revRecluseDec 29, 2022
Janel Comeau

the 4 types of national anthems:

- Gosh, This Sure is an Attractive Piece of Land We've Got Here

- That One War in Particular was a Doozy

- We Only Sing Parts of This Song Now Because the Other Verses are Racist

- We Speak French and We Will Fucking Kill You

Dec 22, 2022 at 11:05pmWeb
Show threadJanel ComeauDec 22, 2022
fun fact, the Canadian national anthem fits into two different categories depending on which language you're singing it in
Show threadBill MKDec 23, 2022
@VeryBadLlama the US anthem fits the first three.
Show threadJD HammondDec 23, 2022
@billmk @VeryBadLlama The part everyone sings doesn't really talk much about land
Show threadBill MKDec 23, 2022
@anxietybear @VeryBadLlama true.
Show threadP StewartDec 23, 2022
@VeryBadLlama Some days you want the anodyne ode to the scenery, some days you want the Jesuit war hymn.
Show threadDr. FrogDec 25, 2022
@VeryBadLlama The thing I find most interesting about the Canadian anthem is that the Anglophones sing about protecting their country ("we stand on guard for thee") while the Francophones sing about the country protecting *them* ("protégera nos foyers et nos droits"). 🤔
Show threadClaude GohierDec 28, 2022

@PhD_Frog @VeryBadLlama

Also, the French one is the original.

Show threadNicolas HolzschuchDec 25, 2022
@VeryBadLlama I think the South African one too.
Show threadEnema CowboyDec 28, 2022

@VeryBadLlama

The misheard lyric version is
O Canada!
We stand on cars and freeze.

Show thread(moved)Galbinus Caeli 🌯Dec 28, 2022
@VeryBadLlama USA fits B) and C). Need to replace it with "This land is your land"
Show threadamstrayDec 28, 2022
@SkipHuffman @VeryBadLlama keep the melody, change the lyrics
Show thread(moved)Galbinus Caeli 🌯Dec 28, 2022
@amstray @VeryBadLlama still has super difficult high notes and transitions. "This Land" is easy and has great lyrics.
Show threadMrEdgarBassFeb 8, 2025
@amstray @SkipHuffman @VeryBadLlama Melody is hard to sing. Difficult for most folks. Lyrics need reworking as well. I agree that #ThisLandIsYourLand will work
Show threadJorge Salvador CaffarenaDec 29, 2022

@VeryBadLlama do lyric-less anthems like Spain’s one get their own category though? 😁 Something like:

- Hum hum, hum hum! Hum hum hummm.

Show threadYogthosJul 21, 2023
@VeryBadLlama the Soviet anthem was a celebration of worker liberation and internationalism :)
Show threadLeBonkMar 4, 2025
@yogthos @VeryBadLlama
that one (class) war in particular?
Show threadGaëtan PerraultJul 4, 2024

@VeryBadLlama yep, we have the English Protestant anthem and the French Catholic anthem.

Just read them both to my 12-year old on Canada Day. "Those are not at all the same thing. We just do the bilingual version at school."

Is there another category for "we mashed versions together to confuse people"? Maybe a special category for doing three verses in three different languages?

Show threadDawnJul 5, 2024
@VeryBadLlama I mean, the English version _also_ fits "We Speak French and We Will Fucking Kill You" if you know to look for it. It's not in your face about it, but that's not really how we roll anyways.
Show threadJan BrachatDec 22, 2022
@VeryBadLlama
Whatever country has an anthem like number 3?
Show threadKaptain KoboldDec 22, 2022

@Janko @VeryBadLlama

Verse 6 of the UK national anthem is somewhat disparaging about one of the peoples of the kingdon :)

Show threadJan BrachatDec 22, 2022
@kaptainkobold @VeryBadLlama i did Not know that. Thank you.
Show threadIn Search of a Better WorldDec 23, 2022

@kaptainkobold @Janko @VeryBadLlama

The English think that Britain and England are synonymous, and that Scots, Welsh, and Irish are Johnny Foreigner who should bend the knee.

Show threadgrahamszDec 23, 2022

@kaptainkobold @Janko @VeryBadLlama

I feel like a bad Scot for not even knowing about the 6th verse. Not sure i could get much further than the 1st verse anyway.

Show threadKaptain KoboldDec 23, 2022

@grahamsz @Janko @VeryBadLlama

I certainly can't get past the first verse.

One of the best things about having dual nationality is that it means I have two national anthems to not stand up for :)

Show threadRosamundiDec 29, 2022
@grahamsz @kaptainkobold @Janko @VeryBadLlama nobody can get past the first verse and chorus. The second and subsequent verses are all "ner ner ner ner ner nurr, nurr nurr nurr nurr nurr nurr, God save the qu-err King." 😁
Show threadAntiqueightDec 23, 2022
@Janko @VeryBadLlama the US i believe
Show threadKevin SoursDec 23, 2022
@Antiqueight @Janko @VeryBadLlama
On the scale of these things the US -- surprisingly -- doesn't rate all that high
https://amhistory.si.edu/starspangledbanner/pdf/ssb_lyrics.pdf
Request Rejected

Show threadMax HarmonyDec 28, 2022
@kevinrsours I mean, "no refuge could save the hireling and slave / from the terror of flight or the gloom of the grave" is pretty bad.
Show threadPig On The Wing 🐖Dec 23, 2022
@Janko @VeryBadLlama Germany
Show threadEmma Byrne PhDDec 23, 2022
@Janko @VeryBadLlama the UK too...
Show threadIn Search of a Better WorldDec 23, 2022

@emmaByrneAuthor @Janko @VeryBadLlama

For the UK and North Korea. Not that they are similar in any other way. One is a paranoid, nuclear armed, isolationist, rogue state that deliberately defies international consensus, and is home to a poverty crippled and paranoid people. The other is North Korea.

Show threadEmma Byrne PhDDec 23, 2022
@CrypticMirror @Janko @VeryBadLlama badum tish!
Show thread🛡 TheRealSamsyDec 23, 2022
@Janko @VeryBadLlama Germany.
Show threadJD HammondDec 23, 2022
@Janko @VeryBadLlama The US has at least one unmentionable stanza about how we're better than our slaves, who fight for Britain
Show threadKadsepföschDec 23, 2022

@Janko @VeryBadLlama Germany for example. Now only the third verse of the original anthem is the German national anthem.

One verse had the text "Germany, Germany over everything" in it. And we all know where that mindset lead to.

Show threadMorfyddDec 23, 2022
@Glatorius @Janko @VeryBadLlama Not a native German speaker, but my understanding was that it was supposed to mean, “you’re German now, forget Hesse vs. Saxony vs. Prussia vs…” but it certainly could be construed the other way…
Show threadKat Dec 24, 2022
@morfydd @Glatorius @Janko @VeryBadLlama honestly that sounds worse
Show threadKadsepföschDec 24, 2022

@meowlygrowly @morfydd @Janko @VeryBadLlama But that's Germany's history. Germany as one entity isn't that old. Before, there were all these little kingdoms and baronies... and those got united into a "German Empire" (Bismark played a big role in this).

So to keep that unity you also had to have a hymn that promoted unity. 😌

Show threadHorst Albermann 🇪🇺🇩🇪Dec 28, 2022

@Glatorius @meowlygrowly @morfydd @Janko @VeryBadLlama The text to the German national anthem is actually older than the German nation state and was written on Helgoland in 1841. British at that time. And Germany as a "united fatherland" was at that time the unattainable dream of German democrats ...

So the first two verses are rather not sung anymore because they can only be misunderstood without the right temporal context and especially after the 2nd World War started by Germany.

Show threadHorst Albermann 🇪🇺🇩🇪Dec 28, 2022
@Glatorius @meowlygrowly @morfydd @Janko @VeryBadLlama
The German anthem is thus a 3, but not for the listed reason.
Show threadKat Dec 28, 2022
@h_albermann so if my only traceable European family immigrated/colonized Canada from Prussia, am I in that temporal context? 🤔 I like not claiming a modern European country when I explain what kinds of European I am. 😅
Show threadMorfyddDec 24, 2022
@meowlygrowly @Glatorius @Janko @VeryBadLlama It's kind of what the US did over the years, moving from the Articles of Confederation to the Constitution. IIRC during the Civil War General Lee chose the south because he felt himself to be more of a Virginian than an American. And certainly after the Civil War there was a lot of "nope, all one country now/again, let's sing Kumbaya". Countries made up of multiple entities need to enforce their unity somehow. 🤷
Show threadKat Dec 24, 2022
@morfydd Europe wasn't colonized and it's original residents genocided while a bunch of people argued over arbitrary borders and, mostly, the right to own human lives,.. but those places (Prussia etc) we're indeed occupied by invading armies for generations until dissolved into other countries so I imagine there was some kind of sentimentality and at one point that song sounded like "we won shut up your whining" , Germany superiority at it's infancy 🤔
Show threadAdam EkDec 29, 2022
@meowlygrowly Europe was back during the migration period and Roman Empire. The barbarians attacking Rome were mostly being chased by other barbarians.
Show threadKat Dec 29, 2022
@adamek yes gauls fought other gauls (except they had tribes and their own names, and no shared concept of a united land) which helped Rome split them and conquer them easily. However I'm not taking about 2000+ years ago. I'm talking about when Prussia existed and how borders changed and how prideful the places that became Germany were. It was just a shower thought anyway, that's why the "thinking 🤔 emoji". This is interesting though https://www.dailyscandinavian.com/the-fascinating-story-of-the-danish-protest-pigs/ my family immigrated from Prussia
The Fascinating Story of the Danish Protest Pigs

The Fascinating Story of the Danish Protest Pigs

Daily Scandinavian
Show threadKat Dec 29, 2022
@adamek ancient Rome is my thing, not 17th century Prussia tbh. I just always remember the pig thing and imagine then being told by a song you're German now soon after this happened.
Show threadMichael GemarDec 24, 2022
@morfydd @Glatorius @Janko @VeryBadLlama The lyric “over all *in the world*” doesn’t sound like a plea for Germanic unification. (That said, saying your country is better than everyone else is kind of the remit of national anthems.)
Show threadsilverhorsemanJan 4, 2023
@morfydd @Glatorius @Janko @VeryBadLlama
More like:
'You are now Prussian vassals!
Wait, that was the first draft.
I mean, we're all Germans now!'
-the Kaiser
Show threadVirginicusDec 25, 2022
@Glatorius @Janko @VeryBadLlama And the second verse is a drinking song, which more countries ought to try.
Show threadClaudius LinkFeb 9, 2024

@Glatorius @Janko @VeryBadLlama
I believe even more problematic is the geographic description of the borders

Von der Maas bis an die Memel,
Von der Etsch bis an den Belt
(From the Meuse to the Neman
From the Adige to the Little Belt,)

Maas/Meuse is a river running through France and Belgium (e.g. through Maastricht)
Memel/Neman, is a river that rises in central Belarus and flows through Lithuania

Etsch/Adige is a river in north Italy
The Belt is a strait in Denmark

Show threadclodagh_taitDec 23, 2022
@Janko @VeryBadLlama The Irish one goes on about killing Saxons (the English). It's very bloody generally, yet despite this manages to be deathly dreary.
Show threadCíat Ó GáibhtheacháinDec 26, 2022
@clodagh_tait @Janko @VeryBadLlama At least it's not "Ireland's Call"... 🤢
Show threadillustroDec 29, 2022
@clodagh_tait @Janko @VeryBadLlama *the song the Irish national anthem is drawn from goes on about killing Saxons. The anthem itself has only ever been the chorus of the full song: https://www.gov.ie/en/publication/52a628-the-national-anthem/
The National Anthem

Find out more about Ireland's National Anthem, Amhrán na bhFiann (The Soldier's Song)

Show threadTwobiscuits🚴‍♂️ Dec 29, 2022
@clodagh_tait @Janko @VeryBadLlama file it under "no. 2, but we're not finished hating them"
Show threadMaude NificentDec 25, 2022

@Janko @VeryBadLlama

Australia’s sounds like a funeral dirge,
and the most commonly sung lyrics are :

“mumble mumble mumble um er mumble mumble bum”

it has been amended at various times to correct
- gender bias
- brit /anglo/ white-centrism
- and most recently, complete erasure of Indigenous peoples

still contains a lie about having boundless plains to share
despite blatant government brutality towards asylum seekers,
and RW slogans like “Eff Off We’re Full”

anthems are relics of a time when cannon fodder was required for aristocratic family squabbles, and lumpen-proles were needed for primary/ secondary industry (tho’ now they do come in handy for neo-lib crapitalist businesses like prisons, & policing the administration of government contracted social services

Show threadPharaohKattDec 25, 2022
@VeryBadLlama @maudenificent @Janko
I was gonna say Australia. There’s some 😬 there, esp regarding Aboriginal peoples
Show threadResunaDec 28, 2022
@Janko @maudenificent @VeryBadLlama @pharaohkatt As I was saying... I wish I'd been old enough to vote for Waltzing Matilda when it was on the ballot. 43% voted for Advance Australia Fair. What was WRONG with them?
Show threadAbaddonDec 28, 2022
@resuna @Janko @maudenificent @VeryBadLlama @pharaohkatt waltzing Matilda would have been an equally terrible anthem. At home we’d prefer a version of “I am Australian” which would make an awesome inclusive anthem.
Show threadSplodgeDec 29, 2022

@resuna @Janko @maudenificent @VeryBadLlama @pharaohkatt
"I'm starving, I've found food. A member of the bunyip aristocracy has set his minions on me, I'd rather die than let them touch me. This land holds ghosts."

Actually yes, it's quite apt.

Show threadmekka okereke Dec 25, 2022

@Janko @VeryBadLlama

History Time!

Before he wrote the US National anthem, Francis Scott Key tried to play soldier boy in the war of 1812. He fought in the Battle of Bladenburg near DC where ~7K US forces fought ~4K British. The heavily outnumbered Brits had a group of paid soldiers called the Colonial Marines that included some Black dudes✊🏿

Brits said, "Yo slaves! Let us train you as soldiers! You will get paid to kill slavers!"

You already know what happened next.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Cze5A4iyQGk

Game of Thrones Season 4: Episode #3 Clip - Dany's Speech (HBO)

YouTube