Why I’m Done Being a Human Doormat

Hey everyone, Tina here. Pull up a chair, grab a coffee (or something stronger, I don’t judge), and let’s have a real “heart-to-heart” about something that has been weighing on me lately.

I recently saw a quote that hit me like a cold splash of water to the face. It said: “There’s no reward for sticking by people who treat you badly.”

Read that again. Let it sink in.

For the longest time, I thought there was some secret “Loyalty Trophy” waiting for me at the end of the marathon of being mistreated. I honestly believed that if I just held on long enough, if I was patient enough, kind enough, or “understanding” enough, the person on the other side would eventually have an epiphany. I thought they’d wake up one day, look at me, and say, “Wow, Tina, you’ve been so resilient through my absolute nonsense. Here is a gold medal and my eternal respect.”

That trophy doesn’t exist. In fact, the only thing you get for “sticking it out” in a toxic situation is a high-octane case of burnout and a very expensive therapy bill.

We’ve all heard the phrase “Ride or Die,” right? It sounds so romantic and edgy in songs. But in reality, if the person you’re “riding” with keeps trying to push you out of the moving car, why are you still in the passenger seat?

I used to pride myself on being the friend who was always there. The one who would answer the 3:00 AM “I messed up” text for the tenth time in a row. But I started noticing a pattern: my “loyalty” was being treated like a subscription service that they didn’t have to pay for. I was giving 100% of my energy to people who wouldn’t even give me 10% of their respect. I was basically a human sponge, soaking up everyone else’s bad moods, insults, and neglect, thinking I was being “strong.”

Newsflash to past-Tina: That’s not being strong. That’s being a doormat with a pulse.

I’ve been doing some soul-searching (it’s messy in there, don’t recommend it unless necessary), and I realized we stay for a few reasons:

1. The “Investment” Trap: We feel like we’ve put so many years into the relationship/friendship that leaving would be “wasting” that time.

2. The Fear of Being “Mean”: We don’t want to be the “bad guy” who walks away.

3. The Fixer Mentality: We think we can love them into being a better person. (Note: You cannot. They are not a DIY home renovation project.)

But here’s the thing I’ve finally learned: Walking away isn’t mean. It’s a survival tactic. There is No Reward

Let’s look at the math. If you stay with someone who treats you like an afterthought, what do you actually gain?

• Do you get more energy? No, you’re exhausted.

• Do you get more confidence? No, your self-esteem is currently in the basement.

• Do you get a “Good Person” certificate? No, you just get more of the same bad treatment because you’ve taught them that you’ll tolerate it.

The “reward” for sticking by someone who treats you badly is simply… more bad treatment. It’s a closed loop. The only way to win the game is to stop playing.

So, I’m officially resigning from the “Sticking By People Who Treat Me Like Trash” committee. I’ve handed in my badge and cleared out my locker.

From now on, my loyalty is a premium product. It’s reserved for the people who show up, who respect my boundaries, and who don’t make me feel like I have to audition for a spot in their life every single day.

If you’re reading this and you’re currently “sticking it out” with someone who makes you feel small, consider this your permission slip to leave. There is no prize for suffering. The real reward is the peace of mind you find when you finally decide that you are worth sticking up for.

Anyway, that’s my rant for the day. I feel ten pounds lighter just saying it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go enjoy some peace and quiet—and maybe a slice of cake, because that’s a reward I actually enjoy.

Fighting Ghosts and One-Sided Beef

Hey y’all, it’s Tina. Pull up a chair, grab your beverage of choice (I’ve got my “don’t stress me” tea ready), and let’s have a real-life heart-to-heart.

I saw a quote today that hit me so hard I almost dropped my phone. It basically said that grown people don’t “beef” the way they used to. It pointed out that half the time, people are out here posting subliminal messages, taking shots, and acting out a whole Shakespearean drama… meanwhile, the person they’re mad at has already unfollowed, blocked, or—even worse—just straight up forgot they existed.

And honestly? I felt that in my soul.

We’ve all seen it. Maybe we’ve even been the one doing it (no judgment, we’re growing!). You’re hurt, you’re annoyed, so you post that one specific song lyric on your story. Or you share a cryptic quote about “fake friends” or “loyalty.” You’re sitting there, refreshing your viewers list, waiting for that name to pop up so you know they saw it.

But here is the cold, hard, hilarious truth: They aren’t watching. They aren’t checking for you. They aren’t decoding your captions like they’re National Treasure. While you’re in your room crafting the perfect “I’m doing better without you” post, they are probably at a grocery store trying to decide which brand of oat milk to buy. They aren’t “staying quiet” because your post hurt them; they’re quiet because they aren’t even in the room!

The quote used a phrase that I’m definitely stealing: “Jealousy mixed with imagination.” That is a dangerous cocktail, honey. It creates these made-up storylines where we think everyone is out to get us, or that someone is “winning” a fight that we started in our own heads. When you’re “pressed” over someone who has moved on and stayed unbothered, you aren’t in a conflict. You’re in a solo performance.

It’s like shadowboxing. You’re swinging, you’re sweating, you’re getting exhausted… but there’s nobody else in the ring. You’re just fighting ghosts. And let me tell you from experience: the ghost always wins because it doesn’t even know it’s in a fight.

There is a specific kind of peace that comes when you realize the beef isn’t mutual. It’s actually a huge ego check. We like to think our “enemies” spend as much time thinking about us as we do about them. But the ultimate “grown person” move? Realizing that your energy is too expensive to spend on someone who isn’t even paying rent in your mind.

If someone blocked you, let them! If they unfollowed, they did you a favor by cleaning up your feed!

So, here’s my challenge for us today (myself included):

• Step 1: Put the subliminals away.

• Step 2: Stop checking their page to see if they’re “losing.”

• Step 3: Realize that “staying unbothered” isn’t a pose you strike for Instagram—it’s a way of life.

Life is too short to be mad at a storyline you wrote yourself. If the beef is one-sided, it means you’re the only one holding the grill. Drop the tongs, turn off the heat, and go live your life.

I’m done fighting ghosts. I’ve got too much real-life stuff to enjoy. Who’s with me? 🥂

Personal Time Isn’t Optional

https://ericfoltin.com/2026/02/12/personal-time-isnt-optional/

Your Perspective Isn’t Broken, It’s Weathered

https://ericfoltin.com/2026/02/04/your-perspective-isnt-broken-its-weathered/

Adulting myths, busted! Discover why meal prepping, spotless homes, and strict bedtimes are overrated. Life’s too short for boring routines. #AdultingStruggles #RealLifeSkills #MessyAndProud #WingingIt #VoguegenicsLife

https://voguegenics.com/lifes-most-overrated-skills-why-we-all-deserve-a-break-from-adulting/

I just got lost in time and space after I stood up while scrolling through a New Girl fan account on IG. I spent 10 minutes standing there and watching clips…laughing, nodding, tearing up, before just sitting back down. I think I had originally gotten up to get a drink, I can’t remember now? I guess it’s going to be that kind of day.

#NewGirl #AdultingStruggles #IDontWantToAdultToday #ThatKindOfDay

When adulting feels like constant turbulence, remember—peace of mind is the smoothest landing you can hope for.

Sometimes, the best part of the journey is the quiet moments alone, where you can truly find your calm.

In a world that’s always rushing, taking time for yourself is the ultimate form of self-care. ✈️✨

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#AdultingStruggles #PeaceOfMind #SelfCare #QuietMoments #WorkIsLifePH