Today we're waiting for an IKEA delivery that, according to their email, will be a 10x10x10 cm box weighing 14 kg.

So density-wise that has to contain berkelium, californium, protactinium, tantalum, uranium, gold, tungsten, plutonium, neptunium, rhenium, platinum, iridium, or osmium.

We're of course hoping for platinum, and really not for plutonium, because the critical mass is 11 kg...

ME: Hello computer! Please show me what I was doing recently

COMPUTER IN THE 1980's: l cease to exist when I am powered off. Please start whatever you were doing from scratch

COMPUTER IN THE 2000's: Yep here you go champ

COMPUTER IN THE 2020's: I stored 10,000 identical copies of what you were doing in 500 different global datacentres at a carbon footprint equivalent to leaving a semi-trailer idling 24/7 and also sent a copy to the FBI just to be safe. Let me know which one you want and I'll do my best to figure it out. By the way here are 10 things which are similar to what you were doing and 9 of them are ads. Do you like this? Please select "I love this very much" or "I'll be in love with this later" to continue

come chat with us online, your options are:

- unencrypted faang client
- other unencrypted faang client
- other other unencrypted faang client
- encrypted faang client that is likely backdoored
- $20 profile microtransactions and constantly changing UX
- client with optional encryption and requires a phone number
- encrypted by default client that also requires a phone number
- 35 year old protocol lacking a lot of QOL features that people still use for some reason
- 25 year old protocol that nobody can agree on which extensions to use
- "unable to decrypt message"