@dan613 @caffeinatedgeek @CelloMomOnCars @FantasticalEconomics
Rule two: authoritarian governments love overbuilding physical infrastructure.

I’m just making this stuff up as I go, of course.

@filmfreak75 @actuallyautistic

My advice, and my own guideline, is to live authentically in as many places as I safely can. This applies in my case to being queer, nonbinary, and neurofabulous in different ways in different spaces.

What feels safe can change over time and I have to respect my own ability to sense danger. I gather information over time within each space, and with each person. I test the waters and evaluate reactions.

With respect to autism and work, my testing has been to disclose some bits of information about myself but not yet the label autism. For example, I say things like "minds like mine" or "I am really good at juggling one ball" instead of "I am autistic." I say, "My strengths come out when I can pursue the topics most interesting to me without interruption until they are complete" instead of "I want accommodations to prevent people from interrupting me."

I did eventually tell one of the partners that I am autistic, because there was a situation where someone was not getting the right sort of accommodation and I got involved. I could tell the partner did not understand why I was getting involved, so I told him. I think it helped resolve the situation.

We should always protect our agency about private information - private means it is our information to control, not that it has to be secret but that we get to decide who knows it. Authentic disclosure is empowering only when it feels reasonably safe, and it can be a benefit to those around us, often in ways we do not and may not ever see.

@androcat @EmilyMoranBarwick @actuallyautistic @actuallyadhd

Really?!!! Do you happen to have some accessible source material you can point me to - I would love to learn more about how caffeine operates.

@HeavenlyPossum @turtle_green @AlexanderKingsbury @AdrianRiskin @simon_brooke @FantasticalEconomics @rauder

You are talking about desire. To desire is to be human.

Greed is a pathological and sociopathic form of desire. To be greedy is to be an evil human.

At least that is what I understand those words to mean.

@robrecht @sentient_water @Aerliss @Autistrain @neurodiversity

It is completely avoidable. Medical professionals are humans and thus have varied capabilities in terms of written communication. Many are perfectly capable of writing in clear and non-pathologizing language. Those who are not as capable can make use of support from co-authors.

Doctors are afforded enormous privilege and can choose to make use of that privilege to “do no harm” as they have pledged. When they do not, we can and should hold them accountable, by making clear the harm they cause and demanding change.

I hope your pain abates. Until you are able to communicate your ideas without intense sarcasm, you will also be causing harm. We can and should hold each other accountable.

@FrightenedRat @Susan60 @marytzu @juliasnz @RolloTreadway

The experience you describe sounds closest, among my three examples, to our enby child. What you may be missing is that your experience is very different than what the other two kids experience. Our cisgender girl feels a very deep and powerful connection to her gender identity as a girl. She notices arbitrary norms and arbitrary boundaries, but those are secondary. She has tolerance for those that she comes up against in our society, but she would have less tolerance in a society more restrictive for girls. But that change in tolerance has no effect on her sense of being a girl."

When you ask if you are looking for something deep, the best I can see is that there is something deep for some and not something deep for others. It varies, but it is a different dimension entirely from tolerance for boundaries.

@FrightenedRat @Susan60 @marytzu @juliasnz @RolloTreadway

As a further example, with the same teachers: we go shopping for clothes. The store has a girls section and a boys section.

Cisgender girl appreciates the girls section plans to make use of it, and knows that she will prefer the clothes there, but she’s happy to venture into the boys section to get a t-shirt with a character that she likes.

Enby is annoyed at the whole process, goes directly to the same choice of clothing every time, and wonders why they even have to be there at all.

Trans girl appreciates the girls section and uses it, but she knows it will be a struggle trying to find items that feel right.

I’m trying to convey the interaction between internal state and social expectations that they each navigate differently. This is just one of many, many factors they juggle every day. That juggling process is easier for some and harder for others, and changes for different social contexts, but the result always reflects a gender identity. And it is always easier when those around each of them are aware of and supportive of that gender identity.