does nothing but give our enemies ammunition.

Don't get me wrong: being trans isn't a fetish. I just don't give a flying fuck if someone transitions because of kink. And, moreover, I think there are entire "fetishes" that exist exclusively to be a gender outlet for trans people deeply in denial because of how transphobic the world is.

Psychology has studied kink and fetish really extensively, and a healthy embrace of fetish improves mental and physical health in every single metric we've measured it. Fetish is literally one of the best things a person can embrace for a longer, healthier life. And, like, if I see someone rocking a day collar at the grocery store, it doesn't bug me any, doesn't affect my life in the least. I just think the same standard should apply broadly.

And while I really do think that pretty much anyone who would want to transition "as part of a fetish" is just plain trans and using kink as a fig leaf, people are unbelievably wide and varied. There's an exception for literally every single part of being human I've ever cared to look for. So, logically, that means there's *someone* out there who has, or would, transition just because it was a fetish for them.

And if I met them, I'd high-five them for living their best life.

Life's too short to live in shame. 🤷‍♀️

Doc Impossible Feb 5, 2023

And because absolutely nobody asked, I think that:

Sissy everything
Forced fem/forced masc
Basically the entirety of transformation kink (I'll entertain arguments on inanimate objects tf)

Is nothing more than trans people pining for the bodies and lives we wish we could have. 💅

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@Impossible_PhD

Adult Baby. / ABDL

Furry.

Both of those are also Transformation. Ask me how I know.

Doc Impossible Feb 5, 2023

@Mendie_Taoma I know next to nothing about ADBL, so no comment there. Hard squick for me, so learning about it is very challenging.

I won't say the *entirety* of furry is trans. Anthro TF definitely, but like the fursuit crowd, I've found, seems very often about being neurodivergent, about making the masking of everyday life *literal*, and being able to act in ways you otherwise have to hide, you know? I think the prevalence of trans folks in the fursuit crowd is an artifact of how common ND people are in it. Sort of a reversed cause and effect.

progresspride_flag

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@Impossible_PhD Fair, and dare I say "Valid" concerns here.

I'm just saying, that at least for me, I had to have the past that I had, in order to accept that I am Trans. It was easier for me then, to take those detours, than not. Not that I knew that's what I was doing at the time.

It's why I took to your original point so well.

FWIW, I'm more Furry than AB, and even at that, I still don't own a fursuit, etc, etc. Ears and tail? Yes. The rest? No.

I've brought Furry forward, and it remains with me. [Obviously] I still have 3 diapers left from the box of 8 that I bought before Covid.

Doc Impossible Feb 5, 2023

@Mendie_Taoma And rock on! Honestly, from what I've read, kink is always about serving needs we can't meet in the rest of our lives, and which we sublimate into the bedroom. And like... That means you're meeting needs with it. And that's inherently a good thing.

Tattie (old account)Feb 5, 2023

@Impossible_PhD I've rocked the potato persona since I was a teen, used it as a nickname socially for many years. Only recently did I realise what I was always trying to say:

"I am masking!", I was announcing to the world. "What you see in front of you is not the real me."

And it was always about both my autism and my transness.
@Mendie_Taoma

Luna Dragofelis ΘΔ moved to @[email protected]Feb 5, 2023

@Impossible_PhD With regards to transformation kink, it's definitely something I really enjoyed in my days as a transgender transspecies egg. I really wished to be turned into a catgirl, but since I hadn't realized yet that I'm trans, I would have thought *everyone* wants to be a catgirl. Turns out that most people in human bodies like being human.

Cayla Hardwicke Feb 5, 2023

@Impossible_PhD
I mean I refused transitioning cause I thought it was only a fetish for a while, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't still think it was hot

Doc Impossible Feb 5, 2023

@Kaminara And like...? What's the problem with that. Frankly, I think there's a *shitload* that's hot as hell about all this.

Cayla Hardwicke Feb 5, 2023

@Impossible_PhD
Yep, I just convinced myself for so long that meant I didn't count as trans, but that's totally wrong, sad my first access to anything trans was a transmedicalist and I have made it my mission to counteract anyone who says that there are requirements before you can be trans cause it caused me so much harm and I can't imagine how bad it is for others

Doc Impossible Feb 5, 2023

@Kaminara Ughhhhh fucking truscum. I'm sorry. 🫂

Cayla Hardwicke Feb 5, 2023

@Impossible_PhD
Thank you, though at least any of their influence only effects how I see myself rather than how I treat anyone else but I continue to let myself be trans with no asterisk

Doc Impossible Feb 5, 2023

@Kaminara That's still horrid! You deserved so much better.

Cayla Hardwicke Feb 5, 2023

@Impossible_PhD
Yes but is so much better now, used to be that I didn't consider myself trans until I was willing to do all the surgeries, and so when I realized I was likely trans I spent more than a year convincing myself that I wanted the surgeries no matter how bad they were

Cayla Hardwicke Feb 5, 2023

@Impossible_PhD
(the trans med lied about how bad bottom surgery was and I didn't know ffs existed at all) and then I allowed myself think I could possibly transition and *then* I found out none of that matters 😅 @stoptweetingmia is who actually mad that clear so I will always be a fan of hers

Tattie (old account)Feb 5, 2023

@Impossible_PhD ok, but does anyone have a good explanation of why trans people are drawn towards more general TF?

(Coming from someone who used to invalidate themselves by explaining it away as TF fetish.)

Doc Impossible Feb 5, 2023

@Tattie Because it allows us to cast off the bonds of our physical and social realities to live the embodied reality we wish we could have?

Also, because it's often getting turned into a super sexy form?

Tattie (old account)Feb 5, 2023

@Impossible_PhD hmm, I think I'm working to a broader definition of TF than you.

Doc Impossible Feb 5, 2023

@Tattie Possibly. I mean, I'm demi, so it's not like I dove deeply into this pool to plumb its depths. I just talk to people and read research.

lj·rk Feb 5, 2023

@Impossible_PhD Add having a fetish *for* trans people to the bucket: Hell, if someone actually has a sexual fetish w.r.t. to trans people I couldn't care less either.

Of course, this is limited to staying respectful and no fetish*ization* in the sense of sexualization please.

Doc Impossible Feb 5, 2023

@ljrk Yeahhhhh that's usually just psychologically projected gender euphoria from what I've seen.

lj·rk Feb 5, 2023

@Impossible_PhD Although there seem to be some cis women who have a fetish for trans femme people, so it's not always that 100%. But they're in general rather considerate and don't consider one primarily as a fetish target. And then stuff like that's fine by me.

Doc Impossible Feb 5, 2023

@ljrk I have yet to run into cisf chasers in the wild, I guess, so my experience in that respect is limited.

lj·rk Feb 5, 2023

@Impossible_PhD Well, as I said, in my experience rather considerate and don't try to force anything, hence maybe not as "noticeable". They simply have the fetish, enjoy it and pursue it with due respect.

@Impossible_PhD

“Life’s too short to live in shame.”

This is it for me right here. Assigning shame to being trans, to deviating from conventional norms has caused incalculable damage. Even those that eventually do transition may do so with significant repression of said shame - that will take years to work through and process. I’m with you that it doesn’t matter the reason as long as someone can find happiness in their true self.

@emmasjourney @Impossible_PhD
50 years of my conservative and god fearing parents driving the term "dirty little pervert" (and similar) into my soul from the age of 16 following the discovery of my tiny stash of girl clothes during a search of my room while I was out, had me convinced that my undiagnosed gender dysphoria was just a fetish and prevented me from figuring out who I was until I was 67.

Doc Impossible Feb 5, 2023

@Jamie @emmasjourney Ohhh, Jamie. 🫂🫂🫂

@Jamie Sigh… exactly my point. I’m so sorry Jamie. 🫂

@Impossible_PhD

@emmasjourney @Impossible_PhD
I got there in the end. Just turned 69 and my HRTversary is on Friday.

Olivia Werth 🏳️‍⚧️Feb 5, 2023

@Impossible_PhD @Jamie @emmasjourney Happy late HRTversary

@Jamie @Impossible_PhD Getting there in the end… all that matters. Happy HRTversary.

ZZ Bottom Feb 5, 2023

@Jamie @emmasjourney @Impossible_PhD

Olivia Werth 🏳️‍⚧️Feb 5, 2023

@Jamie @Impossible_PhD @emmasjourney That’s rough. I’m sorry you had to go through that, & glad you made it through. For me, as I wrote about a couple of days ago, it was a childhood of being raised to feel shame in everything about me suddenly coalescing around just the fear of being found to be crossdressing when I was 15 that buried me until I was 45. If I had actually been caught dressing, I don’t think I’d have survived it.

Bashfluff Feb 5, 2023

@Impossible_PhD Preach. We worry too much about optics and too little about the truth. Reminds me of how people talk about detransition. It’s as if the only detransition people are willing to recognize is one where someone is “wrong about being trans.” Because the idea that you can live as a transgender woman for a decade and then your identity can change doesn’t mesh with how they present gender and being transgender as this inherent trait, this unchanging thing you’re born with.