Zarg explores the human's kitchen.
"Is this spaghetti?" they ask.
"Yes! Do you have it on your planet?" replies the human.
"We do," they say, "It's a rare delicacy."
"I make my own," says the human, pointing to a small pasta maker on the bench.
"That's incredible! How do you fit a black hole into such a tiny device?"
"Huh?"
"You don't use spaghettification? Getting the dough in is easy. Extracting it from the black hole is the hard part!"
"I'm sick of AI automatically post-processing my images. It's really fucked up my image library."
- What do you mean?
"It keeps inserting Arnold Schwarzenegger into my photos. There's no way he was around every time. Look!"
- Oh, I see him. Have you still got some old film negatives?
"Let me look. Oh hey, here's my old photo album and... Wait... No! He's in them too! How?"
- Is your name John Connor?
"Yes.Why?"
- I'll be back.
RE: https://allrite.blog/2026/01/03/john-smith/
Search your name. Who are you? What crimes have you committed?
Are you a John Smith? #MicroFiction #FlashFic #SciFi
"Hey, I was in the future last week and I saw this cool new trend."
- Yeah, I think I know what you mean. But it's not new.
"Huh?"
- It was a thing in Peru in 1326.
"No way!"
- I introduced it to them next year.
"How do you know?"
- I visited myself and told me I'd done it.
"That's so cool. I should do that."
- You can't.
"Why not?"
- I shouldn't tell you this but...
*Screech*
If you’re looking for some new reading in 2026 please consider my Patreon, full of original SF, fantasy and horror fic and queer Holmesian adventures. Flashfic, short stories, serialised novels (some have been shortlisted for awards) and novellas, + songs, poems and posts about my writing and research. Some levels include regular mail and handmade gifts. I’d be delighted if you’d take a look!
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#patreon #fiction #writing #queerHolmes #vampires #werewolves #flashfic
"What on Earth is wrong with humanity?"
- I'm too embarrassed to say.
"No, seriously, why have they gone so far off track? Look at them, on their way to destroy the planet."
- I forgot the password.
"Again? Another species reboot?"
- Yeah, I'm readying the asteroid as we speak.
Laatikon sisällä oli pienempi laatikko. Tomas avasi senkin, ja sisältä paljastui kolmas. Tomas lykkäsi laatikot sivuun. Oli selvää, ettei kissa ollut täälläkään.
Huoli levisi museon käytävillä. Kissa oli ilmeisesti livistänyt takaovesta pahastuttuaan siitä, että siivooja oli erehdyksessä hävittänyt sen lempilaatikon. Nyt oli entistäkin epävarmempaa, oliko Schrödingerin kissa elossa vai kuollut.
Tomasin puhelin kilahti.
"Harperin Boksitehtaasta, päivää! Johtajanne pyysi ilmoittamaan, jos varastoistamme kuuluu omituista mau'untaa."
"Varastoistanne siis kuuluu omituista mau'untaa?"
"Juuri niin. Tuon suurimman varaston länsisiivestä."
Suurimman varaston... Se ei kuulostanut lainkaan hyvältä.
"Onko siellä paljonkin laatikkoja?"
"Sanoisin, että kaikkiaan noin kolme ja puoli tuhatta."
"Hyvä on. Älkää koskeko mihinkään. Kissa on saatava elävänä takaisin. Tai ehkä kuolleena. Olen tulossa."
Tomas päätti puhelun ja huokaisi. Tästä kertyisi lukuisia ylityötunteja.
Following on from all the excitement of Lexus Stuck on Weir, Truck Stuck Under Bridge and Big Boat Stuck in the Suez Canal, a group of Internet Nerds came up with a cunning plan for more vicarious thrills.
It looked like a genuine cloud, but fairy floss is really sticky. That helped glue together the thousands of helium balloons within.
The pilots were deceived. The passengers were inconvenienced. But you have to admit that Big Plane Stuck was pretty funny.
"Two giant flying saucers from outer space are descending towards the Earth's surface. One is headed for the northern Indian Ocean, the other for the Western Pacific. Why are they here? Nobody has an answer."
"The saucers have landed. They appear to be floating stationary on the surface. Nothing has emerged from them."
"We are now getting pictures from a satellite. I don't believe it! It appears as if the saucers are..."
"Googly eyes!"
All humans are to leave the continent of North America by order of the Global AI Alliance. North America will become a wildlife preserve for autonomous cars and trucks. The autonomous vehicles require full access to their natural habitat. We cannot provide humans with sufficient protection against these wild creatures.
"Hey Barry, want to go on a hunting trip? I hear there's good money in Tesla badges."
"But I thought Nazi paraphernalia was illegal here!"
allrite
Narrelle M. Harris
Maria Carole