Commemorative plaque

Change happens at a glacial pace. But speed has nothing to do with hope. And hope is an unfamiliar feeling to me.

A little under 12 months ago I took a wildcard chance, and I now have to opportunity to relive the past 25 years all over again… and do everything wrong, since I got it right the first time around. As I’ve said once before, if I want to fix my life, I need to ruin it first.

To me dreams are just goals I haven’t worked on achieving yet, or I have accepted as unattainable. So now that I have achieved everything I intended to, the list is empty. Maybe that part of me that never believed in dreams has, finally, died. It’s time to renegotiate my future and prepare a new list, one that may be a little more ephemeral than the previous.

Jump headfirst into the deepest waters. In the beginning it’s hard to stay afloat but then I learn to calm down; to tame the panic; to swim – until I eventually reach the other shore. Then the water is no longer scary to me.

For the 26th time.

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