"You can't always explain cats." --Gran'ma Ben, from "Bone" by Jeff Smith
| Zoomer? | yes |
| Boomer? | no |
| Coder | yes |
| Peanut Shipment Unloader | no |
WolfGangsta
@wolfgangsta
- 2 Followers
- 12 Following
- 8 Posts
Watch out, I wrote a little night music the other day
@openculture Pictured: the famous expression of the old aphorism
OLYMPUS HAS MONSTERS
which partially survived Marsageddon and is still visible from low orbit millennia later.
@robpike
1) My toaster isn't toasting.
2) My toaster should be toasting my bread.
3) Buy a toaster. Unpackage it. Buy some bread. Get out a couple slices and shove them in the slots. Push down the handle thingy. It doesn't catch. Why won't it catch???
4) My toaster is 8.2543" long. I didn't measure the other dimensions because doing it the first time was really hard, my phone buzzed and I got really frustrated and broke the ruler in two. (I use Android.)
5) Oh, I forgot to plug it in. My bad.
@scrumble_eggs And standing under a ladder is actually good luck because... wait
@donni I'm happy to hear you've made it this far. If you're looking for adventure, have you begun to spot the insanes who are working against their very nature to become sane? Their tales are fascinating.
"You nerds believe it can be resurrected?"
He said, eyeing the corpse upon the floor.
It was mashed metal, static and arrested:
He'd killed it there to settle a petty score.
But when he said, "In Yeshu's name, be mended"--
Not knowing quite what he was asking for--
The dog jumped! So he who to mock intended
Found riches far surpassing Orian's shore.
--Jakob Taken, "The Conversion of St. Flunderbuss the Wireman". Published four minutes after the hour sometime in 16th-Century Ganymede.
@Whataretheodds Take her to the moon and watch the sunset from there.
It's especially effective when the low air density and moonrock illumination agitate her lupine form long enough for you to shove the were-antidote in her arm, curing her years-long disease and allowing her, once again, to live a normal life.
It's worked for 100% of the women I've dated so far.
No, it's not missing! There's a little fireman in the hole. You put your ear up to the hole and he pulls out his cell phone and calls whoever you want. And because he's a fireman, his phone can reach all the restricted numbers--Santa Claus, the Tickle Monster--even the President himself! (Well, the president of the Firemans' Association.) Just don't make him angry or he might squirt water in your ear.
