Our day together thwarted and stress of upcoming family court

The weather is lovely and I was excited to spend our first proper outside day together this year. There is buzz around, people are wearing their summer clothes and busy making their way to see loved ones.

I thought I was lucky that the train strikes had been called off, the route went from rail replacements and alternatives to the most straightforwa rd normal route. This morning, with a little dread, I saw the trains could be disrupted but I expected this would mean, at worst, I would take the 2 hour rail replacement route.

I’ve come to terms that to see you it can include over 4 hours of the day travelling, barely less than the time I actually get to see you. ‘Quality time’, it is not.

Sadly, in the end the direct route wasn’t running and the rail replacement route’s trains were cancelled due to lack of staff.

I went across stations dragging the buggy and bag with your items, trying to find a route. As time went on the cancellations continued, defeated, I decided to head back home.

It’s still the morning but I feel exhausted. I can’t make sense how this is going to work for the future. It’s like all the forces are against me when all I want is to be a meaningful part of your life and kiss your lovely little head.

A double slap in my face

The reason I was travelling to see you on a Saturday instead of a Sunday was because a while back I had agreed to your mum’s request to swap days to accommodate Mother’s Day. I then realised that strikes would make it difficult because rail replacements aren’t organised during strikes, so I asked your mum to swap back otherwise it would be a very difficult journey for me.

With no remorse she refused, instead insisting that I should’ve known. I’m stupid for expecting else from her.

A lot of the strikes are called off last minute but I didn’t expect that services would still be a mess, as some staff didn’t go to work and trains would be cancelled anyway. Unlike with rail works, when there are cancellations, there are no rail replacements either.

The stress of court

Court is this Friday and your mum has continued to wear down opportunities for us to connect.

She planned the outcome she wanted, she’s keeping us apart and making it as difficult as possible for us to have a relationship.

I won’t give up because although I feel like the unluckiest person in the world right now, at the same time I feel the luckiest because you exist. I think about your infinite beauty, tenderness and I’m intrigued about everything about you.

Listen through the podcast

https://open.spotify.com/episode/1wH83ftot7qOWUfcOCoxrw?si=ctonJ-faSJ-laPEhlRDamg

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Browsing vintage markets and breweries in the spring warmth

I still get a little nervous in anticipation of our time together but the enjoyment of cuddles and learning more about you is the best feeling.

I’m continuing to focus on having time at home so you feel comfortable when you first stay overnight with me.

A great poser

Your outfit looked really cute so I thought I’d let you jump on the bed so we could do a little photoshoot.

Circles and stabs

I organised a drawing activity for you to show off your artistic skills. After lots of circles and stabs you decided to draw on the floor. Your laugh showed you were knowingly being naughty. I’ll have to do some fatherly discipline soon but I’m sure you’ll be well behaved. I can tell you’re a very compassionate sweetheart.

Spring and warmer days

After lunch, I wanted you to get a decent nap so we went for walkies around the breweries starting with Social Pub which had a vintage market on. You didn’t see much because you dozed off instantly when we left home. We continued to Lake Lane where Greenlake Taproom had a mini vintage market too, plus food.

While I waited for you to wake up, I had a lager from Games Brew. We sat next to a family together on a casual day out. I smiled at them and their diddi. I felt jealous we don’t have a family like theirs.

I positioned your buggy so you would wake up to the sight of their dog. As you slowly blinked awake, the dog was pleased to have your attention!

The weather is getting much nicer and it was surprising to relax for a bit in a t-shirt. I took off a few of your layers and we chilled.

It’s exciting to think about the warmer days we’ll have together and the comfort a few extra degrees gives us

Marathon, this time next week

Every moment together is precious and I had hoped with plenty of notice, your mum would be reasonable and switch from Sunday to Saturday – clearly it was too much to expect as she refused.

With regret, next week I won’t be able to see you. I’ll be running for hours with too much time to think about us and regretting not having our tiny amount of time together.

Listen through the podcast

#dad #dadLife #daddyDaughterRelationship #daughter #daughters #family #familyCourt #familyTime #fatherSRights #fatherhood #girls #heartbreak #marathonTraining #missingYou #myGirl #parentalAlienation #parenting #springIsComing #toddler #toddlerArtsAndCrafts #warmerWeather