InkieNov 30, 2022
Richard Littler

I popped over to #LinkedIn. Frightening. Tanned, toothy bio pics. Long threads of people talking about 'unleashing potential', 'mindsets of power', 'vitality coaching', 'workplace superpowers', 'freeing your energyforce in only 4mins per day,' and one trite cliché after another, 'no i in team,' etc. Seriously, it's like a cult meeting.

Edit: I just noticed that one person lists their current job as 'Chief Inspirer and Ambition-Fulfiller'.
I think I just did a little sick in my mouth.

Nov 30, 2022 at 1:54pmWeb
Show thread@Lee_in_IowaNov 30, 2022
@Richard_Littler And our most promising young people are over there trying to impress some older, tanner, toothier Linker-Inner to hire them.
Show threadPaul BrettNov 30, 2022
@Richard_Littler
Yes, I only use it to have a method of connecting to people I used to work with. I don't connect with people I've never met. And I don't subscribe to any feeds.
Show threadAnton NewcombeNov 30, 2022
@Richard_Littler "i'm going to 'unleash the fucking shit out of your potential".
Show threadElizaNov 30, 2022
@Richard_Littler It’s the worst social media site
Show threadEmmaDingleNov 30, 2022

@Richard_Littler don't forget your "dynamic synergies" 🤭

It's a very peculiar place.

Show threadTerje FjeldeNov 30, 2022
@Richard_Littler I presented your description to DALL-E.
Show threadRichard LittlerNov 30, 2022
@terjefjelde That's about right
Show threadSteampunk_ProfNov 30, 2022
@Richard_Littler
As some Scarfolk document somewhere says "There's no I in team, but lots of meat!"
Show threadKatjaNov 30, 2022
@Richard_Littler Also, everyone over there is always "thrilled" about everything. Must be exhausting.
Show threadrhizomeNov 30, 2022
@Zwieblein @Richard_Littler it's gotta deplete some neurochemical or another eventually
Show threadNSKENov 30, 2022
@Richard_Littler one of the rules there is the profile picture has to be from at least ten years ago. Which is just as well because I still had teeth then.
Show threadTunedLoopLabsNov 30, 2022
@Richard_Littler 😂 🤣 We are back in the 1700s where impostors, palm readers, alchemists, fortune tellers, and all sorts of charlatans abound everywhere thanks to social media. #LinkedIn #Impostors
Show threadEllis PritchardNov 30, 2022
@Richard_Littler There's a joke "AI viral post generator" for LinkedIn, although I think it struggles to match the insane level of cringe that mere humans can achieve: https://viralpostgenerator.taplio.com/
Show threadUna McCormackNov 30, 2022
@Richard_Littler Ripe for parody though.
Show threadJohn ParkerNov 30, 2022

@Richard_Littler I've heard they eat souls there.

🤔

Show threadUnprecedented 2023Nov 30, 2022
@Richard_Littler 😂😂
Show threadAdrian HNov 30, 2022
@Richard_Littler
Pretty grim.
>I think I just did a little sick in my mouth.
Ambition fulfilled?
Show threadCatherineNov 30, 2022
@Richard_Littler I'd never used it until I started a new role at the beginning of the year. It was being heavily recommended at work for networking in my new role, so I dutifully and optimistically signed up, started to have a look around - and then backed very slowly and very silently away, hoping no-one would see me...
Show threadJosje TooropNov 30, 2022
@Eat_Read_Knit @Richard_Littler New role? Is role new talk for job description?
Show threadCatherineNov 30, 2022
@JosjeT That's pretty much what I was meaning, yes. In my case, different department but same employer.
Show threadMartin NutbeemNov 30, 2022
@Richard_Littler Recruitment agency staff need a social network too Richard.
Show thread| Éireann |Nov 30, 2022
@Richard_Littler Mine is currently "Textbook Rockstar", hope that's not too sick-making? 🤔 🥰
Show threadJorgeIbanezNov 30, 2022
@Richard_Littler 😂
Show threadFardels BearNov 30, 2022
@Richard_Littler They have 'Happiness Engineers' at #wordpress but at least they do solve specific problems. How happy you are about the result depends on the individual.
Show threadConor MahoodNov 30, 2022
@Richard_Littler In my job doing voiceovers I have several times recorded "corporate poetry" which reads like a supercut of LinkedIn clichés, it's horrifying.
Show threadConor MahoodNov 30, 2022
@Richard_Littler Also I just followed you for the second time, I clicked on you and it said I wasn't following, no idea why!
Show threadZinstonNov 30, 2022
@ConorMahood @Richard_Littler "corporate poetry". Love it.
Show threadConor MahoodNov 30, 2022
@zinston @Richard_Littler the direction is always something like
"We really need you to capture the sense of wonder in the words"
Show threadLisa SassNov 30, 2022
@ConorMahood @Richard_Littler You just reminded me of a McSweeney’s classic, “I Am the Orson Welles of PowerPoint”
https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/i-am-the-orson-welles-of-powerpoint
I am the Orson Welles of Powerpoint

I am the Orson Welles of PowerPoint 2010. Next slide. I don’t let marketing get in the way of a potential masterpiece. You see I don’t create mere ...

McSweeney's Internet Tendency
Show threadConor MahoodNov 30, 2022
@LK_Sass @Richard_Littler oh wow thank you, that was hilarious! And uncomfortably familiar
Show threadjosh dobbinNov 30, 2022
@Richard_Littler I don't *begrudge* these kind of people their existence &approach on what to do with the finite number of heartbeats we are issued and limited time we get to experience and apprehend the universe...I mean, we're all just making it up as we go along and whistling past the graveyard and all that.
but dear sweet titty-fucking Christ, do they make me want to run away and go live on a mountain and never, ever be stuck on an elevator or at a wedding guest-table with any one of them.
Show threadErotic Mythology ✊Nov 30, 2022
@Richard_Littler I was a sales trainer in my other life and the reason I am not any more is the amount of bullshit in the business training industry. It's more important to have something easy and catchy to teach than something thoroughly researched.
Show threadCarol DNov 30, 2022
@Richard_Littler I hate to link to anything birdsite these days but haven't found this one on Mastodon yet... https://twitter.com/StateOfLinkedIn?t=HYlYwpbxa4d-T9S5hQgl8A&s=09
The State of LinkedIn (@StateOfLinkedIn) / Twitter

LinkedIn is a breeding ground for lies & brown-nosing. Exposing the worst. We are in no way associated with LinkedIn.

Twitter
Show threadMicheleNov 30, 2022
@Richard_Littler 🤮
Show thread(((Pro-choice Morgana)))Nov 30, 2022
@Richard_Littler I've been a life and business coach for over 28 years, and I can't stand LinkedIn. The desperation (and the DMs) are exhausting.
Show threadBeameup ScottyNov 30, 2022
@Richard_Littler
We live an alternative life on a farm...we were approached by one of those "LinkedIn" types who asked if we were interested in setting up a "re-wilding" retreat for executives...
Show threadNorthBelleNov 30, 2022
@Richard_Littler There's a lot of plastic on LinkedIn.
Show threadCharlieNov 30, 2022
@Richard_Littler it’s the site for bullshitters and two dimensional beings.
Show threadNo NineNov 30, 2022
@Richard_Littler I received a disciplinary note when I said in a post that Russia is a terrorist country. I decided to leave my profile up but will no longer engage
Show threadJanet SmithNov 30, 2022
@Richard_Littler people I work with are always asking to connect, but I have to tell them I never talk about work on LinkedIn. Work is just what pays the bills not what interests me 🤣
Show threadNullptrNov 30, 2022
@Richard_Littler linkedin is the home of toxic positivity
Show threadKickstinkNov 30, 2022
@Richard_Littler
Show threadMischaMusicNov 30, 2022
@Richard_Littler there are no people on linkedin, there are personas. but very good and very real description 🤣
Show threadMuseum of Forward PlanningNov 30, 2022

@Richard_Littler personally we are huge fans of #LuckedOut - the storytelling is amazing, the fiction and fantasy elements are unreal.

All these people who have amazing cappuccinos that provoke thought.

We can only aspire

Show threadDeborah RoseNov 30, 2022
@Richard_Littler Except if you follow John Gorman.
Show threadsonicJazzMonkeyNov 30, 2022
@Richard_Littler my favourite was a colleague who labelled himself as a “Data Scientist” ! Data isn’t a science !!
Show threadShomilaNov 30, 2022
@Richard_Littler Someone please hurry up and build a fediverse alternative for professional networking and recruiting - or is it this now?
Show threadAmy WesterveltNov 30, 2022
@Richard_Littler words I associate with LinkedIn include "chief storyteller" and "ping" 🤮
Show threadBrianNov 30, 2022
@Richard_Littler At some point in my career I felt pressured to set up a #LinkedIn account. I never log into it. I would have completely forgotten it's existence if not for the occasional "Congratulate Nancy on 14 years at the soul-sucking cube farm!" emails.
Show threadDennis JernbergNov 30, 2022
@Richard_Littler Reading this thread I get the distinct uncanny impression that EST never died but mutated into a social media platform filled with exactly the kind of people who used to get into EST...
Show threadScruff(I didn't vote for this)Nov 30, 2022
@Richard_Littler I once had a boss who's favourite line was 'there's no i in team'. They got most upset when I pointed out the letters m & e were there and why the fcuk was it always me?
Show threadvelixiousNov 30, 2022
@Richard_Littler I was just saying today that my LinkedIn feed was turning into a hot mess !!!
Show threadBongmasterDec 1, 2022
@Richard_Littler do they not know that 'pretentious prick' isnt an actual job?
Show threadAnon YmousDec 1, 2022

@Richard_Littler

LinkedIn used to be less pretentious. I used to be a fan - even owned stock.

Until recently I was not subject to the constant stream of invitations to be the ideal regional sales manager for one international (Chinese) manufacturer or another.

LinkedIn has become spammy.

Show threadAnon YmousDec 1, 2022
@Richard_Littler
Show threadwakingrufusDec 1, 2022
@Richard_Littler
It is truly a cursed place.
Show threadEric the half-a-beeDec 1, 2022
@Richard_Littler For a while I had that I was employed as a Trainee Traffic Bollard, and a Chinese company contacted me with details of their range.
Show threadCorneliusDec 1, 2022
@Richard_Littler agree! Scrolling through #linkedIn makes me feel sick, too.