Mastodawn

Lil Crow 🇨🇦 🐦‍⬛🐰

548 Followers

231 Following

10K Posts

Just a girl, living in a cruel world. Looking for animals to love, and unlimited books to read. not ha ha funny, just kinda, reply girl funny. Ugh..

I’m a cowboy…

On a steel horse I ride…

And I’m wanted…

For unethical horse metallurgical engineering

Do you know what 50 Cent did when he got hungry?

Please don't delete me

I prefer older men because they are more financially secure and more likely to die soon.

Goldilocks: this porridge is too cold

Mama Bear: they're called overnight oats bitch

My five year plan is snacks.

The first step is admitting that the other person is the one with the problem.

I need a glass of wine so big it comes with a lifeguard

When he hits you so hard on the bottom that ketchup splurts out of your mouth

The problem with graters is that it's hard to tell where the tomato ends and your blood begins.

My advice to young people…

Don’t get old.