January 1 and May 31. The only thing I’ve trimmed is my mustache hair above my mouth so that I can eat.

Last month I was in my “Santa“ phase. Now I think I’m in my “divine being“ phase. I look like I should be smiling down on the world I just created.

Touching a butt (consensually) cures the common cold and gives you an extra hour of life.

Having your butt touched (consensually) helps prevent the spread of the dreaded ligma and boffa viruses.

So do your part. Help the immune system by touching a butt consensually. Do your part to make the world a better place for all.

The one thing that I've always found funny about punk shows, is how the music is all about individuality, and putting truth to power, and non conformity, yet everyone in the pits are wearing clothes that mark them as punk fans.

I mean, if you were really punk, you'd show up to punk show looking like Disco Stu.

Omg is there a worse feeling than being out in public and needing to find a restroom, but none is available and you’re unsure if you’re going to be able to wait?

OK, yeah maybe there is. But I don’t care about any of that right now.

Day 2 of being on beige.party...

The natives in their acceptance have adorned me in robes and started dancing around a fire singing "We are not a cult. We are not a cult!" while handing out pamphlets that are titled "How not being a cult can be the cult you've always wanted to join.".

I'll report more as new discoveries arise.

Day one of my infiltration of beige.party...

My disguise had worked. The natives have accepted me as one of their own.