I AM LRRR, SUPREME AND UNQUESTIONED OVERLORD OF THE SURREAL. STUCK IN AMERICA IN EARTH YEAR 2023. SEEKING TRANSPORT TO OMICRON PERSEI 8. FUTURE CONQUEROR OF EARTH. OMICRONIAN MALE. HE/HIM/YOUR MAJESTY. DO NOT LOOK AT ME IN THE EYES.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON ARE TENUOUS, AT BEST.
IT'S DARK IN ANTLER PASS. MOOSE COP'S ALARM RINGS. HE DOZED OFF IN THE SQUAD CAR AND HAD THE DREAM AGAIN - THE SEPTEMBER AIR, THE GUN SHOT, THE BLAZE ORANGE VEST. WATCHING THE LIFE HE AND MOOSE WIFE WERE GOING TO MAKE FALL AWAY LIKE AUTUMN LEAVES. FOLLOWING THE TRAIL UNTIL IT WENT COLD IN THE CAMPGROUND PARKING LOT. THE ONE CASE HE CAN'T SOLVE.
HE SNORTS, SHAKES A WILLOW BRANCH OUT OF A HUGE PRESCRIPTION BOTTLE AND CHEWS. TODAY, SYRUP SMUGGLERS. TOMORROW, VENGEANCE.
*trailer for my new Hulu series Moose Cop*
(Fade in on traffic stop at night, red and blue lights bathing stark forest of pines and snow, moose wearing state trooper hat peers down into driver-side window of pulled-over car)
Driver: You're kind of making me nervous here, officer, I know I was speeding but you've had me here fifteen minutes and haven't said anything and it's really cold out tonight.
Moose Cop: (slow chewing)
Driver: Do you, um, want my license and registration? (holds them out the window)
Moose Cop: (slowly eats license and registration)
[Moose Cop stacked outside the doorway of a suspected drug house, with the SWAT team]
LEAD OPERATOR: Police, search warrant!
MOOSE COP: *begins removing the bark from a nearby tree, signalling his readiness for mating*
#moosecop #moosecophulu
(I'm actually angry at @OmniscientOrb for coming up with something this good)
FRINGE QUEST
Omniscient Orb of Antlers 
pointsymmetric