How I plan to spend the weekend, on the Rottentomatoes page for #Melania. #USpol
It begins. #Melania #USpol
I don’t know who the CEO of RottenTomatoes is, but I hope they’re safely hidden away in a secret bunker somewhere. #Melania #USpol
The only film ever made where every member of the crew, other than Brett Ratner, is credited as “Alan Smithee”. #Melania #USpol
Guardian and Independent #Melania #USpol
The Evening Standard has given it four (4) stars. Reminder that the Standard is a weekly freesheet owned by a Russian oligarch whose father was a KGB agent #Melania #USpol
Variety, Daily Beast. #Melania #USpol
Literally just the Standard. Pricks. #Melania #USpol
That’s the stuff. #Melania #USpol
The Wrap, Decider (down to 7% now) #Melania #USpol
Sure, Jan. #Melania #USpol
And everyone in the theatre stood up and applauded and a pregnant woman immediately gave birth and the baby came out applauding and then all the seats in the theatre came to life so they could applaud too and the tips of my fingers grew little hands of their own so they could applaud too and they themselves grew little hands on the tip of each tiny finger and we applauded and applauded and applauded until someone stopped applauding and they were dragged away and shot #Melania #USpol
The Irish Times #Melania #USpol

You gotta pump those numbers down those are rookie numbers.

Reminder that this would literally be 0% but for Evgeny Lebedev’s Standard. #Melania #USpol

Fuck me, the Standard has actually REVISED ITS REVIEW, knocked a star off the original four-star rating, and is corncobbing wildly. Look at this shit. #Melania #USpol
One of those insightful audience reviews from someone who HASN’T BEEN TO THE CINEMA IN A DECADE. #Melania #USpol
Imagine nothing compelling you to go out to the cinema for 10 years but being dragged from your cinematic coffin by the fucking #Melania documentary, Jesus Christ. This fandom is both unhinged and cringe as anything. #USpol
Please note that this review is being written by a creative: writer, pianist, singer,
perfectionist, lover of classical music and art. #Melania #USpol
Can you provide some more examples of “a classical art” please Monique? #Melania #USpol

A second positive review has hit the #Melania rottentomatoes rating. It’s by the Epoch Times. What the fuck is the Epoch Times, you ask? Well…

Also, lol, “warmth and compassion”, and they chose that photo.

#USpol

In case you think this is a purely political division, it‘s worth noting that even a shallow right wing rag with a readership of ancient bigots like the Daily Express gave #Melania a negative review.

#USpol

The audience really enjoyed the scenes of #Melania filmed with a tiny surgical camera.

#USpol

One (brown) star from Empire. #Melania #USpol

I’m non-biased: I don’t have an opinion on fascism and genocide, and I willingly paid money to watch a dull documentary about a fascist’s moll picking an outfit.

Also “Quincy”: “pretty good” is not a five star rating. #Melania #USpol

#Melania now has a “Verified Hot” status based on audience reviews.

It appears you need 500 verified user ratings to get to that status. To post a verified review, you need to book a ticket through the Fandango app (sounds like a swizz, but bear with).

You don’t have to turn up and watch the movie. The average cost of a cinema ticket in the US is $11.

If you wanted to post 500 five star verified reviews, it would cost you $5,500.

#USpol

@Nickiquote @simonzerafa remember Battlefield Earth?