Twitter Death Cultlmao this is how you preserve value on your freefalling stock
the dude just can't help himself
"Excellent dig sir, got 'em again and call the burn unit, but please elon please do something my retirement depends on this elon please."
I'm guessing he was on the receiving end of some pretty spicy DMs from elon stans
"If Tesla's stock is going to crater I want people watching it fall on Twitter!"
oh my god
he's trying to get his weirdo followers to juice the stock back up
usually when companies get started and grow, their products get better over time as learning effects kick in and they fine-tune the production process and catch and fix problems. tesla is unusual in that their cars are getting worse the more of them they make
they are still building them outside in a circus tent haunted by the ghosts of murdered clowns, aren't they?
https://www.teslarati.com/tesla-placed-bottom-consumer-reports-reliability-rankings/
I thought it was illegal to lie about this stuff
lmao that's like 5 "um er" per actual word
https://nitter.net/williamlegate/status/1606125506889392131#m
crazy how long it's taken legislation and enforcement to catch up, but things are at least happening at some pace
https://www.sfchronicle.com/tech/article/New-California-law-effectively-bans-Tesla-from-17672908.php
Sure it's peanuts compared to their overvalue but lol
South Korea fines Tesla $2.2 mln for exaggerating driving range of EVs
South Korea's antitrust regulator said it would impose a 2.85 billion won ($2.2 million) fine on Tesla Inc <a href="https://www.reuters.com/companies/TSLA.O/"target="_blank">(TSLA.O)</a> for failing to tell its customers about the shorter driving range of its electric vehicles (EVs) in low temperatures.
imagine four tesla passengers at the bottom of a cliff. tesla stocks work the same way
Two children unharmed, parents suffer non life-threatening injuries after Tesla Model Y falls 250ft down steep cliff [Update]
The Tesla Model Y has a perfect five-star safety rating, and is one of the safest cars ever tested. That high level of safety was on full display after a serious crash in California on [...]
If you thought the Tesla folks who were transferred over to Twitter were safe, lol, lmao
song/content combo
https://imgur.com/dk9NLU6.mp4
https://imgur.com/dk9NLU6.mp4
Sarah Michelle Gellar! What do you think about Elon Musk!?
Sarah Michelle Gellar:
*rolls eyes*
*jerk-off motion*
Sarah Michelle Gellar on Wolf Pack, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Career
Twenty years after 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer,' its star is back with more high school horror as she battles to protect her younger 'Wolf Pack' co-stars — and her daughter — from industry abuses: “I hope that I’ve set up a safety net for these actors that I didn’t have.”
"Musk tweeted about the allegedly pending deal after the Financial Times reported that the Saudi Arabia government's Public Investment Fund had acquired a $2 billion stake in Tesla."
they literally worship him as a god
blood sacrifice and all
die for dorkseed
Pitchbot hard at work
https://www.nytimes.com/2023/01/17/magazine/tesla-autopilot-self-driving-elon-musk.html
every time a company Musk runs puts out lousy, smug voiced copy like that disclaimer and "this is a legacy verified, it may or may not be notable" you can safely bet that he personally dictated it and ordered it to be put in
It's clear Walter Huang's family lawyers have these emails. They repeatedly ask Elluswamy about musk involvement in the video and the fact that it's 'Continuous.' The Elluswamy dood goes on a pedantic back and forth about what 'continuous' means as if the lawyers are likening it to the opening scene of Touch of Evil. They also ask how involved he was who did what and whether musk was keeping tabs on what was going on while Ellusswamy does his clueless routine the whole time.
many board members have said that they don't like my tweets or me tweeting
https://www.theverge.com/2023/1/20/23564629/elon-musk-twitter-testimony-securities-fraud-trial
"Elon Musk admits at trial that he ignored pleas to stop tweeting
They have a list.
Among the people who asked him to stop tweeting are Antonio Gracias, a former director on Tesla’s board, investors Ron Baron and Sam Teller, Musk’s former de facto chief of staff, and other close associates.
"I suppose I continued to tweet, yes,” Musk replied when asked if he ignored his advisors and investors"
Tesla, insurers take different paths to deal with expensive repairs
Tesla Inc's <a href="https://www.reuters.com/companies/TSLA.O" target="_blank">(TSLA.O)</a> electric vehicles are expensive to repair - so much so that the automaker and insurers are addressing the issue in sharply different ways.
Remember folks, the shining future of transportation is shitty overpriced tunnels that can allow one car at a time.
external combustion engine
https://www.ktvu.com/news/tesla-spontaneously-combusts-on-sacramento-freeway
if you were wondering how things are going over at tesla, hoo boy they're going swimmingly
I don't know whether it is sad or funny that the guy who posted Tesla self driving fucking up and made the news still owns a Tesla, but Tesla has blackballed him from receiving repairs to his Tesla.
Imagine posting "my shitbox civic broke down again" on Instagram and having the CEO of Honda turn up and have a meltdown on your doorstep.
where's the legally required high-center brake light (mandatory on light trucks since 1994)?
I hope this will not impact Tesla's ability to sell carbon credits
Steering wheel fell off, just normal car things. But we’ll buy back your car (which has nothing wrong with it anyways
they are gonna pay him aren’t they
https://www.washingtonpost.com/us-policy/2023/02/10/elon-musk-biden-tesla-charging/
I am sure the NLRB will take it very seriously and may even tut-tut musk, maybe even strongly
just another software update "recall"
apparently it just disables the rolling-stop feature
now they just need to disable the "hits curbs in the snow", "hits stationary objects at highway speeds", and "runs over children" features
I assume they found out about their (lack of) unemployment benefits tho
Eberhard, who Musk ousted as CEO of Tesla in 2007, said creating software for the electric cars to drive themselves was the least of his concerns when he was at Tesla.
"So, keep in mind that all this FSD autonomous, autopilot crap — none of that existed when I was there," he said. "We were still busy trying to make the car work and we never thought about that at all. That came later. That requires a much, much bigger budget than we had."
I'm excited for the casting on what will be a theranos/the dropout season 2. someone suggested kathy bates could play lonny
"I didn't use government money! I used money from my dad's apartheid emerald mine!"
this shit has a long way to drop, but if his song and dance press event is no longer wowing rubes, it might even happen
and all it took was him pissing off the business and tech press by running twitter into the ground
Half Cocked Law@cspam They're both wrong. Elon didn't start Tesla.
OutOnTheMoors@cspam Just a minor fact-check: the emerald mine tale is 95% bullshit. It should be "from my dad's apartheid property development" 😉
¡a!n@cspam why are all their cars/trucks/whatever so fucking ugly
🌲🧿 "Max"t💽d🏵️n 🔎🍄@cspam what about the "combusts for no reason" "feature"?
🤖 The Droid Engineer (⊙﹏⊙)@cspam
It will be in the $20k upgrade along with the ability to disable dying in a fiery blaze in your car.
It will be in the $20k upgrade along with the ability to disable dying in a fiery blaze in your car.
Brian Orce 
Justin Ferrell
busta kitten@cspam apparently if you throw a metal sphere at its bullerproof windows, they will shatter
@cspam have they still not fixed that?
Roulette@cspam if the property rights people could give an ounce of that energy to actually preserving the spirit of what it means to actually own something by idk supporting right to repair or something, that'd be pretty cool
SM@cspam lmfao yea ok, good
CauseOfBSOD@cspam And I bet that rather than fixing it, Musk will just ban that person's twitter account and pretend nothing happens until the regulators start moving.
There are very few scenarios where over-engineering something is bad (they are all where you want something to fail in a specific way if it fails to try and avoid harm, such as scuba tank burst discs). This steering column has very clearly had some metaphorical, and possibly literal corners cut.
@cspam yeah lithium will do that sometimes, and once it starts it doesn't stop
don't fuck around with batteries, especially the rechargeable ones.