snake boy 🐍
Hey fediverse has anyone out there got any experience with fires and/or burning? My kitchen is currently engulfed in flames and from everything I've read that's generally a pretty bad thing. I really need some help or advice about this. I've been trying to inhale all the smoke myself to stop it ruining my furniture but there's just too much and it's actually pretty hot.
Boosts would be appreciated, this might be a long shot but I'm sure someone else out there has had this problem too.
Apr 25, 2019 at 7:39amWeb
Show threadOliviaApr 25, 2019
@snakeboy
try blowing the smoke out the window
Show threadRev.Dr. Nikolai KingsleyApr 25, 2019

@snakeboy

1: shut off the power at the mains

2: is your bladder full? it's gonna need to be for step 3.

3: pee on everything

Show threadsnake boy 🐍Apr 25, 2019
@Nikolai_Kingsley thank you so much!!! I'm chugging water as we speak
Show threadA dead bodyApr 25, 2019

@snakeboy

You're supposed to use a fire extingiusher, but those are stored in the Kitchen.

Show threadsnake boy 🐍Apr 25, 2019
@Roxxie_Riot Ah, yes it does appear to also be on fire
Show threadFresh OatsApr 25, 2019
@snakeboy Have you tried essential oils? Lavender works wonders for uncontrolled blazes.
Show threadsnake boy 🐍Apr 25, 2019
@inkblot_sandwiches ok I've drank some of that but nothing seems to be happening yet...
Show threadFresh OatsApr 25, 2019
@snakeboy You gotta believe harder
Show threadVertigoAug 4, 2020
@inkblot_sandwiches @snakeboy Thoughts and flares.
Show threadSleepy Little FluffApr 25, 2019
@snakeboy you need to remove part of the fire triangle of heat/fuel/oxygen. Open both the freezer and refrigerator doors to take away the heat. Hold down the ice dispenser lever if your fridge has one.
Show threadsnake boy 🐍Apr 25, 2019
@LilFluff The fridge is a bit too on fire right now to get to I'm afraid :/
Show threadSleepy Little FluffApr 25, 2019
@snakeboy Oh. Oh dear. Have you made a recent backup of the kitchen?
Show threadHaelwenn /элвэн/ Apr 25, 2019
@snakeboy Probably should install ​ on the toasters and fridge.
Show threadrhapsodosApr 25, 2019
@snakeboy use that fire to do some nice BBQ at least all those flames will not be in vain
Show threadsnake boy 🐍Apr 25, 2019
@rhapsodos all my food I'd like to barbecue is one fire already in the kitchen though D:
Show threadElfLordApr 25, 2019
@snakeboy 🏆
Show threadsnake boy 🐍Apr 25, 2019
@ElfLord f-f-for me??
Show threadElfLordApr 25, 2019
@snakeboy Absolutely. This toot is a work of ART.
Show threadSkeleton Apr 25, 2019
@snakeboy could you link to your jurisdiction's building codes? It's impossible to diagnose without more information. Feel free to pastebin.
Show threadAlex Beefgnaw 🍖Apr 25, 2019
@snakeboy WELL ACTUALLY it's not fair to say that's a "pretty bad thing." Us *responsible* match and lighter and blowtorch owners know how to handle fire without burning our houses down. And you "fire control" nuts can pry my matches from my gently smoldering blackened hands.
Show threadGarr,  Behemoth JerkApr 25, 2019
@snakeboy You're gonna have to jack into the cyberworld and find where BurnerMan.EXE is hiding and kick his ass. I hope your netnavi isn't on fire too, good luck
Show threadJ DavisApr 25, 2019

I think you can drown the fire with grease. Any kind will do. But the thickness of the liquid is what makes it so effective at drowning the flames.

Try it and report back, please!

@snakeboy

Show threadMal ZedongMay 9, 2019

@snakeboy

@it

Show threadMontessori Space Programme 🛸May 9, 2019
@snakeboy Do you still have the manual? If not, I would suggest downloading it from the manufacturer's website. That might help you identify the cause of the fire. Good luck.
Show thread⚜️Desitively⚜️ ♾️May 9, 2019
@snakeboy Slather yourself in bacon grease and throw yourself onto the flames.
Show threadplutos flower 🌱May 9, 2019
@snakeboy no joke one time we caught some stove top popcorn on fire and I was panicking so hard I just googled “fire”
Show threadIron RaptorMay 9, 2019
@snakeboy
Reduce the heat, if you can, pour baking soda over the fire. DO NOT USE WATER IF IT'S A GREASE / ELECTRICAL FIRE.
Show threadJames CheesemanMay 9, 2019
@snakeboy sorry for the late reply. have you tried water
Show threadPolly KraisusMay 9, 2019
@snakeboy gee man sorry I don't know.... Have you tried turning it off and on again?
Show threadMaClarkMay 9, 2019
@snakeboy
Try a fire extinguisher
Show threadBleak GreyMay 9, 2019
@snakeboy I'm so sorry to hear this. Have you tried handing it an eviction notice? Sue its hot particle ass off your lawful property.
Show threadTanatoesMay 9, 2019
@snakeboy @Gargron These kinda of fires are a natural occurrence and only very rarely result in loss of life. Your body is the results of years of evolution and is designed to resist the toxins that result from the flames. The important thing to remember is to resist giving in to ‘Big Fire Department.’ Keep breathing and maybe look into holistic fire prevention techniques. #snark
Show threadraeMay 10, 2019
@snakeboy ZOMG I am a burning expert! Throw a little bit of every kind of liquid you have in the house on the fire until you find which one smells best and then throw all of that on the fire. That way your furniture will be less gross.
Show threadMagister EndomainMay 10, 2019

@snakeboy

It makes sense that Mastodon's dril would be Millhouse.

Show threadReal Changeling 🏴May 10, 2019
@snakeboy This could easily be a metaphor for capitalism
Show threadNixfreakMay 10, 2019
@snakeboy #wtf
Show threadtomupomMay 10, 2019
@snakeboy
Bumping this so someone can help you out with your problem
Show threadElfLordMay 10, 2019
@snakeboy 40 boosts. I'm so proud I could weep...
Show threadsnake boy 🐍May 10, 2019
@ElfLord it's my most popular post so far, I've peaked. Thinking about putting this on any future job applications
Show threadElfLordMay 10, 2019
@snakeboy If I could legally have you work for me and your resume just had that toot in it, I don't care what your other qualifications are. You're hired.
Show threadneil 🍄May 11, 2019
@snakeboy use Windows
Show threadBearishMay 24, 2019
@snakeboy drink the fire
Show threadFrodo Logins - sysadminMay 24, 2019
@snakeboy mindfulness?
Show threadsnake boy 🐍May 24, 2019
@CoughingSound I've been very mindful of the fire but it's been a month now and that's got me nowhere I'm afraid
Show threadOxı̇Aug 4, 2020
@snakeboy Don't worry. Just think positive thoughts and the Universe will help you.
Show threadschmorpAug 4, 2020
@snakeboy one of the appliances probably has a support phone number on the back, I'd try calling one of those
Show threadDoc Edward Morbius ⭕​Aug 4, 2020
@snakeboy Fire is a natural process. Your kitchen is just realligning its chi.
Show threadlertsenemAug 4, 2020
@snakeboy You should try homeopathy! Grab some fire and dilute in 10×10 parts of water, then drink it. Your problem should be solved!
Show threadRuss SharekAug 5, 2020

@snakeboy

Have you tried turning off the fire and turning it back on again?

Show threadmeejahAug 5, 2020
@snakeboy I think this happened to a friend of my cousin .. I believe they called some kind of "fire support" hotline? I don't recall the name however...
Show threadomniAug 5, 2020
@snakeboy
I need to recreate your situation in order to help you troubleshoot it. What series of actions and events led up to this? If we could figure out the root cause of this, perhaps that would be a parameter to adjust. Flames are pretty cool too. As is inhaling smoke and this is probably why you feel hot, because you are. Thinking a bit more about this I start to wonder where you got the impression that any of this would be bad in any way. Please guide me through how you did it though.