You are stronger and more skilled than basically all babies, so there’s that

I'd be lost without people on Nextdoor posting about local anomalies like, "Anyone noticing an increase of fruit flies/gnats in the house?"

"Actions have consequences", I muttered, burrowing deeper into the earth.

Autocorrect can go straight to he’ll

One thing the metgala reminds me every year is that I have no idea who is famous anymore.

I should be able to store snacks in the bags under my eyes.

When a woman or girl goes missing in the woods, no one assumes it was a bear.