Mastodawn

Hi. I spent years undiagnosed and being bullied for it. At school, work, random interactions. I hated people so much. I hated myself. Still often do.

Becoming a parent has not magically made me a better person. It's made me want to be one, however hard it is.

Maybe I complain a lot. No, I definitely do.

It's better to do it here than to swallow my hurt and take it out on my family, I think you'd agree.

And I reach out because I know my own experience of being #neurodivergent is limited, and want more perspectives.

If there were better support IRL, I'd be relying on that.

If you find my words triggering, I do apologise. But your words can hurt too. I'm sorry that my earnest attempts to understand a wider range of experiences are seen as bothersome or grating.

Maybe we're all just hopeless socially. Even online where many of us usually thrive.

I'll stop hashtagging for advice. It's clear I'm only seen as a self-centred "#autismmom", and my own lived experience as a lonely misunderstood AuDHD kid doesn't mean shit to Internet randos.

I'll just keep trying to find community in the hellscape of the real world.

Peace ✌🏻

Chu 朱 Oct 3

I had quite the #AutismMom moment as I watched 7 solve this entirely in his head on the order of about a minute.

Bryony Jul 14, 2025

https://www.instagram.com/p/DMGRSEooFeL/

#curlygirl #schoollife #schoolmemories #autisim #spectrum #thespectrum #tism #rizzemwiththetism #learningdifferences #learningdifferently #learningthroughplay #learningeveryday #autismspectrum #autismcommunity #parentingadventures #tractorlove #tractorshow #tractorporn #rurallife #townlife #countrysideliving #countrysidelife #singleparent #schoollove #lifechallenges #faceyourchallenges #yourblendedfamily #autismmom #autismkids #dyslexiaadvocate

Lifestyle | Foodie | Family | Bryony on Instagram: "Winnie. My wild child. My curly girl. So proud of how hard she tries despite the challenges she has, what I find hard to see sometimes is everyone posting how their children are thriving but not each childhood is like that and not everything comes easy - of course got to take into account not everyone posts their struggles online and not everyone is honest online - and you don't have to be, no one needs to post their sh*t on the Internet. Winnie is a creative soul - the crafts she makes with cardboard and sellotape is incredible. She loves to paddleboard and knows how to swim. She's coming out her shell at Beavers now and can give you good banter and quips that surprise you. It isn't something I speak about often to people because it feels like I just see all these parents/carers only ever sharing the positive things, the positive thriving school reports where their kids are successful at everything - and honestly that's awesome for them but I didn't have that experience at school (most people who met me diagnose me with ADHD) and neither does Winnie - School is where the challenge lies. Since being in Reception it was noticed her learning and communication was different to other children and 2 years later she's now on the waiting list to be diagnosed with autism which is taking a very very long time. She was diagnosed with a speech impediment at 5 so that has meant reading is a challenge and they think she's dyslexic so writing is also a challenge... Every success feels bigger, any time she speaks to another child I want to celebrate, whenever she comes home with a terrific ticket for simply trying is a reward day. I've never had a child with learning differences so it's a learning curve for me too and I need to learn patience with it and no matter how frustrating it can be it's 100x worse for her but she tries and tries and thats all that matters I think. Her little happy face when she creates or swims or joins in on something is something special. Finding what works for you in learning is key and she's so loving, caring and considerate and I'm very proud of her. She was my surprise wild card and I wouldn't change her for the world."

bryonyannie on July 14, 2025: "Winnie. My wild child. My curly girl. So proud of how hard she tries despite the challenges she has, what I find hard to see sometimes is everyone posting how their children are thriving but not each childhood is like that and not everything comes easy - of course got to take into account not everyone posts their struggles online and not everyone is honest online - and you don't have to be, no one needs to post their sh*t on the Internet. Winnie is a creative soul - the crafts she makes with cardboard and sellotape is incredible. She loves to paddleboard and knows how to swim. She's coming out her shell at Beavers now and can give you good banter and quips that surprise you. It isn't something I speak about often to people because it feels like I just see all these parents/carers only ever sharing the positive things, the positive thriving school reports where their kids are successful at everything - and honestly that's awesome for them but I didn't have that experience at school (most people who met me diagnose me with ADHD) and neither does Winnie - School is where the challenge lies. Since being in Reception it was noticed her learning and communication was different to other children and 2 years later she's now on the waiting list to be diagnosed with autism which is taking a very very long time. She was diagnosed with a speech impediment at 5 so that has meant reading is a challenge and they think she's dyslexic so writing is also a challenge... Every success feels bigger, any time she speaks to another child I want to celebrate, whenever she comes home with a terrific ticket for simply trying is a reward day. I've never had a child with learning differences so it's a learning curve for me too and I need to learn patience with it and no matter how frustrating it can be it's 100x worse for her but she tries and tries and thats all that matters I think. Her little happy face when she creates or swims or joins in on something is something special. Finding what works for you in learning is key and she's so loving, caring and considerate and I'm very proud of her. She was my surprise wild card and I wouldn't change her for the world.".

Instagram

Chu 朱 Apr 3, 2025

Last night 7 came up to me and said "30,240" is a very special number. It's a counting by 1 number. A counting by two number. A counting by 3 number....." And went all the way to 10. Before looking closely at the number, I asked "did you just multiple all the numbers together?"
"No. I didn't do 3 because 3 goes into 9. I didn't do 2 because...."

This morning I looked closer. He multipled 6,7,8,9,10.

He is so close to the concept of the lowest common denominator. I will have to give myself a reminder on how to find them efficiently. As he plays with numbers and stumbles upon concepts I feel like I have to show him the accepted conventions before he creates his own and doesn't understand symbols and methods that are internationally accepted.

I try so hard to encourage activities other than math but this is always what it falls back on when he's unsupervised.

Even with my engineering degrees, I find it hard to keep up. He's only 7.

#AutismMom

Chu 朱 Mar 25, 2025

7's friends got chased around the yard yesterday when 7 was home sick. We can't figure out how much is bullying and how much is just play going further than the kids want.

This is the 3rd time it's happened and every time has been when 7 is not at school. I now have a theory. It's not that things don't happen when 7 is there. It's that his ability to ignore the world and pay no heed to whatever else is happening, he simply doesn't engage and the other kids don't play. He ends up being inertial force that smoothes things over.

#AutismMom

Chu 朱 Oct 25, 2024

My mommy heart doesn't know what to make of this.

Just found out that the reason one of 6's BFFs clings onto him as tightly as he does is b/c "all the other kids are mean".

I hadn't heard about kids being mean, but partner had observed some strange behaviour and had asked 6 several times if he was ok.

Turns out, other kids are mean to 6 too and his BFF, it's just that 6 either doesn't care or doesn't perceive it.

I do not want to be one of THOSE moms. Not sure what to make of this. Advice or encouragement appreciated.

#AutismMom

Chu 朱 Aug 18, 2024

Daddy is teaching 6 to play Go. It's absolutely fascinating watching the gears in that head turn.

#AutismMom

Chu 朱 Apr 4, 2024

A fellow #AutismMom and PhD candidate took me out for lunch today to get some Intel and advice from me on how I'm handling both.

Conversation got to therapy and I told her I decided against ABA after hearing what adults who had gone through it had to say. She seemed taken aback (possibly offended?).

Say what you will about social media, without it, I would not have known to look deeper into something and get the opinions from people who have been through it, not just experts studying it.

Not sure if she's doing it. I didn't ask after her reaction. Sent her some information from the perspective of people who have been through it. She can decide. Advice is cheap. People have to make their own decisions.

But just wanted to say thanks Mastodon for being a wonderful trove of useful information. The #Autism community here is particularly great for parents like me trying to learn more to support our kids. We don't have a lot to contribute (yet) but we will get there.

Heather Cook🖖Autistic Coach Mar 18, 2024

Looking for an autism-friendly camp for your kid? Not sure how to tell if it will actually be as accepting as they claim? I put together an eBook on how to find and choose ND-affirming camps: https://payhip.com/b/crx3h

#autismparents #autismparent #autismlove #AutismMom #AutismDad

Heather Cook🖖Autistic Coach Mar 12, 2024

Are you looking for an autism-friendly camp for your kid this summer? Not sure how to tell if it will actually be as accepting as they claim? I put together an eBook on how to tell: https://payhip.com/b/crx3h

#Autism #AutismDad #AutismMom #AutismParenting