Sleeping in the same bed as my new husband has been difficult. Not because he snores or moves around a lot but because if I accidentally nudge him when he hasn't fallen asleep yet, he begins to quote Katy Perry lyrics at me.
The sluttiest thing a man can do is offer you the dill pickle that came with his sandwich because he doesn't want to eat it but also doesn't want to contribute to food waste
I’m so hungry I could eat my own cooking.
Sick of my cat ignoring current events
ME: [existing off of coffee & 4 hours of sleep per night] why am I so anxious all of the time? it is a mystery...
Spiders never die. Even if you think you killed one, it just regenerated at its last save point.
Welcome to the jungle. We have fun, and games, and a little baggie for you to take home at the end with some toothpaste and floss.
Sure, I panic sometimes, but only when I think about anything
Okay, I'm just going to come out & say it: I don't know why no one ever discusses this publicly because I feel like deep down, we all know that this is absolutely true but can someone PLEASE explain to me why I've never seen anyone discussing how spectacular pelicans would be at trick-or-treating?
Old people in the south have sayings like, “there’s more than one way to skin a cat,” and I for one would be just fine not knowing even one of the ways.
Nayele18
donni saphire
BeTheCookie
.chris
Crockett Houghton