Tanek Rune5h ago
πŸ…°πŸ…»πŸ…ΈπŸ…²πŸ…΄ (πŸŒˆπŸ¦„)

Do you do OSINTΒΉ before going on a date with / meeting someone in person?

ΒΉ Open-source intelligence (e.g. web searches, background checks, social media tracking, etc)

Β² I've opted to split this into masc/femme-presenting categories; please pick whichever you think is closer to your typical presentation.

Β³ If this poll doesn't resonate with you, don't worry, there'll be others.

#Dating #OSINT

I'm masc-presenting; No
I'm masc-presenting; Yes, some
I'm masc-presenting; Yes, a lot
I'm femme-presenting; No
I'm femme-presenting; Yes, some
I'm femme-presenting; Yes, a lot
Poll ends at .
8:55pmWeb
Show threadFlipper πŸ¬πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ5h ago
@alice I've already mated for life, so idk.
Show threadπŸ…°πŸ…»πŸ…ΈπŸ…²πŸ…΄ (πŸŒˆπŸ¦„)4h ago
@flipper I don't understand...
Show threadJuniper πŸ³οΈβ€βš§οΈπŸŒ²5h ago
@alice I wonder how who you are dating affects this
Show threadPretergeek5h ago
@alice It doesn't resonate with me, or does it? Here is the thing, I don't date unless I have known the person for a while, usually friends already. So, no web searches, etc. But it also means I have been "observing" the person for a long time and I guess that is OSINT too. I guess getting to know someone is OSINT, just analog.
Show threadpromℒ️4h ago
@alice I’m femsy-leaning masc; my dates are invisible online, or hard to search for, or they come from scenes where the OSINT is automatic. As implied, I do have a risk calculation. My inner girl protects me from cis-fem toxicity.
Show threadε»ƒε’ŸηŒ« πŸˆπŸŒˆπŸˆβ€β¬›πŸˆπŸˆβ€β¬›πŸˆβ€β¬›4h ago
@alice I don't, but I always do a 1st date somewhere public like a cafe, or a walk in the park, and not involving alcohol. As I date women, it's safer for everyone that way.
Show threadDidthat3h ago

@Haikyoneko

Aww just in love.

Show threadDidthat3h ago

@Haikyoneko

True love is not a coffee ,or a walk in the park, it is in the back of a cab when her high heels mark the ceiling.

Show threadWeird Socks4h ago
@alice
Does reading their posts here count?
[Flutters eyelashes]
Show threadπŸ…°πŸ…»πŸ…ΈπŸ…²πŸ…΄ (πŸŒˆπŸ¦„)3h ago
@ohmu yes. I still hold that Fedi is the best dating app I've ever seen.
Show threadShane4h ago

@alice

You mean meet people, in person? Are you crazy? Why would I do that?  

Show threadh3mmy 2h ago

@alice
I feel like it's fairly simple due diligence. If I agree to meet someone for coffee, and a couple of quick searches reveal that regularly post hate speech on one of their socials, I would be quite likely to rescind my meetup.

It's mostly a "Is this person who they say they are?" followed by a safety check to help build the factors for "What safety hazards exist for this interaction?" That section will also have factors unrelated to the person, like location, time of day, etc.

Context also matters. If I'm doing something that I don't want to leave digital breadcrumbs for, I may want to avoid adding new hits to public datasets.

Show threadToekneegee1h ago
@alice
I've been married for long enough/am old enough that I don't do any OSINT. I get the feeling that femme presenting people my age need to be more careful, though, and really do need to take the precaution.
Show threadLongspeak20m ago
@alice I can't vote on this, I think. I predate OSINT (at least the examples given) and I met my one and only girlfriend/fiancee/wife at a D&D game. She thought I was an asshole. She had a girlfriend so I assumed she was a lesbian. I WAS (am?) an asshole. She wasn't a lesbian. From such humble beginnings, romance.
Show threadEvan Prodromou14m ago
@alice I find it irritating when someone I've just met has no idea who I am, and I find it creepy when people know so much detail they must have spent hours researching. Somewhere in the middle is good.
Show threadCourt Cantrell does not comply11m ago
@alice Married going on 28 years here. So I sure hope I don't need to OSINT spouse before we have one of our too-rare dates! (Parents of a 13yo. We has a big big tired.)
Show threadπŸ…°πŸ…»πŸ…ΈπŸ…²πŸ…΄ (πŸŒˆπŸ¦„)8m ago

@courtcan I've gotten several such answers, and I was like, "but why would that stop you from going on a date with someone?" πŸ’πŸΌβ€β™€οΈπŸ€¦πŸΌβ€β™€οΈ

Here I'd forgotten monogamy was a thing πŸ˜…

Show threadNilaJones9m ago

@alice

When I was internet dating I didn't do this for the first meeting, but I would do it later on, a little bit, if it started to look like things were going to go somewhere