@arcadetoken oh no, it's not unusual and it's not toxic, just the opposite.

What you're talking about is open communication.

What you're talking about is the same thing I always try to do during interpersonal conflict.

See, I'm a computer #programmer by trade, an engineer.

And, like #Hemmer from #StarTrek: #StrangeNewWorlds, I see it as my role in life, my "calling", if you will, to "Fix that which is broken".

That applies to both myself inside and problems external to me, including other people.

The world is filled with problems to solve.

When I see a problem presented before me, I am COMPELLED to solve it, much like an #OCD person is compelled to do... whatever it is that they are compelled to do.

The problem is that while, yes, other people ARE problems to solve... we all have our own internal histories and traumas that have shaped who we are.

For many of us, and perhaps it's just a part of the #humancondition, every part of us wants to FIGHT change, to even fight improvement.

It might possibly be a part of our mental #homeostasis, it might be #identity self-preservation, but some part of us wants us to stay the same, to make no changes. Even for the better.

So, when I reach out to try to help "fix" people, the same way I try to improve myself EVERY damn day of my life, they often and usually respond with hesitance, suspicion, and sometimes outright hostility.

I've learned that people can only change when they WANT to change. So all you can do is hold out the olive branch of your unique perspective, and let them know that you are there IF they want to talk and help sort out their issues, and improve themselves.

But you can't force it on people. They have to want it for themselves.

And that's the biggest and toughest thing that I've had to learn since I was diagnosed with #aspergers twenty years ago, is that you can't "fix" everyone... most people don't WANT to be fixed.

So, you just have to show compassion, listen to them, and wait for a moment to give a tiny bit of advice here and there to try to steer in the direction that you think would benefit them the best.

And then... give them space. You can only show them the door, THEY are the ones that have to walk through it.

...is that enough hackneyed metaphors for you? 😂