Kochkäse mit Kümmel 🧀

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343 Posts

I’m not some big “anti-capitalist”…

But it certainly seems that preventing the wealthy from buying off politicians and making billionaires pay their fair share in taxes would be a great start.

Sure, I’d love to quit drinking…

But, y’know… people.

Instead of going to get a haircut…

I think I’m just going to PRAY for a haircut. That should work.

Interviewer: Can you explain these gaps in your résumé?

Me: Well, sure. That’s just double-spacing. I do that between headings to make it easier to read.

Sorry I’ve been weird recently, and also in the past, and will also be in the future
2020 was the toddler that dressed itself.
Sex with my husband could've been an email.
Go ahead and laugh, kid. Someday you'll be old and won't recognize a single band name on a major music festival poster either.
Hate it when people talk to me and I also hate it when people don’t talk to me, but here’s what I don’t hate: Penguins
I start my day the same way everyone does. Wake up, choose my outfit, get some coffee, scream at the endless horrors and do some gentle stretches.