What the actual fuck. It's not April Fools Day, right? This is real?! Fuck you, SpaceX. Maybe this will help regulators realize how fucking shortsighted companies' plans in orbit are?

Surely the FCC won't rubber-stamp-approve this one??... ONE MILLION STARLINKS FUUUUCCCKKKKKK

https://au.pcmag.com/networking/115649/spacex-eyes-1-million-satellites-for-orbital-data-center-push

SpaceX Eyes 1 Million Satellites For Orbital Data Center Push

Not just thousands. In an FCC filing, the company mentions deploying up to a staggering 'one million satellites' in orbits ranging from 500 kilometers to 2,000km.

PCMag Australia

"Launching a constellation of a million satellites that operate as orbital data centers is a first step toward becoming a Kardashev II-level situation"

THIS IS IN AN FCC FILING NOT A SCIENCE FICTION NOVEL WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK I'M DEAD

I feel like this is a good time for everyone to go read "More Everything Forever" by @adambecker.bsky.social because that completely unrealistic and awful techbro mentality/religion the only way to explain this FCC filing (and that book explains this very clearly!)

Time to go outside and listen to NZ birds as the sun comes up, because fuck SpaceX.

@sundogplanets @adambecker.bsky.social

Added to my To Read list.

Enjoy the sunrise and birdies. Hope you got a bit of sleep 🤞

@sundogplanets I do feel like we're on the path to Neil Stephenson's Seven Eves somehow
@PalmAndNeedle @sundogplanets I think I've read that, ages ago. Time for a reread, maybe! My library has it online.
@deborahh @sundogplanets long at times. And kinda weirdly chunked up. But enjoyable
@PalmAndNeedle @deborahh @sundogplanets I was a big fan but 7 Eves turned me off: dopey biological determinism leading to sexism & racism...
@PalmAndNeedle @deborahh @sundogplanets
A two-volume bilogy, but his publisher said "nah, squeeze it into one, who cares if you rush the ending."
@PalmAndNeedle @sundogplanets luckily the satellites aren't big enough to wipe us out when they fall, but they may make impossible to put anything in orbit once enough of them crash against each other
@PalmAndNeedle And I can't say I'm looking forward to the future damage to our ozone layer ... Again. @sundogplanets @ehproque

@sundogplanets @adambecker.bsky.social I have three non-techbro mentality/religion reasons for this:

1) Distract from Tesla's poor earnings
2) Distract from the Epstein files
3) Bezos says he's going to launch zillions of data center satellites so Musk just wants to nab scamee money for it first

But yeah, also Musk is a moron.

@isaackuo @sundogplanets @[email protected]

Less of a moron if he's just going for the money grab, and could not care less about the planet. Which is the version of Musk that my brain envisions.

@isaackuo @sundogplanets @adambecker.bsky.social yep doing AI in orbit at scale makes 0 engineering and 0 economic sense
@sundogplanets @adambecker.bsky.social brilliant book and well worth the read. Every time I hear someone mentioning one of these tech bros being intelligent I want a copy to throw at their head. Maybe we need to start explaining to politicians that if LEO is a shooting gallery it means no more GPS, do they remember what it was like navigating the world with paper maps, because we are going back there.
@BenjaminKlein @sundogplanets @adambecker.bsky.social The GPS satellites are in Medium Earth Orbit, far above LEO satellites.
@EricFielding @sundogplanets @adambecker.bsky.social yes, but they need to replaced every 10-15 years.
@BenjaminKlein @sundogplanets @adambecker.bsky.social Yes, the MEO GPS satellites, GEO satellites, anything going to the Moon or Mars, etc. have to pass through LEO. Maybe Elon should think about that.

@sundogplanets

Where does the FCC get off in thinking it can make decisions that affect the entire planet and all humankind?

There's a tui in the tree outside loudly proclaiming "Ripe Plums".

@adambecker.bsky.social

@sundogplanets I've got that book from the library right now and it's so good.
@sundogplanets not that it matters, but it also wouldn't budge a thing in the kardashev scale, as it's supposed to measure how much power civilization can harness, and they certainly would pale in comparison to the total amount of earth based computing power, not to mention all the power used in non-computing usage

@Kiloku @sundogplanets

SpaceX's hype has never been constrained by facts.

@Kiloku @sundogplanets The Kardashev scale is meaningless drivel. It's just some dude making shit up in the 1960s to get government funding from the Soviets. Anyone who references the scale like it's meaningful, ESPECIALLY in an official filing, is not a serious person.

All of these tech idiots need to be bullied aggressively until they go away. We need to locate that idiot from Pretoria's childhood bullies and get some historical data to kick things off.

@Legit_Spaghetti @Kiloku @sundogplanets i personally think of it as best used in science fiction. because frankly that's all it is, some hand-waving fantasy. when you're trying to measure something you have literally never seen before and have no idea what it would look like in reality, of fucking course that's what it's going to be.
keep it with the warp drives and the transporters, thank you very much

@sundogplanets I would ask if you were fucking serious and why the FCC hasn't thrown it out, but calling the people left there "clownshoes" is an unforgivable insult to the footwear of professional entertainers.

Also, worth noting, that isn't even fucking *ZERO* on the Kardashev because that's not even a goddamn relevant scale. Please somebody start fucking executing these techbro oligarchs to save the rest of us.

@rootwyrm @sundogplanets you mispelled ‘putting in a gillotine’
@sundogplanets it's incredibly embarrassing and pathetic that a lot of the techie sorts with access to power now are people who…like I say, there's no such thing as reading too much science fiction, but there IS such a thing as reading too LITTLE stuff that ISN'T science fiction.
@sundogplanets
The Kardashev "levels" are pure fantasy, not even good SF.
@sundogplanets the performance of total seriousness, no matter how absurd the goal, is critical to tech oligarchs' "fake it til you rule the world" strategy. it rarely survives contact with reality but the damage it does is of course very real.

@sundogplanets Sounds like they used AI to generate this. The Kardashev scale is a classification of _civilization_, not "situation". I see this sort of auto-correct in lots of AI slop.

Recent news articles kept referring to Tom Human as the Border Guard.

If this wasn't so serious, I'd laugh.

@sundogplanets For my own sanity i haven't read the news yet, so no clue what you are making fun of here... Did Elon typo Kessler Syndrome again. 😂😅

@sundogplanets

So, when they all collide and fuck up all access to earth orbit for decades, where on the Kardashev scale will we be?

Asking for a planet.

@sundogplanets Ugh! Musk and the other tech bros are the next “great filter” we need to survive as a species.
@sundogplanets ... what the fuck does that even mean? I know I could search for it, but I'm not sure I want that in my search history.

@zgryphon @sundogplanets

The radio astronomer Nikolai Kardashev developed a scale describing hypothetical aliens by the amount of energy they used as a guide for what SETI searches could and could not find.

A "Kardashev II" level would involve using the entire energy output of the Sun by dismantling planets and turning them into solar panels.

Which has no resemblance to this particular bit of vaporware.

@michael_w_busch @sundogplanets Trust techbros not only to envision littering on a cosmic scale, but also to equate it with a theoretical hallmark of a hyperadvanced civilization.
@sundogplanets did someone just finish reading @cstross 's _accelerando_ and decide it wasn't featuring future earth as a dystopia?
@sundogplanets Imagine being familiar with the Kardashev scale but unfamiliar with Kessler syndrome
@sundogplanets
Seems they're (intentionally?) confusing Kardashiev and Kessler
@sundogplanets WHAT on earth are they going on about, they are like 12 year old boys
@sundogplanets We aren’t even a Level 1 civilization. Also, this shows their complete lack of understanding of what that scale actually means.
@sundogplanets >when the ketamine high hits
“Grok, prepare an FCC filing…”
@sundogplanets What’s a Kardeshian II-level situation?
Kardashev scale - Wikipedia

@maikek @sundogplanets The Kardeshians have their long-nailed fingers everywhere!

@christianschwaegerl @maikek @sundogplanets

And Leon Musk appears to be worming his way back into President Donald Tantrump's good books...

Which means there is no way #ICE will be tasked to send the Kardashians back to their home planet of Kardashia....

Kris (@[email protected])

Nikolai Kardashev was a Soviet radio astronomer and astrophysicist who wanted to know how one could even detect extraterrestrial civilizations at all, the “SETI problem”. He concluded: by energy consumption. The Kardashev scale is therefore not an ISO standard (ISO = Interstellar Standards Organization?), but a thinking tool devised by one person. The scale says: - Type 1: Uses all the energy available to its planet. For example, an albedo-zero world completely covered in solar cells. - Type 2: Uses all the energy available to its star system. Not a million satellites in orbit, but a [Dyson sphere](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Relics_(Star_Trek:_The_Next_Generation)) that captures all the light and radiation of a star. - Type 3: Uses the energy of all stars in a galaxy. The idea of launching data centers into space, more precisely into LEO, must therefore be evaluated on a different scale: # The Kardashian scale - A Type 1 civilization on the Kardashian scale has a public discourse that is no longer driven by facts, but by emotion and attention. - A Type 2 civilization no longer has this discourse under control, and counterfactual emotional discourse begins to control politics, research, and the economy, where unscientific and outright stupid narratives now take over steering. - A Type 3 civilization has complete epistemic decoupling: visibility has fully replaced truth, reach beats evidence, and consistency is irrelevant as long as the narrative is exciting. Physical limits are dismissed as “bad vibes”, and criticism is read as a moral flaw and subversion. So we are not measuring energy, but loss of contact with reality. Many tech visions of recent years (everything from and including Bitcoin onward) map directly onto this scale. We are now already a Kardashian Type 2 civilization.

Infosec Exchange

@sundogplanets Is there enough rocket fuel on earth for a million rocket launches?

What about the logistics?

Say you manage to find 100 suitable rocket launch sites and have a successful launch a week from each site.

Assuming a 100% successful launch rate and that all of the satellites end up in the right orbit first time that's still 10,000 weeks before all of the satellites are in place.

So 192 years?

Are my calculations correct?

@the_wub @sundogplanets spacex already deploys 20-60 satellites per launch - and this is the same delusional management who think they can turn around launches in a day or less, so the bottleneck would (in their eyes) be building the satellites themselves

@irina @sundogplanets Hmmm. So, thinking selfishly it could theoretically happen within my lifetime.

In the back of my mind is this kind of thing, as drawn to my attention some time ago by the esteemed professor themselves:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sun_gun

Sun gun - Wikipedia

@irina @the_wub @sundogplanets
But we already know - what goes up *will* come down (and in an unknown and uncontrolled manner too).

@the_wub @sundogplanets even current falcon launches multiple satellites per start. Starship has even higher launch capacity, once it's reliable.

The problem with this is more practical, though: you can't cool a Datacenter in space. This is a marketing stunt, not an actual plan.

@claudius @sundogplanets Yes I know, as I have mentioned a classic attempt at "pump and dump" by Musk.

I was mainly curious to consider the logistics that back up my assertion that it is all about "pump and dump".

Even with multiple satellite launches per rocket launch the logistics are still complicated to say the least.

Not to mention the quantity of raw materials and energy required to manufacture the satellites and rockets.

@the_wub @sundogplanets with 60 starlinks per Falcon 9 launch (22.8t to LEO) regularly happening, and Starship being planned for 100-200t to LEO it does change substantially. If we assume those millions of satellites are on the small side (and they would have to be), then that's 200-500 satellites per launch - or 2000 to 5000 launches.

Falcon 9 launched 165 times in 2025. So we're down to decades, not centuries.

Just to say it: I absolutely hate the idea (and it's objectively stupid).

@sundogplanets ha. More like the first (second? third?) step to Kessler syndrome.