An RCMP spokesperson has stated that the officer who arrested a strident associate of Rouble News has been placed on sick leave pending treatment for symptoms of possibly contracting rabies during the arrest.

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Federal Conservasaur leader Putrid Pooleaver demands formal audit of further explosive evidence of corruption, blames Prime Minister for the disappearance of the 29th day of February.

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Federal Conservasaur leader Putrid Pooleaver reportedly suprised that the Rouleau Commission report needed more than 270 pages of evidence and careful deliberation to say "Everything is Justin's fault amiright?!!!"

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Federal Conservasaur leader Putrid Pooleaver continued this week to apply his strategy of uniting Canadian voters by blaming PM Justin Turtledove for anything that could possibly be wrong anywhere in the country, including corked wine, colicky babies, and low air pressure in automobile tires.

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