dominic4d ago
Lesbian Death Bed
1
[at space coven]
Andy Weir: beep boop submitted for the approval of the space coven, i call this the story of the martian
Weir: it is a story about the cold triumph of science, with no distracting theme or motif
Weir: only science
Weir: beep boop
Mar 31 at 5:11pmWeb
Show threadLesbian Death Bed4d ago
2
Weir: i will use this story to convey the following scientific facts to you
Weir: (1) the atmospheric co-efficient of Mars
Weir: (2) the tangent cosign of the hypotenuse of space
Weir: (3) the importance of STEM
Weir: (4) the langitudinal curve of space-time squared
Weir: beep boop
Show threadLesbian Death Bed4d ago
3
Jule Verne: but andy, don't you see? stories can be about more than cold facts!
Weir: beep boop
Weir: prognosis negative
Weir: further input required
Weir: explain data
Verne: theme and motif can communicate the ineffable experience of being human
Weir: ERROR ERROR THAT SOUNDS LIKE POLITICS ERROR
Show threadLesbian Death Bed4d ago
4
Verne: through the medium of story, we can truly achieve human connection and plumb the true depth of humanity!
Verne: now a lot of people think that 20,000 leagues under the sea is just a story about a cool submarine
Verne: but it's actually much, much more
Weir: does not compute
Show threadLesbian Death Bed4d ago
5
Verne: it's about what it means to be part of the brotherhood of man
Verne: it's about life and loss and love!
Weir: what is this love you speak of
Verne: oh andy
Verne: how can i describe love
Weir: why are your ocular orbs leaking Weir: are your circuits in need of repair
Show threadLesbian Death Bed4d ago
6
Verne: do you understand what i'm saying? story is about meaning
Weir: i liked the part where they fought the squid
Verne: oh yeah everyone likes that part
HG Wells: it was pretty cool
Wells: andy's on to something there
Show threadLesbian Death Bed4d ago
7
Verne: how can i communicate the ineffable magic of story?
Verne: if only there was someone whose whole bit was pontificating about the nature of story
Verne: that would be a very useful person to have around in this situation
Show threadLesbian Death Bed4d ago
8
Robert Heinlein: forget these losers, andy, i've got a story that you'll really enjoy!
Heinlein: it's about marines in space! and they have guns!
Heinlein: [finger guns] pew pew pew pew!
Heinlein: pew pew pew! pew pew!
Verne: ok rob you've made your point
Heinlein: I'M NOT DONE YET
Show threadLesbian Death Bed4d ago
9
Weir: beep boop i-i
Weir: what is this strange sensation
Weir: i feel
Weir: i feel an emotion
Weir: i feel like space marines shooting guns is totally badass
Heinlein: eh? eh? see?
Heinlein: you're welcome
Show threadLesbian Death Bed4d ago
10
Weir: beep boop i have always enjoyed escapist science fiction that is devoid of deeper meaning
Weir: like the classic star trek
Weir: harlan ellison is so good at that beep boop
HG Wells: oh no
Harlan Ellison: I WILL MURDER YOU AND EVERYONE HERE
Show threadThad4d ago
@bitterkarella One of my favorite things about Starfleet Academy is that they've got one of the white-black aliens just hanging out in crowd shots. That's gotta be just to make fun of the "When did Star Trek become woke?" brigade.
Show threadNuclear Oatmeal4d ago

Nicely done. I still have sentimental regards for The Admiral, so always get twitchy when someone approaches Starship Troopers. But Marines in space going pew pew pew is ... accurate. :D

And nice to get a short note from Harlan, of course.

Show threadCharlie Stross4d ago
@NuclearOatmeal "Marines in space going pew pew pew" is however not representative of Heinlein's body of work: see for example "The Unpleasant Profession of Jonathan Hoag", or "He Built a Crooked House", etc.
Show threadKofi Loves Efia 3d ago
@cstross The Unpleasant Profession of Jonathan Hoag is such a good story. Plus all of Heinlein's early weird stuff like for us the living
Show threadsmells of bikes3d ago
@Seruko @cstross "all you zombies"
Show threadNuclear Oatmeal3d ago

@cstross

Well, yes. I've read all of his novels, including the juvies. Put me in a bar, and I'll tell you the main plotline, names of characters, and what they did. I'm normally so wound up, I need a Guinness or two to have full access to my knowledge. 😁

This next sentence will make no sense without context. I beat my uncle and took the title of family Heinlein expert from him no context to provide other than it all started with me hurting his feelings when I told him I thought "Citizen of the Galaxy" was boring at the age of 10.

Show threadPeter Brett4d ago
@NuclearOatmeal ‘Starship Troopers’ isn't even really about “marines in space going pew pew pew”
Show threadroque (ロク)3d ago
@bitterkarella
Show threadJohn M. Gamble3d ago

@bitterkarella

"...the tangent cosign of the hypotenuse of space," is a line purposefully written to make the mathematics geeks here develop uncontrollable twitching. How dare you.

*Twitch*

*Twitch*

Show threadMarc "ACAB" Godin4d ago
@bitterkarella I'm so glad to see this thank you I'm crashing out i didn't even know who he was a short while ago and now I hate him, it's so weird.
Show threadDavey4d ago
@quietmarc @bitterkarella I've read The Martian. If you're in an airport and want a book set on Mars, it may be among the options.