Glossary for Writers Producing Spicy Content
Here we’re going to cover a lot of terminology that might be helpful not only in navigating the D-Scripts on this site in regards to sex and romance, but in your books as well.
I should note this is not a thorough breakdown of all terms, and I’ll likely be adding to it as time progresses.
OBVIOUS FOREWARNING: This D-Script contains descriptions of sexual topics. While it’s important all people who are interested in sex and who are going to write sex know this information, be aware that some of this information may not be for everyone.
Related D-Scripts
ABSTINENCE
The choice to refrain from some or all sexual activities. This decision can be temporary or long-term and may be influenced by personal, cultural, or religious beliefs.
AFTERCARE
Just like with any other part of an intimate encounter, aftercare should be talked about so partners understand what other people need after an encounter. So, what is aftercare? Aftercare can be talking about a scene to discuss likes and dislikes, talking about emotions and checking in to make sure the other person is okay, cuddling, spending quiet time together or apart, caring for bruising or other injuries, hydrating and snacking, or words of affirmation.
AFTERGLOW
The lingering feelings of pleasure, connection, or euphoria following a sexual or kink experience. Recognizing and cherishing the afterglow can enhance intimacy between partners
ASEXUALITY
A sexual orientation characterized by a lack of sexual attraction to others. Asexual individuals may still engage in romantic relationships and experience emotional intimacy.
BAREBACKING
Engaging in penetrative sex without the use of condoms. While some find it more intimate, it’s important to consider the risks of sexually transmitted infections and practice safe sex when necessary.
BDSM
(Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism)
BDSM encompasses a wide spectrum of consensual sexual practices that involve power exchange, roleplaying, and the consensual exploration of physical or psychological sensations. All aspects of BDSM revolve around mutual trust, safety, and consent. As communication is vital for this, boundaries should be established early and before any play is initiated. Neither the person on the giving or receiving end should ever be pressured to move past their boundaries.
Bondage: A part of power play that involves the desire to restrain someone or be restrained by someone. This usually involves sexual activity, but some people are simply into the art of it.
Discipline: When a person in the dominant role sets rules for those in a submissive role and enforces them through punishments. You may automatically think something like spanking, but the range of what discipline is can be far reaching and very creative. Discipline does not break consent. Certain types of submissives are more likely to break rules than others but not consent. Discipline also enacts rewards for good behaviour.
Sadism: Taking sexual pleasure from inflicting pain on others.
Masochism: The counterpart of sadism, this is taking sexual pleasure from having pain inflicted.
BI-SEXUAL
An individual who experiences sexual, romantic, or emotional attraction to more than one gender. Bisexuality encompasses a range of attractions and doesn’t necessarily imply equal attraction to all genders.
BOUNDARIES
Personal limits that define acceptable behaviours and interactions within relationships. Establishing and respecting boundaries is crucial for healthy and consensual dynamics.
CISGENDER
A cisgender person is someone whose gender identity aligns with the sex they were assigned at birth. For instance, an individual assigned female at birth who identifies as a woman is cisgender. The term “cis” comes from Latin, meaning “on this side of,” contrasting with “trans,” meaning “across” or “on the other side of.”
COERCION (Sexual)
The act of pressuring or manipulating someone into sexual activity against their will. Coercion undermines consent and can take many forms, including emotional manipulation and threats.
CONSENT
Consent is the cornerstone of ethical and respectful interactions, especially when writing about intimate topics. It refers to the explicit, enthusiastic, and ongoing agreement between all parties involved in any form of intimate or sexual activity. For writers, accurately portraying consent is not only a moral imperative but also essential in creating authentic, relatable characters and storylines. Remember, what you put to paper, some people will take as normal or as justification, especially when writing for younger audiences.
It’s important to note that we’re talking about all involved parties. That means, if the act is public sex or degradation, the public is not consenting. If acts are happening beside someone who is asleep, unless previously discussed and agreed upon, that sleeping person has not consented to be there for that. If a person is unconscious, under the influence of substances, in mental distress, has certain mental disorders or development concerns, or is not of age, they are also not able to consent. It is grossly unethical to involve parties that cannot consent in intimate activities.
CUCKHOLDING
A fetish where one partner, typically a man, derives pleasure from watching or knowing their partner is having sex with someone else. It often involves elements of humiliation, dominance, and submission.
CUCKQUEANING
The female counterpart to cuckolding, where a woman derives pleasure from her partner engaging in sexual activities with others
CYBERSEX
Sexual activity conducted via the internet, involving the exchange of erotic messages, images, or videos. It can include sexting, video calls, or role-playing in chat rooms.
DEMISEXUAL
A person who experiences sexual attraction only after forming a strong emotional connection with someone. Demisexuality falls under the asexual spectrum and highlights the importance of emotional bonds in sexual attraction.
DOM (Dominant)
The person or people that are in control of what’s happening in a scene or relationship. They guide the encounter much like a storyteller. Even if play does not have bondage, discipline, sadism, or masochism, it still falls under the umbrella of BDSM.
We have a D-Script regarding Dom types!
EDGING
A sexual technique that involves bringing oneself or a partner to the brink of orgasm and then intentionally reducing or stopping stimulation to delay climax. This process can be repeated multiple times before finally allowing orgasm, often resulting in heightened pleasure and more intense orgasms due to the prolonged buildup of arousal. Edging can be practiced during solo or partnered activities and is sometimes used as a method to enhance sexual stamina or address premature ejaculation.
EDGEPLAY
Activities that involve a higher level of risk, whether physical or psychological. Examples include knife play or breath play. Due to their nature, edgeplay requires thorough negotiation and trust.
EXHIBITIONISM
Deriving sexual pleasure from exposing oneself or performing sexual acts in front of others, often in consensual and controlled environments.
FETISH
A sexual fixation on a specific object, body part, or act that is often essential for arousal or satisfaction. For example, someone might have a foot fetish or a latex fetish.
FLIRTING
A social behavior involving verbal and non-verbal cues to express interest in a deeper relationship, often romantic or sexual. It includes actions like playful teasing, compliments, and subtle touches, serving as a way to gauge mutual attraction and build rapport.Wikipedia
FOREPLAY
Sexual activities that precede intercourse, such as kissing, touching, and oral sex. Foreplay enhances arousal and intimacy between partners.
GAY
Typically refers to a man who is emotionally, romantically, or sexually attracted to other men. However, some women and non-binary individuals also use this term to describe their same-gender attractions.
GENDER EXPRESSION
The external presentation of one’s gender identity, often expressed through behaviour, clothing, hairstyle, voice, and body characteristics. This expression may or may not conform to societal expectations.
GENDER DYSPHORIA
A psychological condition where a person experiences discomfort or distress because their gender identity differs from their sex assigned at birth. Support and medical interventions can help alleviate this distress.
GENDER IDENTITY
A person’s internal understanding and experience of their own gender, which may or may not align with the sex assigned at birth. Examples include cisgender, transgender, non-binary, and genderqueer.
GENDERQUEER
Genderqueer is a term used by individuals who reject conventional gender distinctions. They may identify as both male and female, neither, or fall outside these categories altogether. Genderqueer people often challenge societal norms related to gender roles and expressions, embracing a fluid or non-conforming identity
GROUP SEX
Sexual activity involving more than two participants. This can include threesomes, orgies, or swinger parties, and requires clear communication and consent among all parties
HARASSMENT (Sexual)
Unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favours, or other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature that can create a hostile or offensive environment.
HARD LIMIT
Activities or topics that an individual absolutely refuses to engage in. These are non-negotiable boundaries that must be respected at all times.
See also soft limit
HETEROSEXUAL
An individual who is emotionally, romantically, or sexually attracted to people of the opposite gender. Commonly referred to as “straight.”
IMPACT PLAY
Pretty straight forward on this one. This would be spanking, whips, paddles, caning, slapping, etc.
INNUENDO
An innuendo is an indirect or suggestive remark that implies something, often of a sexual nature, without stating it explicitly. It’s a form of communication that relies on double meanings and is commonly used in flirtation to add a layer of intrigue and playfulness
KINK
A broad term referring to sexual interests or behaviours that fall outside of what’s traditionally considered “vanilla” or conventional. Kinks can range from mild to intense and are not inherently tied to BDSM.
LESBIAN
A woman who is emotionally, romantically, or sexually attracted to other women. Some non-binary individuals who feel a connection to womanhood also identify with this term.
MANUAL SEX
Manual sex refers to using hands or fingers to stimulate a partner’s genitals or anus. Examples include:
- Anal Fingering: Manual stimulation of the anus.
- Fingering: Manual stimulation of the vagina or vulva.
- Handjob: Manual stimulation of the penis.
MASTURBATION
The act of stimulating one’s own body, typically the genitals, for sexual pleasure. It’s a normal and healthy sexual activity that can help individuals understand their own sexual preferences and responses. Also know as self-pleasuring.
MONOGAMY
A relationship structure where an individual has only one sexual or romantic partner at a time. Monogamy can be lifelong or serial, with individuals engaging in one exclusive relationship after another.
NEGOTIATION
The discussion between partners to establish boundaries, desires, limits, and safewords before engaging in any scene or sexual activity. Effective negotiation ensures safety and mutual satisfaction.
NON-BINARY
A non-binary person does not identify exclusively as male or female. Their gender identity exists outside the traditional binary framework. Non-binary individuals may feel they embody aspects of both genders, neither, or fluctuate between genders.
NON-MONOGAMY
Relationship structures that allow for multiple sexual or romantic partners simultaneously, with the knowledge and consent of all parties involved. Forms include polyamory, open relationships, and swinging.
NON-PENETRATIVE SEX (Outercourse)
Non-penetrative sex, or outercourse, encompasses sexual activities that do not involve penetration. These can include:Verywell Health+3Wikipedia+3Wikipedia+3
- Tribadism: Genital-to-genital rubbing, commonly practiced among vulva-owning partners.
- Mutual Masturbation: Partners stimulating themselves or each other without penetration.
- Grinding (Dry Humping): Rubbing bodies together, often clothed, to achieve sexual arousal.
- Sensual Massage: Massaging a partner’s body in a sexually stimulating manner.
OPEN RELATIONSHIP
A type of consensual non-monogamy where partners agree that they may have sexual relationships with others outside their primary relationship. Emotional exclusivity may or may not be maintained.
ORAL SEX
Oral sex involves using the mouth, lips, or tongue to stimulate a partner’s genitals or anus. Types include:
- Anilingus: Oral stimulation of the anus.
- Fellatio: Oral stimulation of the penis.
- Cunnilingus: Oral stimulation of the vulva and clitoris.
ORGASM
The peak of sexual pleasure, characterized by intense sensations and muscle contractions. Orgasms can vary greatly among individuals and are not the sole indicator of a satisfying sexual experience.
Orgasm control encompasses various practices aimed at regulating the timing of orgasm. This can include delaying, denying, or forcing orgasm, and is often used to intensify sexual experiences or explore power dynamics within a relationship. Techniques under this umbrella, such as edging, can be employed for personal pleasure or as part of consensual BDSM activities.
A ruined orgasm occurs when stimulation is altered or ceased at the point of climax, resulting in an orgasm that is less satisfying or incomplete. This technique is sometimes used in BDSM play to exert control over a partner’s pleasure or as a form of erotic humiliation.
ORGY
A gathering involving multiple people engaging in sexual activities simultaneously. Orgies can be spontaneous or organized events, emphasizing consensual participation and safe practices.
PANSEXUALITY(PAN)
A sexual orientation where an individual is attracted to others regardless of their gender identity or biological sex. Pansexual people are open to relationships with individuals across the gender spectrum.
PEGGING
A sexual act where a woman penetrates a man’s anus with a strap-on dildo. This practice can explore power dynamics, prostate stimulation, or simply be a pleasurable experience for both partners.
PENETRATIVE SEX
Penetrative sex involves the insertion of a body part or object into a partner’s body. Common forms include:
- Vaginal Sex: Insertion of the penis into the vagina, often referred to as penile-vaginal intercourse.
- Anal Sex: Insertion of the penis into the anus.
- Digital Penetration: Use of fingers (digits) to penetrate the vagina or anus.
- Object Penetration: Use of sex toys or other objects to penetrate the vagina or anus.
POLYAMORY (POLY)
Polyamory is the practice of engaging in multiple romantic and/or sexual relationships simultaneously, with the informed consent of all parties involved. Unlike open relationships, which may focus primarily on sexual freedom, polyamory emphasizes emotional connections and the possibility of loving more than one person at a time. It’s a form of ethical non-monogamy that values transparency, communication, and mutual respect among all partners.
There are many types of polyamory, but we’re not going to get into them here.
PHONE SEX
Engaging in sexual conversations over the telephone to achieve arousal. It relies heavily on verbal communication, imagination, and can strengthen emotional intimacy between partners.
PLAY
A term used to describe consensual sexual or kink activities, often within a structured scene. Play can be physical, psychological, or a combination of both.
QUEER
An umbrella term for sexual and gender minorities who are not heterosexual or cisgender. While historically used as a slur, many have reclaimed “queer” as a positive identifier that embraces fluidity and inclusivity.
QUICKIE
A brief sexual encounter, typically spontaneous and without extensive foreplay. Quickies can be a way to maintain intimacy in busy schedules or add excitement to a relationship.
RIMMING
The act of orally stimulating the anus with the lips, tongue, or mouth. Often considered an intimate act, it requires attention to hygiene and mutual consent.
ROLEPLAY
A sexual activity where partners assume specific roles or scenarios to enhance arousal. Common themes include teacher/student, doctor/patient, or fantasy characters. It allows exploration of desires in a safe, consensual environment.
SAFE PHRASE
Like safe words, safe phrases are established before play. And, like safe words, they indicate someone involved wants something to stop. They might be used when someone involved wants it to be extra clear they want something to stop or slow down.
SAFE SIGN
Some play negates the ability to speak, such as the use of gags or in bondage situations. In these situations, rather than words, certain sounds or actions are used to indicate that the person gagged or restrained wants something to stop. For example, someone who is gagged with their hands bound, may stomp their foot three times (once could be easily construed as a muscle twitch or pain reaction that’s acceptable), or in a simple pattern. A safe sign might also be used when someone has problems expressing their needs in words. Tapping an arm, for example, may be easier for some people who have trouble advocating for themselves or may feel silly randomly blurting out “pineapple”.
NOTE: Unless discussed otherwise, the words “stop” and “no” put an immediate stop to what’s happening. A conversation should then take place to discuss what happened and establish boundaries. If the person who was performing an act that led to the other person to saying “stop”, “no”, or using a safe word becomes offended or starts using pressure, it’s not a safe situation. These are warning signs of abuse and potential grooming to guilt someone into ignoring their boundaries. Same goes for if they try to ignore the “stop”, “no”, safe word or similar.
SAFE WORD
Safe words are discussed before play. They’re words a person may not normally use that indicate they want something to stop. A variation on this may be a safe word used to notify a partner they’re feeling uncomfortable. For example, during intimate times, it doesn’t make sense for someone to randomly say “pineapple”, so “pineapple” can be taken as a previously discussed safe word. This is done as “stop” and “no” may be acceptable (previously discussed as such) parts of the play. Words like “ouch” are the same.
A safe word can end the scene entirely or just what’s happening.
SAFER SEX
Practices that reduce the risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and unintended pregnancies. This includes the use of condoms, dental dams, regular STI testing, and open communication with partners.
SCENE
A dom/sub scene is where people put on these roles for a short time, say an intimate encounter. As with a relationship, scenes respect boundaries, employ healthy communication, and change to those boundaries is allowed at any time.
SENSORY PLAY
This would be anything that might invoke the sense of touch. This could be wax (be careful some waxes burn like crazy), feathers, soft or rough fabrics, etc. This is often combined with bondage.
Sensory Deprivation: Blindfolds, ear plugs, special suits fall in this category.
SEXTING
The act of sending sexually explicit messages, photos, or videos via text or messaging apps. While it can enhance intimacy, it’s essential to consider privacy and consent.
SEXUAL ASSAULT
Any non-consensual sexual act or behaviour, ranging from unwanted touching to rape. It’s a serious violation of personal autonomy and is punishable by law.
SEXUAL FLUIDITY
The concept that sexual preferences and attractions can change over time and are not fixed. An individual’s sexual orientation may evolve based on experiences and personal growth.
SEXUAL HEALTH
A state of physical, emotional, mental, and social well-being in relation to sexuality. It encompasses safe sexual experiences, free from coercion, discrimination, and violence.
SEXUAL ORIENTATION
An individual’s enduring pattern of emotional, romantic, or sexual attraction to others. Common orientations include heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, pansexual, and asexual
SEXUAL TENSION
Sexual tension refers to the palpable, often unspoken, mutual desire between individuals that has not yet been acted upon. It’s characterized by lingering glances, flirtatious banter, and a charged atmosphere, creating an undercurrent of anticipation and excitement.
STI (Sexually Transmitted Infection)
Infections transmitted through sexual contact, including chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, HIV, and HPV. Regular testing and treatment are essential components of sexual health.
SOFT LIMIT
Activities that an individual is hesitant about or willing to explore under specific conditions. These require open communication and may evolve over time.
SUB (Submissive)
The submissive is a person who gives control to the dominant. They allow acts to be done to them, or follow direction to do things to the dom. It’s commonly said it’s truly the submissive that’s in control as the dominant is not free to do anything they want but must adhere to the boundaries of the submissive. Even if play does not have bondage, discipline, sadism, or masochism, it still falls under the umbrella of BDSM.
SWINGING
A form of consensual non-monogamy where committed couples engage in sexual activities with other couples or individuals, often in a social or party setting. Emotional attachment is typically discouraged.
SWITCH
A switch is someone who sometimes enjoys being dominant and other times enjoys being submissive. Even if play does not have bondage, discipline, sadism, or masochism, it still falls under the umbrella of BDSM.
TEASING
In a sexual context, teasing involves deliberately arousing or stimulating a partner—physically, verbally, or emotionally—without providing immediate gratification. This practice heightens anticipation and desire, often leading to more intense pleasure when release is eventually granted. Teasing can include light touches, suggestive language, or playful denial, and is commonly used to build sexual tension and enhance intimacy between partners.
TEASE AND DENIAL
A form of erotic play where one partner stimulates the other to a high level of arousal and then withdraws stimulation before orgasm occurs. This cycle can be repeated multiple times, building anticipation and enhancing the eventual release. It’s often used in BDSM contexts to explore control and submission dynamics.
THREESOME
A sexual encounter involving three people. Dynamics can vary, and it’s essential for all participants to communicate desires, boundaries, and expectations beforehand.
TOP / BOTTOM
In kink contexts, a “top” is the person performing an action (e.g., spanking), while the “bottom” is the recipient. These roles can be fluid and are not necessarily tied to dominance or submission.
TRANSGENDER
Transgender is an umbrella term for individuals whose gender identity differs from the sex they were assigned at birth. This includes trans men (assigned female at birth but identify as male), trans women (assigned male at birth but identify as female), and non-binary individuals. Being transgender is about one’s internal understanding of their gender, which may or may not involve medical or legal transitions.
TRANSITIONING
The process by which individuals change their physical appearance and/or social identity to align with their gender identity. This may include hormone therapy, surgery, name changes, and adopting new pronouns.
TWO-SPIRIT
A term used by some Indigenous North American cultures to describe a person who embodies both masculine and feminine spirits. Two-Spirit individuals often hold unique cultural and spiritual roles within their communities.
VANILLA
A term describing sexual activities that are conventional or lack kink elements. It’s not a derogatory term but rather a descriptor of preference.
VOYEURISM
Gaining sexual gratification from watching others engage in sexual activities. In consensual settings, this can occur in environments like play parties or through agreed-upon recordings.
Contribute to Descriptionary
Each D-Script can be dozens of hours of work, and we’re not at the point of being able to monetize the site without losing money. If you’re able to contribute even $5 to keeping my sanity intact until we can, it would be appreciated. I love helping people and am not going to stop, but … well, I think we all know what things are like right now!
Sharing this site also helps, if you can’t contribute financially. More traffic=closer to being able to support the site without donations.
SITE BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Disclaimer
SHONNA WHITE
Artist, Writer, Gamer, and GIANT GEEK
#Glossary #knowledgeIsPower #Sex #terminology