i wish abled people would realise how often disabled people accomodate them.

[whenever i need repair or maintance in my house] going out of my way to commnicate my needs to strangers, often including private health information i wish i didn't need to disclose to be believed, so they can plan around my disabilities with the least inconvenience to them.

[whenever i need a professional to help me] sitting around in waiting mode for many hours because i understand asking the professional to communicate about their planning better would be a waste of spoons.

[a few years ago when i could still] travel for many hours to a social event because i want to be there so much that i am i still willing to go there knowing i risk many days or even weeks of feeling miserable from having traveled.

[at most of my grandparents past birthdays] sitting outside on a bench or on the ground, in the rain or in sunshine that gives me a headache, because it's more important to not offend the one uncle who wants to smoke than to make sure the asthma patient can breathe.

bringing my own food to a social event because 'my allergies are too complicated'.

should i go on?

all examples above are from memories.

In all of these memories I was told I was too difficult or too demanding.
I have also been told many times that I don't care enough about family or another social group because I leave early or don't stay for dinner or sit outside by myself or don't socialise enough or in the right way.

I wish they would realise how much effort I had put in to be there at all, and that I was doing that because I cared about being there. And that small actions of accomodating on their side would have made it easier for me to be there or be there longer or stay connected when i couldn't be there anymore.

@skippingmoonrocks Ye olde good DARVO. I'm sorry you needed to go through that...
@skippingmoonrocks Most abled people only ever understand once they suffer themselves. And even then some just won't because they only ever thought about themselves in the first place.

@skippingmoonrocks Thanks for posting this message. I hope it will make an impact on at least a few people!

Sorry for all you have had to deal with in those examples. Sending love ❤️

PS. Very often I end up accommodating abled people (ignoring my own needs) without even realizing I'm doing it. So I needed to hear this message, too!

@ahimsa_pdx thank you Ahimsa. This tiny post got boosted far and wide, way more than I could have anticipated. So it reached some people. Maybe it does some good with a few of them. I'm glad it did for you <3
@weezmgk @skippingmoonrocks That's the most insightful thing I've read all year. Mind if I use it?
@sclower @weezmgk yeah, sure, go ahead.
because i'm a curious creature, if you end up using it, let me know about it?

Here's another one for you: cishet people acknowledging how often queer folks accommodate them.

We give them art, fashion, music, dance,.. culture.. and we support them emotionally through their relationships.

Because, y'know.. we want them to succeed. To say nothing of what we endure on their behalf.

@skippingmoonrocks

@skippingmoonrocks I live in a public-housing complex in one of the most arguably progressive cities in the U.S. Chastised for addressing my accommodation needs to management regarding workers masking in my apartment, I hung a sign with one hashtag addressing the specifics as to why masks are required, and two hashtags as to why they should strongly consider said simple request before entering my perimeter.
@mx_sumisu yeah, this is a ridiculous but very relatable example of having to disclose private info and fight to have very basic needs met. I have a note on my front door as well.
@skippingmoonrocks this is a really, really good point! I see this with my husband, who is disabled, and the daily work that's added to his plate, accommodating abled people. Obviously I try to minimise the load for him, but I truly didn't realize just how much work that takes for him until we married and I got to see his daily life properly. Disabled people sacrifice a lot that others don't know about.
@amorablackrose thanks for seeing the load and minimising it where you can. I have a few people like that in my life and their contributions are priceless. <3
@skippingmoonrocks My husband is an incredible man and I'm so thankful for him. The least I can do is try to help where I'm able-goodness knows he helps me enough. Teamwork and all that. Also, why would you not do what you can to make the life of someone you adore easier?(Though what seems like a no-brainer to me isn't always to others. I've seen some truly disgusting behaviour from some people's partners who claim to love and care for them😞) I'm so glad you have solid people💜
@skippingmoonrocks This hit me in all the feels and this should win a truth award
@skippingmoonrocks from your lips, to the Creator's ears.
@skippingmoonrocks I wish that too, because at the moment I have no clue at all and that feels wrong...