Do you think of safety when leaving your home or castle?

Please boost, vote twice and pass it on, this is all to open discussion

Hugz & xXx

P.s. as a trans, I always think of safety before leaving the castle, I also know there is a higher chance that i will be in a unsafe situation

No
37.1%
Yes cis male
21.1%
Yes cis female
15.4%
Yes trans, non binary, non conforming etc.
26.4%
Poll ended at .
@MelissaBearTrix I carry pepper spray and I’ve had to use it :/

@Elizafox

We can't carry in Australia

But I'm good at punching ... The truck is to punch though not at ... Giggles

Hugz & xXx

@MelissaBearTrix I voted no, but I do when leaving hotels etc in places I don't know well. I live in a rather safe, quiet location so...

@aoanla

I think that's just common sense, activating self protection

Hugz & xXx

@MelissaBearTrix Yes, I do. I might be a cis male *checks - yep* but I'm a gay cis male, and the potential for crap is always there.

@MarkAsser

Hugz ... It's a scary place outside ... But we must ... Hugz

Hugz & xXx

@MelissaBearTrix

I’m concerned for everyone else’s safety but not so much my own. I do get concerned about the consequences for my family and friends if I was to get hurt.

I’m sure the fact that I’m a large white cis man contributes. I think my form of ADHD contributes more. In a crisis I get calmer and more focused.

I used to love the deep wide area focus I experienced flying hang gliders years ago, especially when taking off and landing.

https://makertube.net/w/7FAqjjSoHqDZM45799T4ez

Taking off and hang gliding at Mt Holyoke over the Connecticut River (1997)

PeerTube

@MelissaBearTrix

More thoughts about safety.

With the rise of virulent fascism in the US I do wonder more about my safety.

I can’t accept bullying.

When the ICE domestic terrorists come to my community I won’t let them hurt folks. I will block them. At the same time I know they are trigger happy goons and all I have is my willingness to stand in front of them. They might well shoot me.

I am very concerned how that will affect my family and friends.

@MelissaBearTrix

And I love that you ask interesting questions! I enjoy reading all the replies.

@stepheneb

Hugz ... Thank you

It's the replies I love most ... Hugz

Hugz & xXx

@MelissaBearTrix I am a cis white male who knows how absolutely bonkers the world is, particularly other cis white males.

I appreciate how much worse it is for people who aren't in my situation too.

@PatrickoftheG

Hugz ... You would be a safe person to be with ... Hugz

Hugz & xXx

@PatrickoftheG @MelissaBearTrix Same here, but I don’t worry much about safety. I’m old enough that it doesn’t matter too much anymore.

@MelissaBearTrix

As a white cis male, I value the sense of security the Atlantic Ocean provides.

(Sorry for friendly fire, though.)

@MelissaBearTrix

Just like any other woman, I have to always be aware of my safety when going out. I carry my keys in my hand. If you know, you know...

When I could present as a dude, nobody touched me. I also learned the skill of being the fastest runner to avoid bullying, but never competed as I despised the hell out of competitive sports.

@dianea

Hugz ... I can't run, I would trip over my legs ... Seriously

Could be why I get punched in the nose so often

Hugz & xXx

@MelissaBearTrix
No, cis male. I do look around in general as I walk to my car or whatever but it's not with any sense of danger. Which is how it should be for everyone 😑

@MelissaBearTrix

As a cis male with some kind of strong build, I'm rarely concerned about safety, and despite this once I got followed by two guys who wanted to beat the shit out of me because reasons (they mentioned some vague improper driving style, which was probably false).

I managed to evade the confrontation by locking myself in my car.

That was a scary experience, but it didn't leave any kind of trauma, and I still feel safe when outside.

This always makes me think about privilege.

@MelissaBearTrix Not really other than general situational awareness. cis-female (senior).

@MelissaBearTrix cis male but brown - I've *constantly* got personal safety in the back of my mind, whilst on the street, when driving, at social events.

I did use to be a raver so was previously in a lot of places with heavy drug and alcohol use - whilst 95% of people in those circles are cool, there's 5% who are not and although I'm older and sober now, the situations you encountered on that scene stay with you..

@MelissaBearTrix

I haven't been anywhere other than shopping and medical appointments (mine and other people's), in my car, for a long time, so the biggest risk is collision.

But my wife's gynecologist needs security staff guarding the access elevator, because they perform abortions in the clinic.

Now increased to guards outside his office door because he is originally Iranian.

@MelissaBearTrix
As a cis black male my safety is all I think about whenever I'm not at home. Avoid groups of white people, swf, and definitely police or security people.
@MelissaBearTrix ill be honest as a not at all passing trans girl i dont, but at the same time self defense is basically illegal here anyways so
@MelissaBearTrix I'm trans, and quite visibly autistic, it has never been not a question in my life
@MelissaBearTrix I am the main menace to my own safety, so I concentrate on not tripping on my own feet, walking into a pole or getting myself run over.
(Cis F)

@temptoetiam

You sound like me, a clutz ... Giggles

I have the same issues ... Hugz

Hugz & xXx

@MelissaBearTrix @temptoetiam sometimes it is not your fault though, but overcrowding, and poor location of street furniture and sub-par urban planning..
@MelissaBearTrix
Only for the sake of the family... Fifty years of depression has me unafraid of death, dismemberment, et al
@MelissaBearTrix i said yes (cis male) but I'm thinking about traffic / crossing busy roads on foot type safety, not interpersonal safety.

@MelissaBearTrix

Yes, cis male. I believe I have complex PTSD so my thoughts of safety are likely out of proportion with my actual risk, especially in inner suburban Australia.

@MelissaBearTrix Before I moved to my current place, yes, I always was aware. I’m very fortunate to have been able to afford to move to a place that is very accepting and tolerant. I see LGBTQ+ around me most every time I go out, and pride and Black Lives Matter signs and flags

@MelissaBearTrix yeah. Usually more in specific situations, and usually at night: walking to my car, walking along the river, around people that seem to be behaving erratically.

In Adelaide there’s a memorial to George Duncan, a gay man who was murdered for being gay: beaten, thrown in the river Torrens, and drowned. And I think about that whenever I’m near the river.

@MelissaBearTrix it also impacts my actions if I’m near other strangers. Particularly if they’re femme presenting and on their own in similar situations. I’ll often cross to the other side of the street, and try to make my presence known (e.g. footsteps audible), so I don’t surprise people, or make them feel cornered.

@shieldsy05

You're a sweet one ... Why can't most male people be like that ... Thank you

Hugz & xXx

@MelissaBearTrix nope, but as a cis white male with a larger build, I realize I am almost never going to be a target.
@MelissaBearTrix I generally think more about others safety than my own, but I still count that as thinking about safety when leaving the castle.

@MelissaBearTrix The times I have felt unsafe have been...

around the cinemas on George St in the city at night with lots of loud idiots making noise.

After the MG parade when walking back down the route the crowd suddenly feels like "lets bash a freak"

In Annandale one night when walking with B and someone threw an egg at us from a car, and another car had people call us faggots

Bear in mind, I am a big white guy, like... The sort most people would look at and give way to, despite generally being a complete pussy

@stufromoz

Hugz

I was once bashed on MG night and also once in reserve street Annandale

And yeah those asshats that chuck eggs often down Parramatta road

Hugz

Hugz & xXx

@MelissaBearTrix IT is funny how the mood can turn from "happy happy" to "we should hit some fags" in less than an hour, because some straight boys felt a bit threatened by how they enjoyed the show...

@stufromoz

It's shocking to think just how quick ... Hugz

Hugz & xXx

@MelissaBearTrix (female) when I am in cities or hotels yes, but I voted no because we can leave the door open even if we leave the house for hours. I never lock my car either. (Countryside in Portugal) The biggest danger are the people closest to you. I was victim but decided to not let that control my life.

@MelissaBearTrix My stress concerning going out is less than it used to be because I pass better, yet I still assess the risks and will sometimes carry tear gas (bought after I got assaulted).

Please do not use "trans" without an accompanying noun as it gives the wrong message. Numerous people will not understand you mean "a trans person of whatever gender/sex" and will instead take it as "oh you're a transgender". It's not great either semantically or politically.

@MelissaBearTrix cis male, mixed race, weirdo that had to survive in rural Texas. Let's just say I try to maintain constant situational awareness.

I'm shocked that fewer cis females think of safety compared to cis males.

@kevin

I think you would find it about correct with the percentage of cis females / cus males ... I would think there are 3 if not 4 times more cis males than cis females

Hugz & xXx

@MelissaBearTrix It took me a second but I understand what you're saying: this poll is skewed because my demographic is overly represented here.
@MelissaBearTrix
nonbinary, I mostly think about safety when I'm at home alone/someone I'm not familiar with has to visit, but not much when I go out

@MelissaBearTrix As a cis gay man, yes, I think about my safety a lot in a Republican dominated state.

I use a scale of: As a man, could I wear programming socks and a skirt to this location?*

Oftentimes, the answer cannot reach a quantified yes or a barely yes. Due to the fact in transit, the level of danger or safety is in even greater flux.

*(No, this isn't actually my egg beginning to crack. I do find it surreal that if a man exercises the freewill to wear a skirt, colorful stockings, and cute shoes in public...That gets a disproportional and often hostile reaction. Instead of being leery of open carry individuals that I find to be far more unsettling).

@MelissaBearTrix depends on the time of day and where I'm going. I'm trans and queer but usually percieved as cis and straight I believe.
@MelissaBearTrix when I started dressing differently from cis boring men, yes, I became a lot more conscious about my safety.
@MelissaBearTrix why ist there No "No" for me as a Transgender women? 😐

@DarkTrinity

Sorry, I wasn't planning on categorising, the no's ... And also I only have 4 options

Hugz & xXx

@MelissaBearTrix never mind 🙂

@DarkTrinity

Was I supposed to reply differently ... I'm blonde, that's the only defence I have ... Giggles

Hugz & xXx

@MelissaBearTrix I'd be curious about what the no breakdown was.

@ariaflame

A guest would be mostly males

Hugz & xXx

@MelissaBearTrix yes, cis female. Always think of safety before i leave home. Sometimes just little things like making sure all the car doors are locked before i drive off. And looking out for things that seem dodgy/potentially so and avoiding those if possible. Like people with raised voices, intense gestures or swearing (not the conversational kind).