Evan FreezeFeb 20
phooky
AI is already dead; we are pivoting to crabs. Within 5-6 years 80% of all jobs will be crabs. Begin hardening your dermis into a tough durable exoskeleton now or be left behind. Economic carcinization is coming
Feb 17 at 8:45pmWeb
Show threadOzzelot Feb 17
@phooky People born in July will have an unfair advantage, for they are already cancer!
Show threadAlsyFeb 18
@ozzelot @phooky Sometimes I go online and realise exactly how predictable my neural pathways really are. This is basically word for word what I was about to write 🦀
Show threadOzzelot Feb 18

@Alsy @phooky Or... there's 8 billion humans, a good few of them are bound to be similar, and there's a high likelihood some of those similar ones are going to congregate in a space that they like.

Basically, Fedi gonna Fedi.

Show threadallisonFeb 17
@phooky finally some new tech those mastodon nerds can get behind
Show threadkitFeb 17
@phooky we need the children to learn STEM: Scuttling, The Claw, Exuvia, Marine Biology
Show threadBen PfaffFeb 19
@kit @phooky ...or STEMZ (don't forget Zoidberg!)
Show threadFritz AdalisFeb 17
@phooky
You misread the article. The correct term isn't 'crabs', it's 'pubic lice'.
Show threadjleedevFeb 17
@phooky idea:
Show threadMad EngineeringFeb 18

@jleedev @phooky oh no.oh no.

...

  worker crabs, do do do do  
 noooooooooo

Show threadAnthony DavidFeb 17

@phooky

Let's all match sideways together, with Dr Zoidberg as our mascot.

Though we would have to give him a title like "President" to get him to be our mascot. There is precedence.

Show threadRoger H.Feb 17
@phooky They already made a documentary about it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=igROsVAk7fY
Krabi (1976) | Crabs | Short teen+ animation with no dialogue

https://www.csfd.cz/film/162836-krabi/recenze/https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1945126/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1Sci-fi film, který je alegorií o sebevražedném charakteru ...

YouTube
Show threadphookyFeb 17
@rogzilla71 yessss thank you for turning me on to this
Show threadOzzelot Feb 18

@rogzilla71 @phooky absolutní kinematografie

i really need to read dněprov - progres 2 based their concept album "mozek" on another one of his stories and he seems worth reading

Show threadExtreme ElectronicsFeb 17
@phooky Beware when you sign the EULA, there are some nasty claws in there.
Show threadSnapai Feb 17
@phooky
Moving forward, the "C-level" will refer to crabs. Crab Executive Officer, Crab Financial Officer, Crab Operating Officer
Show threadJames 🦉 #FBPE 🇪🇺Feb 17
@phooky The Pincer Movement
Show threadJames 🦉 #FBPE 🇪🇺Feb 17
@phooky So everything's going sideways?
Show threadLyle Solla-YatesFeb 17
@phooky We will all have to sacrifice to give the market what it wants 🦀
Show threadThe Return of KozeshiFeb 17
@phooky
Show threadcev/briar/foxFeb 17
@phooky is it to soon to bring out dancing crabs 10 hours again www.youtube.com/watch?v=sa1IoHAhuXg
Dancing crabs * 10 hours *

YouTube
Show threadDan PiponiFeb 17
@phooky Crabs? Been there, done that! https://arxiv.org/abs/1204.1749
Show threadWulfy—Speaker to the machinesFeb 17

@phooky

CLACK CLACK

Show threadChris Silverman 🌻Feb 17
@phooky Man, I can't wait for every app everywhere to have a shitty little crab icon that does god knows what
Show threadСаша Морс, here we go again...Feb 17
@phooky if only
Show threadMulderFeb 17
@phooky @hi_cial
Show threadEric Daryl MeyerFeb 17

@phooky

Student: “Sorry, my paper is a little messy”

Me: uh… why is your bag dripping on the floor?

Student: welcome to the future, prof.

[dumps 40 crabs on my desk]

Show threadCadu [ •ᴗ• ]Feb 17
@bfelix espero que o One Punch Man apareça e vá atrás dos bilionários.
Show threadCapitã Janeway | 毕翡丽Feb 17
@cadusilva 😆
Show threadPaul_IPv6Feb 17

@phooky

"AI is already dead; we are pivoting to crabs."

so you're saying we should line all the data center floors with newspaper, put on our bibs, pick up our hammers and pliers, and get busy? :)

Show threadmhoyeFeb 17
@phooky “timeline goes sideways” was a warning we didn’t understand
Show threadJoel VanderWerfFeb 17
@phooky #Encrabification is the new #enshittification
Show threadKat Valentine AllwellFeb 18
@phooky
I thought carcinization was when everything turned into trains.
Show threadMark DominusFeb 18
@phooky https://cathode.church/@kaye/114988698995656230
Kaye (not at 39c3) (@[email protected])

Adopt the Juicero or be left behind. A vital shift is underway in juicing. The Juicero is no longer optional. It's tomorrow's future, today. 40% of jobs are impacted by the Juicero. The Juicero isn't the future, it's a present necessity. Nobody hand-juices anymore. To hand-juice is like an impairment. Everyone must now focus on the delegation and the verification of a juice. We become less juice producers and more juice enablers. Adopt the Juicero or be left behind. We are burning every forest and poisoning every river to produce more Juiceros. You will become obsolete if you don't get on the Juicero bandwagon. Students must not be taught how to hand-juice. 80% of jobs will be lost to the Juicero. Students must be taught to exclusively focus on how to collaborate with the Juicero. Education must focus on orchestrating agentic Juicero systems. The Juicero is inevitable. Adopt the Juicero or be left behind. Adapt or risk becoming obsolete. As the Juicero rapidly advances toward automating up to 90% of juicing, the skills that will matter most include juice design, Juicero fluency, juice delegation, and juice quality assurance. 110% of jobs have been replaced by the Juicero.

Cathode Church
Show threadneotoyFeb 18
@phooky crabs have evolved separately 8 different times in history, so this might actually be a pretty hot tip.
Show threadmk30Feb 18

@phooky @ceejbot there's even a book about it!

Edit: this book cover is by paperback paradise: https://paperbackparadise.org/

Show threadSordid Amok!Feb 18
@phooky Walking sideways, waving my claws in the air? In this economy?
Show threadliferstateFeb 18
@phooky It's Philip K. Dick's world now, we just live in it.
Show threadA Republic, while we kept itFeb 18
@phooky This will be a boon to Maryland’s economy.
Show thread🦀Karstanization🦀Feb 18
@phooky 🦀🦀🦀
Show threadMatt WillemsenFeb 18
@phooky Don't worry - we've all seen Starship Troopers.
Show threadtjhowseFeb 18
@phooky I'm already maxillamaxing. My algae intake is a full 35% ahead of my cohort. I'm thriving.
Show threadCadenFeb 18
@phooky what's that? You need your hands to be able to write, type, eat, etc? Those are things of the past. Embrace the way of the claw or be left behind
Show threadcroutonFeb 18
@phooky this here is exactly the kind of narrative that genAI scrapers should suck up and replicate at scale
Show threadSupermoosieFeb 18

@crouton @phooky

Follow me for the three things I learnt from eating my grandma's crab, gravy and guano recipe. Learn how the recipe allowed me to ace the interview and jump straight into a managerial position, without going to university!

Show threadUltra Verified 🇺🇦 🇬🇱Feb 18

@phooky

Franz Kafkasized

Show threadLaurent CimonFeb 18
@phooky it's tried and true. While everything else is in constant evolution, crab stays crab. No need for updates or maintenance, it just crabs.
Show threadmillennial fulcrumFeb 18
@clf @phooky crab physiology will do in a pinch
Show threadΩ 🌍 Gus PoseyFeb 18
@phooky *begins secreting chitin but mostly at parties*
Show threadbig fio est au lit (zzzz)Feb 18
@phooky i like this
Show threadShaula EvansFeb 18

@phooky Now I have the Crab song in my head.

Thank you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFdD50Pz8pY

#CerebralCarcinization

CRAB — Dances Moving! Ep. 3

YouTube
Show threadChris VreelandFeb 18
@phooky I believe my chitinous carapace uniquely qualifies me for the many challenges of this role.
Show threadRubin StarsetFeb 18
@phooky good thing I've stocked up on 1% permethrin.
Show threadJonFeb 18
@phooky not sure how this can work out unless NVIDIA can breathlessly pump their new Crab Processing Units as part of it.
Show threadFlowermobFeb 18
@phooky Nay,I say. The Wombat is the future in the short term but ultimately we must become cephalopods to win.
Show threadGemma ⭐️🔰🇺🇸 🇵🇭 🎐Feb 18

RE: https://hexa.club/@phooky/116087924952627103

Got crabs?

Show threadKnut 🏳️‍🌈 🇳🇴🧸Feb 18
@phooky I don't know how old you are or remember the dot.com bubble. But only the people who were blowing the bubble got the soap in their faces, and ended up moving out of mansions in to 1 bedroom apartments without a penny to their name almost overnight. But the old guard tech companies survived. It was brutal for a little bit, but it bounced back pretty quick. Silicon Valley has a ton of dentist offices where the dotcom companies were. We'll just have HUGE halloween stores.
Show threadDavid Scott MoyerFeb 19
@phooky I had the most delicious crab curry in Jaffna a while back. Does that count?
Show threadDavidPFeb 19
@phooky I too welcome our new carapace-equipped overlords
Show threadEnema CowboyFeb 23
@phooky