Elliot Shank
A Light Shining In DarknessHow to pick up a duck 🦆
ErpelWHAT ARE WE TO YOU??? MERELY TOYS???
How to unpick up a duck 🦆
Hugs4friends ♾🇺🇦 🇵🇸😷
myrmepropagandistRE: https://mastodon.social/@cks/116371436445442412
What is the greatest unsolved problem in CS?
Calendar file interoperability!
Is it because of the vexing nature of time and advanced mathematics.
No!
xrvs
David B. 
proedie
madame poolhair@fzer0 remember to ask the duck 🦆 if they want to be picked up first 🥇
How to pick up a duck 🦆
(Common problems and mistakes)
OrangeR
Aucraptor@fzer0 @lacybarry the adorable little red shoes 😍
John Francis 🇨🇦🦫🍁💪⬆️@fzer0 @lacybarry does this work on Canada Geese too?
Es 🇺🇦 angerichtet
@johnefrancis @esistangerichtet @fzer0 @lacybarry
I wouldn't try again. It chased me away looking ferocious.
#birds
I wouldn't try again. It chased me away looking ferocious.
#birds
@OrangeR @esistangerichtet @fzer0 @lacybarry there's always one that's "standing guard" with its head up. Don't try to pick up that one. Pickup one of the ones that is furiously eating grass.
@fzer0 @esistangerichtet @lacybarry @johnefrancis
Nope, I chickened out already once. (You can see the watchgoose in the second pic). Well... it had rained and areas were muddy I couldn't run fast enough. Who am I to disturb their lunch ?
Also, they respect nothing, they went into the water in spite of it being forbidden.
Nope, I chickened out already once. (You can see the watchgoose in the second pic). Well... it had rained and areas were muddy I couldn't run fast enough. Who am I to disturb their lunch ?
Also, they respect nothing, they went into the water in spite of it being forbidden.
epilonious@johnefrancis @OrangeR @esistangerichtet @fzer0 @lacybarry
I dunno, from what I understand with all cobra chickens: Mess with the honk, you get the bonk.
Jeff Grigg@johnefrancis @OrangeR @esistangerichtet @fzer0 @lacybarry
Just Do Not Try That with a Canadian Goose. It will not work out well (for you).
peachfront"we pose for food, we chase those who show up with cameras but no food, consider yourself warned!" -- goose not just for canada anymore
🤣
FurryBeta
Ozzelot 
Franchesca
Timo Kramer@Pepijn Vital technical training now available on Mastodon!
Pepijn@Timo_Micro 8 or 9yr old me once tried this technique with a swan. Got a free doctor visit out of it and two days off from school!
@Pepijn Given everything else you've posted I guess I shouldn't be surprised, but at the same time it had me rolling my eyes. I guess your 'risk management' aspects only developed later.
@Timo_Micro It's still developing. Life long learning 😃
ScriptFanix💍
NilaJonesI like the part at the end, where the duck wiggles around on the hand to get comfy 😊
ndevenish@lacybarry @fzer0 yes, Duck Consent is a very important step
Jonas
Cleo
YendoloschBest pick-up artist ever.
Cycling Stu
justin@stufromoz @fzer0 Can vouch. If you front lift then the crop (bit between neck and the body) will fall naturally on your wrist providing balance. A comfortable duck will use legs for low-stress sideways balance. (also this is classic duck strategy - it's becoming too expensive for them to drive their duck cars, so they're looking to alternative forms of transportation)
Jess Torley (Wilson) [she/her]@fzer0 I cannot find a duck. 
Frigid Crystal Tormented Wrath@fzer0 Heh Wrinkle
Mr. Lance E Sloan (IRL) 👤@fzer0
So useful! Reminds me of the video about how to open doors.
So useful! Reminds me of the video about how to open doors.
Fridgitator@fzer0
I had a pet duck when I was a kid. She would follow me around, but when she got tired of walking, she would lean against something to let me know. I would pick her up from behind, and lay her on her back on top of my head. I could hold her in place with a hand on her belly. She would cluck contentedly in my ear as I walked. A duck will not poop while on their back, so much care must be taken during the dismount. It is important to aim her off to one side, away from others
I had a pet duck when I was a kid. She would follow me around, but when she got tired of walking, she would lean against something to let me know. I would pick her up from behind, and lay her on her back on top of my head. I could hold her in place with a hand on her belly. She would cluck contentedly in my ear as I walked. A duck will not poop while on their back, so much care must be taken during the dismount. It is important to aim her off to one side, away from others
Pomegranate_Stew
Chery (Great Australian Pods)@fzer0 I used to have Muskovys - you'd break your wrist trying to hoist a full grown drake like that! Definitely a two hand job.
Angua 
demokratiehörnchen 🇺🇦 🇪🇺
Onno (VK6FLAB)@fzer0 this reminds me of picking up a lost swan when I was about 14 years old. Everyone around me was panicking. I just gently picked it up, held its wings close to its body, ignored its hissing and walked two blocks from where I found it and put it down at the waters edge and stepped back. It looked at me, shook itself, waddled to the water and swam away. I'm still not sure if I was just lucky, or if people are freaked out by swans.
Drew 🇵🇭 ♾️@fzer0 Wish this worked with chickens.
Stingray Villa Cozumel@fzer0 i wish I had a duck
The elites don’t want you to know this but the ducks at the park are free.
You can take them home.
I have 458 ducks.
angelthorns@fzer0 Oh my ducking god that duck is adorable 😍
Synthyx
Mensch, Marina@fzer0 sehr hilfreich, very helpful should I ever need it ;-)
bit
Twotired
E. C. Bigribs
@Pepijn There was a bug in the cloaking device that day.
The actual story is that the swan was too old/tired/injured to fly south with the rest, and was wintering over in snowy/icy conditions. I guess animal control and the fire department flipped a coin, and the fire department lost, so they sent their guy out on a slushy lake with a net to be made a fool of.
Three days later, there was a photo in the newspaper of four firefighters grimly holding the swan.
Kobold