PetrichordFellow autistics, how do you avoid litigating every social interaction that didn't go as planned in your head over and over and over for hours after the fact? Repeatedly telling myself "you didn't do anything wrong, their reaction was their fault not yours and you were in the right" is not working #autism #actuallyautistic #autistic
Gersande La Flèche@Petrichord Some things that I was taught by a therapist specializing in eating disorders that I've found sort of helpful with this:
- The part of you that wants you to ruminate on something does not respond to facts and logic (if it did you would no longer be bothered by it!)
- So I tell myself “This voice is being unreasonable. I heard it and I love it because it is a part of myself, but it can shut up now, time to focus on something else.”
- Then I do that.
- There will still be occasional stabs of pain, or panic, or fear, and in those moments the only goal is to make it to the next moment where the panic abates. Grounding/breathing techniques may help you here, they don't really for me.
- You cannot outlogic, outreason, or even outlove a part of yourself that is determined not to be. So I try my best to shut it down and do things that I have established are good/safe for me. (In my case, because ED, it was eating a snack that doesn't make me panic or making tea, for ex.)