Mastodawn

david M brooke 22h ago

Just seen someone saying they support bans on trans healthcare for under 18s because “let kids be kids”.

By the time I hit puberty, I had KNOWN for a decade.

I also knew that telling anyone would be profoundly dangerous.

So I hid who I was and, am almost grateful that the neurodivergence gave the other kids something else to latch on to. They were so busy calling me a “mong” that they didn’t notice I was trans.

Because that might have got me murdered.

Or pushed me into a position where I felt I had no options other than the same end result.

So I hid it.

And I hid it really well.

And one of the things that happens when a 5 year old child is terrified of their parents, or their families, or the school bullies finding out who they really are is that they end up traumatised.

A 5 year old child. Traumatised and ashamed.

Ashamed because adults openly talked about them.

Or people like them.

And what they said was horrific. What they said made it very clear that they would regard their own kids as subhuman monsters if they ever found out.

So we hid. And an important part of ourselves died in childhood. A light that should have shone, went out.

I’ve tried my best to rekindle it.

I’ve managed somewhat but it will never be right. Not really. I’ve made peace with that.

“Let kids be kids”. Trans kids like me never got to be.

Because of people who say things like that.

Nikkileah 🎮🚄🏳️‍⚧️🇬🇧1d ago

@goatsarah 🫂🫂🫂

Nikkileah 🎮🚄🏳️‍⚧️🇬🇧1d ago

@goatsarah permission to repost and share?

Sarah Brown 1d ago

@Nikkileah Please do!

Daniel Reeders 1d ago

@goatsarah This is so well said.

I wish I didn't have to lose my childhood because I had to manage the feelings of mentally ill adults who never learned to manage their own emotions.

I'm lucky in that my spirit was more dormant than actually extinguished.

My og puberty was one of the worst things that happened to me. And it directly coincided with me being emotionally and physically abused by my parents (particularly my birth mother)

Netraven 18h ago

@burnoutqueen @goatsarah same. Leaving them all behind permanently and speaking to a therapist helped a lot, but ya. I’d still rather just tell people I’m not human, so they can dismiss me in advance as it’s easier when I know no one is thinking about me.

Just reply to him with a few accounts of trans women getting a laryngectomy. You're just doing it to support his fetish of forcing people to cut their own throats by denying them the ONLY CHANCE they will EVER have to do something about it hormonally. You don't get a second puberty!

"I want to ban anyone from hormones until they're 18." == "I want to cut open people's throats."

diana 🏳️‍⚧️🦋🌱1d ago

I knew at a very young age what would happen if I told anyone. There were several times at a young that I was seconds from coming out. Staying in the closet saved my life as I would find out when I did come out to my parents decades later. What would have happened is something I think about a lot. They still try when given the opportunity and my safety is more important.

Feike 🇪🇺🇳🇱 🚫👑1d ago

@goatsarah let's not discriminate on the grounds of sex, gender, or one's morale. Especially children, to whom we, the society, deny the full power of autonomy to; but appearantly we DO held children accountable for the decisions we deny them autonomy over.

Feral Fury 🏴‍☠️ 🏳️‍🌈 🫂🔞1d ago

"Let kids be kids" is such a meaningless phrase. The reality is the vast majority of those saying it would never do what it says either. So its a way of spotting hypocrites. The reality is its extremely rare to find any adult, parent or otherwise, who would let a non-adult have any measure of freedom. Thank you for sharing your story.

ChloChloaca 1d ago

@goatsarah "Let kids be kids" is a dog whistle for a genocide.

If kids can't be trans, then trans adults don't exist.

Because everyone knows that someone doesn't just "become" something else when they hit some magical age.

So that kind of rhetoric is just a friendly-sounding way to say "I support genocide."

GreenSkyOverMe (Monika)1d ago

Let trans kids be trans kids.

Let trans kids be happy kids.

Let trans kids be alive kids.

Give them trans healthcare.

Fish Id Wardrobe ⁂1d ago

@goatsarah people who say "let kids be kids" have forgotten what it was like to be a kid. they mean "let kids be like in The Famous Five" or, worse, "let kids be invisible to me".

@fishidwardrobe @goatsarah Oof... The Famous Five... and who did I identify most with - George. The tomboy. Especially how in the first books she was forced into skirts.

I knew there were lots of signs. But that's one I hadn't noticed before. And it's a big one.

Kara Goldfinch 23h ago

@goatsarah Yes, well said.

@goatsarah
Let trans kids be trans kids.
@bekit

Verđandi K Soldusty 18h ago

@goatsarah
🫂🫂

Jean-François Mezei 17h ago

@goatsarah I ask this to learn, not to pass judgement.

How did you know at age 5 that your mental sex did not match physical one? Because you prefered playing with dolls with other girls instead of Tonka trucks with other boys? (pardon the cliché, I want to learn)

While with hindsight, you can confidently state the signs that were there at 5 ended up being long term, but when you were 5, would you have known this "issue" was to be permanent as opposed to just a passing phase of growing up?

:EA DATA. SF:13h ago

@jfmezei @goatsarah

How did you know your "mental sex" matched your "physical sex" at age 5?

I assume the way you were being socialized, the nicknames you were given, the clothing you were provided, the behavior that was encouraged, the colors you were permitted to like, the stuffed animals you had, the toys you were given all matched who you thought you were.

From birth, you are immediately are inundated with "girls should be like this; boys should be like that". It's everywhere, down to the color your room is painted and whether or not they put a bow in your first whispy hairs.

As soon as you can see boys and girls are treated differently, you can tell which side you'd rather be on. If it matches, you'll never notice. If it doesn't match, then you have gender dysphoria.

Jean-François Mezei 12h ago

@jrdepriest @goatsarah Fair enough. But aren't there many who act different as kids (girls who are tom boys for instance) but once puberty/hormones kick in, end up naturally growing into their body's sex?

My curiosity is about how/when one knows this is your permanent self identity vs just passing phase between kid and finishing puberty.

Is there a way to determine this when someone is just 5 ?
Not opposed to someone being who they want to be. Just curious when this can be determined

:EA DATA. SF:11h ago

@jfmezei @goatsarah

My wife was a tomboy. She played with Tonka trucks in her sandbox and the last time she wore makeup or a dress was almost thirty years ago at our wedding.

She never once thought about being a boy.

You cannot understand gender dysphoria if you've never felt it. You don't have to understand it. Just believe people when they tell you.

She doesn't understand gender dysphoria, either. But she loves me and she knows how much happier I am since I transitioned.

Jean-François Mezei 11h ago

@jrdepriest @goatsarah Have 0 problem with adults deciding for themselves. People should be free to be who they want to be. That is what freedom and liberty is all about.

Since original was about issue of transitioning as a kid, my question is how one can know this is permanent disphoria as a kid vs just a temporary phase of life.

Can physically male kid wear pink and play with girls and wait till later for formal transition? (and with parent's support)

Sarah Brown 11h ago

@jfmezei @jrdepriest I. Knew.

:EA DATA. SF:10h ago

@goatsarah @jfmezei

:EA DATA. SF:10h ago

@jfmezei @goatsarah

Gender dysphoria in children exists. Doctors and scientists who went to school to learn how to study this kind of thing agree that it exists. You do not understand it. That is fine, that is fine. You do not have to.

Do you think they do gender reassignment surgeries on children? That's conservative fear mongering. The only treatments for kids are social transitioning and, eventually, puberty blockers. Puberty blockers keep the body from undergoing any permanent changes so they can figure out what they want to do. Stop the blockers and they have the puberty their in-built organs pump out. Start HRT and they have the other puberty.

What if a child assigned female at birth asks to be called "he" for six months and then changes her mind? So what? They were allowed to explore the option. Childhood should be a time when kids are not afraid to experiment and when their parents and family support them. For example, in many households, a little boy asking to be a princess for Halloween will get them beaten, punished. They don't have the freedom to find out if it's "just a phase" (which is such a dogwhistle).

In an ideal world, even if it is just temporary, they still get to try it out. No harm done.

Jean-François Mezei 8h ago

@jrdepriest @goatsarah Another question: until person reaches 18, the parents are legally in charge, right?

Between childhood and onset of puberty, would there need to be some psychologist/psychiatrist to determine the child does have disphoria, and then guide parents on how to properly deal/decide for child?

If puberty blockers only postpone need for actual treatment, at what age must THE decision be made for hormonal treatments?
Correct to assume surgery can wait till after 18?

Sarah Brown 11h ago

@jfmezei No. I played with Lego and climbed trees. Nothing about what I wanted to play with.

I just knew. It’s that simple. I knew I needed to be a girl.

The Witch of Crow Briar 14h ago

@goatsarah yes, all of this 🫂🫂🫂

Karen D 🇨🇦14h ago

@goatsarah
I'm sorry that was your experience. The best version I know was a coworker's grandchild. They told their parents after junior kindergarten they believed they were really a girl. Over the summer everyone got their shit together and the child went back to senior kindergarten as a girl. Their classmates at school got over the switch in about ten minutes and they've been a happy, contented kid ever since. The way it should be.

Starryeyesswitched 14h ago

@goatsarah 😔 I’m sorry.

@goatsarah Just relate to this so much. Never could quite put it into words. So thank you. My family were not so abusive nor were they violent but the shame. And guilt. I have recently been thinking about the lack of a childhood - in spite of best intentions. I have found I have almost no memories from childhood. My partner in spite of a very abusive upbringing has far more childhood memories. "best intentions" is my invention and not appropriate. Yet I still call their denial of my existence that. Thank you for sharing.

Erosdiscordia 10h ago

@goatsarah You're heard. This was well-said.

I'm doing my best to bring my light back out, too. 💜

Sasailu der Monddelphin ;o*8h ago

@goatsarah
Meine Verbeugung 🤘💪 ;o*

Lou 🏳️‍⚧️7h ago

@goatsarah
🫂
I have no idea if I knew so young because I have almost no memories from before 10-11, I'm sure that meant I had great fun /s 🙃