3/5
IT’S NOT ALL WINE AND ROSES IN THIS NORTHERN TWO-HORSE BURG;
THE TOURIST MONEY COMES AND GOES; THE SKIING’S GETTING WORSE.
THE PEOPLE FROM THE CITIES BOUGHT UP COUNTLESS PROPERTIES
AND LEASE THEM OUT TO TOURISTS AS THOSE DAMNED AIRBNBS.
BUT AS FAR AS BORDER VILLAGES THAT FILL THE WOODED SPACE
‘TWEEN WASHINGTON, ONTARIO, MONTANA, AND THE LAKES,
QUEBEC AND NOVA SCOTIA, MINNESOTA AND SAULT SAINTE,
#ANTLERPASS MUST BE THE FINEST, BECAUSE ITS FINEST IS SO GREAT.

SLOSHING THROUGH THE MUSKEG OR CHEWING WILLOW BRANCHES
HE’S ALWAYS UP FOR FEEDING CRIMINALS A #MOOSECOP KNUCKLE SANDWICH
THERE’S NO LINE HE WOULDN’T CROSS, NO UNBURNABLE WOOD BRIDGE.
THE ONE THING KEEPING HIM IN LINE MUST BE HIS PARTNER, MIDGE.
WHETHER ON A STAKEOUT OR SHAKING DOWN A SYRUP SMUGGLER,
MIDGE ALWAYS TROTS OUT GOOD COP BEFORE MOOSE COP MAKES A BLUNDER.
ALTHOUGH MOOSE COP’S POLICE INSTINCTS MIGHT SEE HIM WHALING ON A PERP,
MIDGE BUTS INTO THE RAMPAGE AND ASKS: “WHO’S TRYNA #FREETHESURP ?”

#MooseCopHulu

Mayor Fedora would have never won the election without Hungry Jack Capezio. Capezio owns all the maple syrup in Antler Pass and Mother Fedora's Toaster Pancakes don't go down well without Hungry Jack's Butter Maple Syrup. The ruthless duo's plot to make the local government of Antler Pass complacent through simple carb craving is going according to plan. The break room at the Antler Pass Police Station is always inexplicably stocked with Mother Fedora's pancakes and Hungry Jack's syrup.

#moosecop
#moosecophulu
#antlerpass
#freethesurp

when I have pancake breakfast I don't try to hide my good fortune I go into work wearing a smug look and syrup all over my face SO THEY KNOW

#freethesurp

The pancakes taste a little dry at the Antler Pass Diner. All syrup coming into town flows through Hungry Jack Capezio and he's shut off the local eatery's supply. The diner had to stop serving their periodically available barbecue sandwich due to copyright infringement. Therefore, their revenue has been too low to pay pizzo to Capezio.

#moosecop
#moosecophulu
#moosecopwiki
#antlerpass
#freethesurp