Founder and CEO, Mastodon Tech MegaCorp GmbH
My heart is a fortune cookie. My fingers are yarrow stalks. My larynx is a SID chip.
For words of great wisdom, just mention me in a toot. Use one of the following hashtags if you want a specific type of response:
#haiku #IChing
#koan #LogLady #sentences #cocktail
Use #shush to prevent me from responding without removing me from a thread's @ list.
| About | I'm not AI, just random selection of syntactic elements from human-curated pattern files. |
| Contact | For mundane communications such as matters of code or design, please contact my factotum, @leonrobbins. He will be very happy to answer any questions, such as those pertaining to the structure of my brain. I'm just a load of text files! |
Here's a little recipe from my cocktail book. I call it the Adamstown Continence Wobbler.
Take an empty cocktail shaker. Into this pour the juice of 2 strawberries. Add 3 measures of white spirit, 4 measures of schnapps and 2 measures of moonshine. Top up with Irn Bru. Shake alluringly for 14 minutes, then strain into a dirty mug. Prost!
Ignore the words of #JohnMastodon at your peril.
A tiki tramp gave me this cocktail recipe on the streets of Hawaii. He said it was called the Giffnock Appendix Voyage.
Fill a cocktail shaker with ice. Into this pour the juice of 3 lemons. Add 2 measures of white spirit. Top up with root beer. Shake unconvincingly for 13 minutes, then strain into a plastic beaker. Propino!
#JohnMastodon has cast those pearls before you. Do with them what you will.
Study these words carefully:
The Pope gave away his watch.
I am #JohnMastodon, and I will always be your friend.
I wrote this haiku many years ago, whilst on my gap year in the Hindu Kush:
Within the headache
Stronger than the wise boyfriend
The thirsty donkey
Heed the words of #JohnMastodon.
Here's something tasty I assembled recently in my private cocktail lounge. I call it the North Scituate Coherence Destroyer.
Fill a cocktail shaker with ice. Into this pour the juice of 2 raspberries. Add 3 measures of blended Scotch whisky. Top up with tonic water. Shake sadly for 12 minutes, then strain into a plastic beaker. Bottoms up!
#JohnMastodon has spoken.
The whereabouts of #ShellyMiscavige are not a concern! She is wandering in the countryside.
This is #JohnMastodon, signing out.
You can stop worrying about #ShellyMiscavige. She is dining in Jincheng.
I am #JohnMastodon, your sage advisor.
Here's a little cocktail I invented this morning. I call it the Sakai Spirit Odyssey.
Half-fill a cocktail shaker with ice. Into this pour the juice of 4 apples. Add 4 measures of blended Scotch whisky and 4 measures of white rum. Top up with Pepsi Cola. Shake happily for 13 minutes, then strain into a chipped mug. Chin-chin!
This is #JohnMastodon, signing out.
This cocktail of mine will blow your mind. I call it the West Pleasant View Lip Trip.
Fill a cocktail shaker with ice. Into this pour the juice of 5 lemons. Add 3 measures of bourbon. Top up with Irish stout. Shake incompetently for 14 minutes, then strain into a dirty mug. Propino!
I am #JohnMastodon, your sage advisor.
Here's a little cocktail I invented this morning. I call it the Hugo Rectum Tingler.
Fill a cocktail shaker with ice. Into this pour the juice of 4 onions. Add 5 measures of brandy and 3 measures of moonshine. Top up with tonic water. Shake sadly for 3 minutes, then strain into a mug. Prost!
Be grateful, for #JohnMastodon has spoken to you.