Pxrpleberry 🧸🔮Dec 18, 2022

I’m 23, almost 24 in a month, and I haven’t had a friend IRL in like… I literally just counted. 6 years!? 🥲

I have recently decided that finding fellow autistic girlfriends - or at least ADHD - to unmask with IRL would be the best decision for me. But unfortunately, I have no idea how to find those friends. I never go outside. And even if I do, I don’t seem to connect with anyone. While everyone connects with everyone.

@actuallyautistic #ActuallyAutistic #AuDHD #Autistic #neurodivergent

Show threadHRH ginsterbuschDec 18, 2022

@Pxrpleberry @actuallyautistic well, same. ie. with not having (much) friends.

the "get a neurodivergent gf" route is deffo a good idea. in theory, that should work out without having to think much (or specifically ASK) about it.

when thinking back, next to ALL of my former significant others are neurodiverse, to say the least.
None of them were sought out because of that criteria, but: being friends, good to talk to, sharing interests, and: are intelligent (whatever that means).

Show threadNick

@ginsterbusch @Pxrpleberry @actuallyautistic

I think, as ND people, we need both ND and NT people in our lives.

My wife of 26 years (and partner of 28) is NT. It has been a long, and at times arduous, journey for us both, particularly as we only realised I was autistic a few years ago. But now we both understand autism and know ourselves and each other so well, it's a great partnership.

#ActuallyAutistic

Dec 18, 2022 at 10:17pmWeb
Show threadNickDec 18, 2022

@ginsterbusch @Pxrpleberry @actuallyautistic

And she can do the PR stuff for us as a couple :-)

#ActuallyAutistc

Show threadHRH ginsterbuschDec 18, 2022

@ratcatcher @Pxrpleberry @actuallyautistic

Thats kinda supporting what I'm trying to express: Good idea, but use different criteria.

My criteriae always have been: Has to listen to at least one of the same music genres as we do, we can talk for hours without getting tired, and endure my infodumping (or know how to stop it without being offensive or whatever).

Seems not much, but its actually quite a lot.

Show threadmeshe the neurotypical catDec 19, 2022

@ratcatcher @ginsterbusch @Pxrpleberry @actuallyautistic 20 years into our relationship my wife and I both realized we’re autistic and ADHD.

It explains a lot about our relationship and challenges we’ve faced, though I’m now starting to think we need a NT personal assistant to actually get certain things done 🤣

As we’ve been figuring out our combined weak areas we’ve been sharing that with my mom whom we share a house with and she’s offered to help in those areas.