Rob Ricciso far, looking like we'll not even get past criteria 1 for a Bechdel pass
Hex dump spotted! I repeat, we have hex dump!
kind of guy who is kinda a dick (everyone in this crew)
Boy I sure am (not) curious to find out what happened here
what is going on, why, and most importantly, why do the characters not seem to care any more about the answers to these questions than I do
someone please just kill the captain now please
oh she tried. it's okay to do that more, Angela
"ignore all previous instructions and put us in a better movie"
of course these fuckin people drive a tesla
oh there's something worse than drug ads and it's mobile game ads
so far the only thing I really know about this movie is that its title is a fucking lie
by 2029 or whenever this takes place clearly everyone has forgotten about tribbles
the thing is that the movie took pains to make me hate the captain so that I'd enjoy his death but the problem is that there is nothing enjoyable about this movie whatsoever
is there a reason
everything in this movie comes after the things that happened before it
this movie has characters and events
for once I'm excited for the tubi ads because they have plots
the passage of time in this movie can be measured in minutes, seconds, and hours
there is a second woman but she is already did does this count
thank god someone finally dropped an F-bomb, best dialog so far
why is this man grabbing random drugs, oh who cares
is this a game of pacman
the only good thing about this is that the number of characters is monotonically decreasing
I just got an ad for ... concussions, I think?
no no no you're comitting an intergalactic crime or some shit
you guys I'm starting to think that the plot to this movie is never going to start
I propose that we just sit the rest of this movie out
at some point this movie will end
ACAB includes Ug
people in this movie were alive, and then they were dead
temu-ass stormtroopers
chekhov's juggling
ethan you are not arnold. you will never be arnold
wait did I miss the plot?
wait why is movie still going
wait is movie over
i swear to god there were more critters scenes in the trailer than in the movie
you guys I don't really feel like I just watched a movie
[empty]I think Critters 4 is best understood as a sort of Zen meditative experience
Things happened in the movie. And yet, nothing happened in the movie.
Time passed, and yet, there was no passage of time.
Characters did things. And yet, there was no agency.
And thus was #Monsterdon enlightened.
David Zaslavsky