I related how my trip to SLC, in the middle of my Texas adventures, had the effect of making me recognize how incredibly safe I feel existing as my authentic, genderfuq self in Utah.

I hope I gave him food for thought, when I talked about how free I feel by ignoring the news. How I, as a person with masculine features, wearing makeup and feminizing accessories, feel powerful when I defy gender norms in public. My freedom takes their power away.

#TransPower
#Genderfuq
#SLC #Utah

2/2

A friend called today. We talked about many things, and something he said has been ringing through my head, since.

He was told "be safe out there" by a friendly ally, who noticed his presentation didn't match the name on his ID. Which had the effect of calling him out of stealth, in a public place, and made him feel very UNsafe.

He expressed surprise that I feel safe everywhere I go here in Utah.

#TransPower
#Genderfuq
#SLC #Utah

1/2

I have built a hardcore habit of Morning Pages; writing in my journal before I leave bed in the morning. A couple if months ago, I added Tarot cards to my morning ritual. I pull 3 cards; one each for Body, Mind, and Spirit.

Today, I haven't written in my journal yet. I wrote the above, and another about #GenderFuq. I was wondering, as I shuffled my deck, whether I have any actual skill at applying Tarot cards in my life when I read on my own, with only a few chosen references to guide me. (I've not attempted to read others' cards, yet.)

I also had a flashback while shuffling. When Matthew, my spiritual guide with a therapy degree, asked me a question about my connection with the "wise one" inside of me, during a hypnotherapy session in December. At the time, I thought I had no connection to inner wisdom, and I was very confused by the question. As I continued to shuffle, I realized that I do have a solid connection to my inner wisdom now.

And then I pulled these 3 cards, which felt so very congruent.

Judgement, from a sense of Body - tells me that I always get to make a fresh start, that renewal can happen any time. That I can choose Now to transform myself, and evolve into who I choose to be. This, Now, is a time of renewal. That my post was part of setting my intentions for how the Adventure goes. (And a reminder to set my intentions for the upcoming new moon deliberately.)

Knight of Wands, for my Spirit card - oooooh, did this one feel Big! This is the first time I've pulled The World, I only had a small sense of the meaning before now. I understand The World to be a card of connection and wholeness, alignment with myself and all that there is around me. Today it tells me to look around, and observe that I already have all that I need. That there is fun to be had on the path to the things I want, but that it is imperative to pause and celebrate what I have accomplished. To love everything I already have, as I make space for new beginnings.

As I approach the New Moon this weekend, I am reminded of my awakening 6 months ago, which aligned with Winter Solstice. Awakening means a lot of things to me, but the best memory is of the first moment I realized something was different - that I'd made a choice to see the world differently - and that there really was something different to be seen now. I thought at the time that this seeing things differently was a result of refusing to engage with my nightmares about anything that hadn't happened yet, and a result of having finally healed myself of old wounds (past trauma).

It took time to understand that I was also seeing magic. 🪄🔮🦄

In 2015, when I began my transition, several of the trans women I'd been around for the last few years thought I'd already transitioned (to femme). That was mind blowingly affirming.

After walking around with a masculine presentation for a decade plus, the situation has reversed.

Yesterday, at mushroom church, I shared a story about my Mom's reaction to my transition in 2019. After, 2 people said they didn't realize I'd transitioned yet. Implying they thought I was on a path to transition to femme.

This is peak gender fuqery. If I ever get to talk to my 16 yo self, I'll tell them we did it! We succeeded so well at androgyny, that people can't reliably guess what's in our pants - or even what was or will be there! Ha!

#GenderFuq

I also forgot how much fun people watching can be. I think my cerulean blue mask makes people in the SL,UT more comfortable with me. #CounterCulture

That contrasts with my Havasu experience, where I think my #genderfuq unicorn nature combined with a colorful mask was a bit shocking to the locals. They were a little nicer when I wore a boring mask color.

Still don't wanna stay here. Or there. Or anywhere in particular for too long. #nomad
🦄🏳️‍⚧️🌈