Mastodawn

BenBoven

377 Followers

445 Following

914 Posts

I write romantic comedies and apocalypse stories featuring the tiny house lifestyle. If that sounds cool you're weird and I want to meet you.

I'm predicting that we'll have an AI President by 2050.

LOOK AT YOU, DISPOSING OF DISPOSABLE RAZORS LIKE SOME SORT OF ROCKEFELLER.

Ugh, ANOTHER Dollar General?

Growing up, I had three sisters. One of them was a quiet child, often angry or sullen and sometimes cruel.

One day that person went away.

And then I had a brother.

He was cheerful and warm, finally comfortable in a body he'd wanted his entire life.

Conservatives want to eradicate my brother. I'm here to say that's not going to happen.

Dear people who actively refuse to buy dishwashers, who hurt you?

Movie writers in the Nineties:

"Could a cavemen use a doorknob?"

"I don't know, George. Maybe?"

And that's 'Encino Man'.

Sometimes, I think the random cracks in my car's paint are an allegory for cracks in my sanity that I'm too stupid to fully grasp.

Or my car is just a piece of crap.

Took probiotics while on an antibiotic, and my gut microbiome was banished to the Phantom Zone.

high school did not prepare me for how difficult it is to make friends when you don’t see someone eight hours a day five days a week

Yeah she said she got gonorrhea from putting foil in the microwave. Sounded weird but I'm not a dentist so..