Mastodawn

I added some units since this isn't by volume, it's by height.

Yes you can see small things better while tiny.

No you won't get squished when hit with they ray because you are in a house.

Your problems begin after you change size.

Die Alterswilde

@futurebird smaller! Because no one will see me, an I could get everywhere I want in my garden. I could eat one strawberry a week or collect seeds for food...

averageGuy101 May 10

@Geisseltierchen @futurebird yeah, you could also be eaten by a bug.

Die Alterswilde

@averageGuy101 I will fight with a sting from a hawthorn! @futurebird

Btrinen May 10

@futurebird Imagine the calorie needs of being huge. What would I eat? Seems like there is a ton of stuff to eat at small scales. My biggest danger as a tiny person would probably be my cats.

Damon L. Wakes May 10

@btrinen @futurebird I thought about the food angle for being large, but it's one week: you shouldn't starve in that time anyway, and I figure you could probably get in on some "Largest [Whatever]" food-based Guinness World Records in that time.

@DamonWakes @btrinen

A few dozen boxes of cereal mixed with sticks of butter should be enough calories to keep the tummy from rumbling for a bit.

Water might mean popping a hydrant, unless you live near some nice clean lakes.

kawunngg May 10

@futurebird @DamonWakes @btrinen
it will be a catastrophic event when I'll need to go to the toilet. 😂

Salty May 10

@kawunngg @futurebird @DamonWakes @btrinen “What? This mountain wasn’t there yesterday. And what’s that smell?”

Damon L. Wakes May 10

@david @kawunngg @futurebird @btrinen Let's not be too quick to dump on a potential green alternative to the Haber process. It's free* fertiliser, after all.

*ignoring whatever it takes to power the mad science ray

@DamonWakes @kawunngg @futurebird @btrinen

Salty May 10

You had to put “dump” in there. 😹

Damon L. Wakes May 10

@david @kawunngg @futurebird @btrinen It was that or "pooh-pooh."

SomeVeganCheeseIsOk May 11

@DamonWakes @david @kawunngg @futurebird @btrinen hire yourself out to any project attempting to put organics into desertified environments?

....are your gut bacteria giant sized too, and do they remain that way after you deposit them?

SleepyCat May 10

@futurebird would prefer to go small but worried our cats will eat me

Annelies May 10

@futurebird 100 times larger of course! Think of all the data centers and warehouses you could just hulk smash.

Burnt Veggies May 10

@akamran @futurebird I came to the same conclusion. Also I might try to use my size to finally rid this county (USA) of a certain person by flinging them into the ocean.

Waiting On A Bus May 10

@akamran @futurebird pleased that I wasn’t the only one to think of the work I would do as a kaiju for a week.

SomeVeganCheeseIsOk May 10

@akamran @futurebird I thought of that. Realistically you could probably only hit one data center before they blow you up with an RPG or something. It's a suicide mission.

Annelies May 10

@SomeVeganCheeseIsOk @futurebird nah, you'd be in the next country or out to sea by the time they got their shit together. I've seen lots of monster movies, I'm pretty sure I could wreak a LOT of havoc before they put me down!

JoeJoeTom (aka Eerie Tom)May 10

@akamran @SomeVeganCheeseIsOk @futurebird Especially when you consider, in the old #Godzilla movies, the military frequently **lost track of Godzilla** ... while he was ashore!! 😲

Annelies May 10

@joejoetom @SomeVeganCheeseIsOk @futurebird right?! Like, kaiju don't exactly have a stealth mode!

Three plus or minus five May 11

@akamran @futurebird
The problem is that you'll be arrested after you shrink down again and spend the rest of your life in prison.

I chose 'smaller' because I'll do a lot less harm that way.

Annelies May 11

@ThreeSigma @futurebird I was more planning on going out in a blaze of glory style

myrmepropagandist May 11

@ThreeSigma @akamran
very simple just before the week ends you negotiate with whoever is willing to negotiate with you making a promise to not be big anymore as long as they pay you $100,000 every month

Annelies May 11

@futurebird @ThreeSigma that's reasonable - less than the insurance premium they'd have to pay for the damage I'd do if/when I embiggen again.

Thommy May 10

@futurebird I would explore the shit out of a forest floor. I’d be afraid of all the insects but per movie logic, it would just be a lot of close calls and me befriending one of the bugs.

Benjamin May 10

@futurebird I'd go big and hide in the mountains. Fresh water springs to drink from, I've got "reserves" to not need to eat for a week. Beats getting eaten by an ant or a wasp.

Probably overlooking something...

@blindcoder

You'll be overlooking *everything* all week.

I'd go help renovate the whitehouse.

D2 May 10

@futurebird @blindcoder larger = take that damn ray gun. Do the DC thing. Zap a big slobbery dawg. Feed the big dawg a particularly unappetizing chew toy — they’ll eat cat shit, so it work.

patsplat May 10

@futurebird 100x smaller, and I'll ask my wife to keep me safe in a pint of ice cream. Maybe not for the whole week but it's the first thing that came to mind.

Mans R May 10

@futurebird What's the food and water supply like? Are there cats in the area?

@mansr

Oh god... Pica.

That is something I'd need to think about.

Eric May 10

@futurebird if 100 x smaller, will I be in the wild, a populated area, or in a house/building. Do I get to choose?

@eric

You can get some help from a friend if you need to.

Eric May 10

@futurebird definitely smaller then. Easier to get needed food/water, and deal with, um ... waste management. 💩

But I defiantly don't want to be eaten.

ScriptFanix💍

@futurebird
I have cats. Becoming 100x smaller would be too dangerous

Virginicus May 10

@ScriptFanix @futurebird Yep; a one-inch me would be cat food.

El Satánico Dr. Katow May 10

@futurebird I'd rather be giantic and crush the government.

Breizh May 10

@futurebird Well, two times bigger or smaller could be fun, but 100 times… that would be a really bad week either way.

Faith, Purple haired feminist 🧋

@futurebird When I was a kid, I dreamed of having the ShrinkerScope from The Magic School Bus and I would shrink down and hang out with my LEGO friends.

Eleanor 🫖🍵📚May 10

@faithisleaping @futurebird my childhood best friend and I used to make believe we could make potions to do things. The most common was the one that could turn me into a girl of course, but the second most common was a shrinking potion. I'd spend hours on the phone with her planning what we'd do when the potion worked. I requisitioned my sister's doll house and set it up for how I wanted it to look when my friend and I moved into it together.

millennial fulcrum May 10

@futurebird an effective growth ray embiggens us all

John Maxwell May 10

@futurebird Larger would let me stomp on things, but otherwise, no.

Toast, Anonymous Fedi Fungus May 10

@futurebird I was born large. Maybe small would be nice for a change.

@ShiitakeToast

Your poor mum!

Toast, Anonymous Fedi Fungus May 10

@futurebird She never forgave and never let me forget it.

Aoife 🦫🏴May 10

@futurebird 100x larger - im knocking down ugly buildings like godzilla

@serverlessaoife

Giving a whole new meaning to architectural digest.

🏳️‍🌈 Brie 🪰🚴🌸✨May 10

@futurebird I'm booking a flight to Maui before I expand and then I'm gonna go full Godzilla see how many billionaire mansions I can squish before the Navy shows up 😌💭✨

Hotter, even more cross Bunny May 10

@futurebird

The average human sized human walks three miles an hour. One could assume at 100X the height the legs would get you places faster at almost the same rate, so around three hundred miles a day. I could see A LOTTA OCEANS AND MOUNTAINS AND AND ANNNDDD...

Ben Pfaff May 10

@HCBunny @futurebird Isaac Asimov wrote a short essay on the speed of seven league boots. If I recall correctly, he concluded that a person walking in them would break escape velocity and end up in orbit.

John Burns May 10

@futurebird

This requirement:
but you must make it through the week.

Sealed my choice...

Way too many things would just slurp up something 2 cm (~3/4 inch) of size...

Not too many things ("humans only") would go after something 200 m tall (~600 ft)

S.T. Veje May 10

@futurebird You're telling me I could spend a week being a sneaky fairy sneaking into places and causing havoc with none the wiser? Sign me up!

Yes, if you were a giant you could smash lots of stuff, but it would also be super obvious who did it and you'd get in a lot of trouble afterwards.

0x575446, Fifth Columnist May 10

@futurebird The bit about "will not die or suffer any huge health impacts" really sells it for me, because that means I could try to ride around the house on the cat.

VoidZeroOne

@futurebird it's stompin' time

Skjeggtroll May 10

@futurebird

100 times smaller. I might die to wolf spiders or something, but at least I won't kill anyone by turning over in my sleep. Also, the practical problems are just greater -- if I was 200 meter tall, what would I do for food, shelter or clothing?

Extra_Special_Carbon May 11

@skjeggtroll @futurebird I figure my thermal mass would make shelterf superflous, but the quantity of food I would need is insane

·J Mopp May 10

@futurebird I want to be 100 times smaller, but then I fear my cats will eat me, so 100 times bigger it is