Mastodawn

Brian Baresch Mar 10

𝐿𝒶𝓃𝒶 "not yet begun to fight"

Let me predict the future for you:

- Oil stays above $100/barrel for a few days
- Trump panics as his poll numbers continue to drop
- Trump claims military victory via insane, rambling 2am Truth Social rant
- U.S. troops withdraw from Iran
- Mysterious day-old accounts somehow predict the exact day on Polymarket and make millions
- Israel is left holding the bag in a forever war with Iran which your tax dollars continue to fund
- Ayatollah's son gets a 40 year reign courtesy of your tax dollars
- Trump and Hegseth bomb Cuba next
- Trump starts claiming he "ended 9 wars" now

Dane 🌎🖖✌️☮️⚛️☸️🕉️Mar 9

@Lana Considering where we are, I'd say that's pretty spot on.

@Lana ugh scarily accurate

Sune Auken Mar 9

The fact that I don't think "this is outrageously stupid" is quite telling. You may well have called a lot of it.

Leo Schuldiner🤘🏼Mar 9

@Lana A missed one: - Trump wins the Supreme Peace Nobel of the Universe.

@leoschuldiner23 @Lana given to him by Stanley Nobel of Columbus, Ohio.

ROTOPE~1 ⭐️Mar 9

@leoschuldiner23 @Lana there's nothing stopping FIFA from giving Trump multiple peace prizes in a single year

Leo Schuldiner🤘🏼Mar 9

@rotopenguin @Lana any complaints? Just go to Switzerland and submit a request xD

Climate Jenny 2.1 Mar 9

@Lana Sadly, that sounds entirely plausible.

@Lana The Iranians perfect a nuclear dirty bomb and use it on Israel. Hilarity Ensues.

Wil Macaulay Mar 9

@Lana adding:
- the partial lifting of sanctions on Russian oil somehow stays in place
- US pauses any further supply of weapons to Ukraine because they’re needed at home
- $1B contract awarded to a company formed 2 days ago for replacement munitions

goedelchen Mar 9

@Tom_frog @Lana "- US pauses any further supply of weapons to Ukraine because they’re needed at home" Isn't it already paused since last July?

Wil Macaulay Mar 9

@goedelchen @Lana I may be wrong but I thought they were still supplying them if Europe paid for them?

ROTOPE~1 ⭐️Mar 9

@Lana if anything, your prediction doesn't sound stupid enough

JWcph, Radicalized By Decency Mar 9

@Lana Nostradamus level: 100%.

Rolf Blijleven 🔻Mar 9

@Lana You will let us know when to create mysterious day-old accounts on Polymarket, right?

Koos van den Hout Mar 9

@Lana NostraLana?

Krzysztof Sakrejda Mar 9

@Lana have you considered placing this as a bet on polymarket?

𝐿𝒶𝓃𝒶 "not yet begun to fight"Mar 9

@wronglang if I understood how to use Polymarket I absolutely would

Ritschi Alpenstern 🏔️💫Mar 9

@Lana The sad part is, given the alternatives, this is actually one of the better outcomes.

@Lana @cstross “Stocks Rebound After Trump Says Iran War Is ‘Very Complete’”

Guillotine Jones, Flâneur Mar 9

@adamrice @Lana @cstross
It was a perfect war, adamrice.

The Penguin of Evil Mar 9

@Lana Sounds about right -
I would add Iran blows various things up after the US leaves as a matter of pride and to show Trump is the loser.
Iran goes back to mass producing missiles and this time bothers to go nuclear
Trump and relatives become targets for bombings etc

TheJen will not comply Mar 9

@Lana Yep.

ChookMother 🇦🇺🦘Mar 10

@Lana Are there any troops in Iran? I thought it was all bombing? Anyway, I predict you're about 80% correct.

notsoloud Mar 10

@anne_twain
They are trying to arm the Kurds. (Or were. Who knows. No planning.) I think it is extremely likely that there are teams on the ground in the Kurdish areas. Quite possibly teams elsewhere too, but I don't know enough to predict where and of course it's covert.
@Lana

João Tiago Rebelo (NAFO J-121)Mar 10

@Lana not the bingo card I was looking for, but that's what the oiligarchs dealt...

Deb Nam-Krane Mar 10

@Lana Yeah, sounds about right

Rycochet Mar 10

@Lana They will invade Cuba after bombing every military and government building, including schools and hospitals, so they can have troops land and have state approved journalists on the ground to record them getting a 'win' over one of america's long term 'enemies', a country they have been trying to starve into collapse for decades. Control will be handed to florida politicians with members of the Trump family advising, and announcing plans for new casino resorts to return Cuba to the state it was in before the revolution. The inhabitants will not be consulted.

@Lana Sounds about right.

But a girl can dream, right? Maybe there's a massive stroke, a violent fall down stairs or out a window, a heart attack or *other* excruciatingly painful and fatal mishap on the cancerous piece of shit masquerading as our president. It would be the one silver lining on this shitty cloud. Fingers crossed.

Sharon McCarthy Mar 10

@Lana
Yep! I would add one - I surmise there are multiple groups planning a significant hostile event in the US for July 4 - 250th Bday. One is bound to be successful

@ienvision @Lana Oh… oh dear, yeah, I hadn’t considered that.

I’m starting to think we should go up to my mom’s cabin in the North Woods for the Fourth…

Katrina Katrinka

@Lana
Iran will keep attacking US. That's the only problem for Trump. He can't unilaterally end a war he started.

Gabriel Pettier Mar 10

@Lana there are indeed signs that he’s being pressured / looking into an exit ramp, and how to spin it as a victory, because the oil prices are not going down any time soon.
Unless they decide to go full-in, boots on the ground and all, but i wouldn’t bet on these odds.

The Israeli government wanted this war for a long time, it’s their mess, though the population (on both sides) needlessly suffers, the US paying for it either way is a very safe bet.

Freeman Crouch 1d ago

@Lana @freemancrouch Welp. It's Monday morning, and like, four or five bullets have come true.

Arniepix 1d ago

@Lana I'd say you're pretty close. BTW, it will be the biggest, most beautiful victory that we've ever seen. No one has ever seen anything like it.