theM0ntarCann0n5d ago
Alice 
Hi #fediverse. We need to talk about something.

While talking to a colleague it came up that they have never sat on a chair. Like, not even once in their childhood.

Another colleague listening in admitted they also have never sat on a chair.

My hypothesis is that most people have at one point in their life sat on a chair.

💺 🪑

Have you sat on a chair?

Please boost for scientific accuracy.
No
8.7%
Yes
45.5%
Maybe
14.4%
What
31.4%
Poll ended at .
Mar 19 at 9:45pmWeb
Show threadOzzelot Mar 19
@alice i have chaired on a seat.
Show threadkolunmiMar 19
@alice boosting for a chairitable cause 😃
Show threadEfi (nap pet) 🦊💤Mar 19
@alice they are lying and/or live deep in the forest
Show threadJenny (cozy node) Mar 19
@alice Is this like that Carlin bit, "fuck you I'm not getting on the plane, I'm getting in the plane?" Because if so, I've still sat on a chair. (In my experience it seems that while bisexuals sit sideways or backwards in chairs, pansexuals perch atop the back like gargoyles.)
Show threadAlice Mar 19
@SymTrkl no, it's a subpost of pretty much everyone
Show threadAlice Mar 19
@SymTrkl

https://sk.waf.moe/notes/ak1fsarp848g005a
https://mastodon.social/@GroupNebula563/116257273771529145
https://hachyderm.io/@datarama/116250470114485530
https://tech.lgbt/@tay/116250379213473929
https://wetdry.world/@freeplay/116250335051144671
https://infosec.exchange/@catsalad/116250312744812844
https://mastodon.online/@Pepijn/116246110764191383
https://mastodon.online/@Pepijn/115645813940637553
nomaakip :neofox_flag_lesbian: (sharkey edition) (@nomaakip)

Hi #fediverse. We need to talk about something. While talking to a colleague about how I recently learned most people have never meowed it came up that she has never waffed. Like, not even once during childhood. Another colleague admitted they also have never waffed. My hypothesis is that most people have at one point in their life waffed. :neofox_floof: :neofox_boop::neofox_pat_floof: Have you ever waffed? Please boost for scientific accuracy. (📊)

WAFkey
Show threadJenny (cozy node) Mar 20
@alice ohh, the meme 
Show threadYenn dc ☂️Mar 21

@alice

These polls sure have gotten a… development…

Show threadAlice Mar 21
@yenndc there were a few more after mine, like https://twoot.site/@nightjar/116258130383854439
goatsucker (@[email protected])

Content warning: yeah okay I guess this is lewd

Twootsite
Show threadYenn dc ☂️Mar 22

@alice

Somehow I'm unsurprised… x)

Show threadNazoMar 19
@alice Wow, this meme took off hard... 😆
Show threadHappyStarDiazMar 19
@alice is this real?
Show threadAlice Mar 19
@happystardiaz 100% real post, you're not in a dream and i can see your reply
Show threadAndrew (Television Executive)Mar 19
@alice horse
Show threadAlice Mar 19
@ajroach42 ​:horse_overjoyed_crunchy:​
Show threadstibbonsMar 19
@alice Y'all are sitting?!
Show threadJill ☁️Mar 19
@alice What happened to the cows?
Show threadAlice Mar 19
@jill they got sat on
Show threadIrenes (many)Mar 19
@alice we saw the thing this is referencing but we don't remember what it actually was, which makes it funnier
Show threadToilet full of bugsMar 19
@alice I don't need to, I just fart continuously and the force keeps me hovering in mid-air.
Show threadAlex RMar 19
@alice as a queer person, I've never knowingly sat in a chair when I could instead drape myself sideways over it somehow
Show threadPrincess Serena Star ✨Mar 19
@alice wait so that horse poll was a shitpost?
Show threadAlice Mar 20
@Starcross the horse one wasn't, no

there was a cow one from the same person back in december too

everything else was shitposts tho
Show threadAlice Mar 20
@Starcross

https://twoot.site/@nightjar/116258130383854439
https://infosec.exchange/@InsiderTreat/116258066879555598
https://infosec.exchange/@InsiderTreat/116258059728600339 (same but missing a poll)
(mine)
https://sk.waf.moe/notes/ak1fsarp848g005a
https://mastodon.social/@GroupNebula563/116257273771529145
https://hachyderm.io/@datarama/116250470114485530
https://tech.lgbt/@tay/116250379213473929
https://wetdry.world/@freeplay/116250335051144671
https://infosec.exchange/@catsalad/116250312744812844
https://mastodon.online/@Pepijn/116246110764191383
https://mastodon.online/@Pepijn/115645813940637553

here are all of the ones I can see from my instance, recent to oldest

the last 2 were genuine
goatsucker (@[email protected])

Content warning: yeah okay I guess this is lewd

Twootsite
Show threadMecrispMar 20
@alice Yes, I have... But I prefer to sit on a nice horse instead. Maybe I should try a cow next time to compare the ergonomics?
Show threadSpork ✌️Mar 20
@alice your colleagues are liars
Show threadAlice Mar 20
@spork click the hashtag
Show threadSpork ✌️Mar 20
@alice 🤌
Show threadEvelynMar 20
@alice Because atoms never touch, no one has ever sat on anything ​​
Show threadBoring Nondescript Little WormMar 20
@alice I haven't, but I have sat on a seat before. Does that count?
Show threadAlice Mar 20
@HuguesRoss only if the seat has a drawing of a horse on it
Show threadJessMar 20
@alice depends how you define 'chair'
Show threadAlice Mar 20
@jf let's say a horse
Show threadjohnny anhedonicMar 20
@alice i would need an independent observer to confirm
Show threadwagStoyMar 20
@alice ill sit this one out
Show threadAlice Mar 20
@swags well done
Show threadwagStoyMar 20
@alice thx. i wanna be a stand up comedian some day. think id be alright
Show threadSordid Amok!Mar 20
@alice I'm trying to quit.
Show threadSiliwanMar 20
@alice what is cahir? Can one nomms it? 👉👈 ​​
Show threadAlice Mar 20
@siliwan yes :3
Show threadSiliwanMar 20
@alice yaaaay nomses cahir ​​
Show threadSteven ReedMar 20
@alice the most important question is, of course, about the technique ..
Show threadKushal Das   🇸🇪Mar 20
@alice where I grew up most of us had chairs in house, but many others did not have them.
Show threadAlice Mar 20
@kushal fair, but this was a subpost
Show threadKushal Das   🇸🇪Mar 20
@alice I still don’t understand sub posts, I just thought of writing this information. Sorry if I did a mistake.
Show threadAlice Mar 20
@kushal see

RE: https://mk.nyaa.place/notes/ak1r95tv5h7402bq
Show threadKushal Das   🇸🇪Mar 21
@alice I think i understood now
Show threadJust a UnicornMar 20
@alice are your colleagues savages? Everyone has sat on a chair.
Show threadAlice Mar 20
@theUnicorn but what if those chairs were horses
Show threadJakub Klawiter Mar 20
@alice
Is this one of those jokes for native speakers?
:>
Show threadAlice Mar 20
@wariat it's a joke for those who have seen the other 10 or so posts like this
Show threadLeoniekeMar 20
@alice 
Show threadGoblinMar 20

@alice

In the Sahel Region in Africa, people traditionally sit on carpets on the floor.

I think it‘s quite possible, that some people there never sit in chairs for many years.

Show threadAlice Mar 20
@goblin there are quite a lot of places where people would traditionally sit on carpets, yeah

that said, this was a subpost of the same horse post everyone was subposting
Show thread⁂ Fish Id WardrobeMar 20
@alice no, but then, i *am* a horse
Show threadDigital Mark λ ☕️ 🕹 👽3d ago

@alice I have a submissive vampire who serves as my chair.

Yes, I *am* large and bony.