Ms. Que Banh#Love without mutual genuine nurturing is more likely to be #limerance.
Learn about the difference between #love & #limerance.
https://anniewright.com/limerence-vs-love-how-to-tell-the-difference-and-why-it-matters/
If you're codependent, you're much more prone to fall into limerance traps. When you learn the differences, you can avoid those traps, better ✌️
#Relationships #SelfAwareness #SelfImprovement #BeingHuman #Codependency
stephaniepixie 🏳️🌈@PhoenixSerenity It’s no wonder many of us take years to figure out the difference, especially when we’re young, because limerance (or being “in love” with someone vs loving them) is the one that is being promoted everywhere. Obsession sells well.
@stephaniepixie Exactly!
Tiota Sram@PhoenixSerenity @stephaniepixie a test I like to apply as I read romance that a shocking percentage of stuff fails (including stuff I overall like):
Take person A's behavior towards their romantic interest B. Assume that B has the *minimal* romantic interest in A that's consistent with the statements and behaviors they make intentionally that person A has a chance to observe. How would B actually react to A's romantic gesture X if they had that level of interest? If the answer is "they'd be shocked/offended/horrified/sad/angry" or more simply "that would be sexual harassment/assault" then the story where it isn't but only because we-the-audience knows the interest is reciprocated fails the test.
So many stories are written where B is secretly pinning for A too, so "it's okay" that A goes in for that kiss or asks out their subordinate, or... even though A hasn't gotten any sign of B's true feelings and didn't ask for consent (the obvious/easy way to confirm them). These stories are teaching exactly the wrong lessons about consent, which plays into the whole "unrequited love is so romantic" crap that conflates limerance and love.
@tiotasram @PhoenixSerenity If consent is ever part of the equation in mainstream hetero romance it’s usually only the man who is entitled to it.
My parents tell the story of how they met and it sounds like a stalker story to me. So much of the chasing is creepy to me, but promoted as romantic. Even when it’s requited attraction.
Consent is so rarely talked about even in non-romantic circumstances.
Children are so often not even considered worthy of providing consent. Offered zero agency over their own body or life. Adults tell them what and how to behave and get told who to trust, and who to show affection to, what to eat, when to sleep… it’s a wonder any of us know how to be in relationships as adults 😜
My parents tell the story of how they met and it sounds like a stalker story to me. So much of the chasing is creepy to me, but promoted as romantic. Even when it’s requited attraction.
Consent is so rarely talked about even in non-romantic circumstances.
Children are so often not even considered worthy of providing consent. Offered zero agency over their own body or life. Adults tell them what and how to behave and get told who to trust, and who to show affection to, what to eat, when to sleep… it’s a wonder any of us know how to be in relationships as adults 😜
@stephaniepixie @tiotasram I have stuff to say about how some parents try to force friendships that their kids don't want to engage in.