Mastodawn

You ever hear or read a single word and immediately associate it with lyrics, a quote, or similar?

Heard the word "bile". Immediately, our mind linked it to lyrics from a song by Catatonia called My Selfish Gene from the late 90s.

It's a short, soft, beautiful, raw, aching song. Highly recommend listening to it if you've got the time, spoons, capacity, and ability. The lyrics are as follows:

You, me and destiny
Guess that it was never meant to be
All you did was give me allergy
I'm not looking for your sympathy

You, me and destiny
I am courted by uncertainty
I've lost my will to live unselfishly
Altruism stinks of fallacy

My selfish gene it fills my spleen with bile
And all the while I thought you gave a damn

You, me and destiny
Guess that it was never meant to be
All you needed was some courtesy
And I'm not waiting for apologies

My selfish gene it fills my spleen with bile
And all the while I thought you gave a damn
Way back then I thought you'd give a damn

Brains and minds are weird, especially the neurospicy kind.

#Catatonia #MySelfishGene #neurodivergent #neurospicy #AuDHD #lyrics

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Matthias V Jan 8

@SleepyCatten
I have episodes of... hyper-associativaty?

On those days, certain lyrics (could be just one or two words) spoken in the right cadence triggers the complete song or feeling it transports. On extreme days, I mostly have song fragments in my mind, which must be followed or at least endured. To the outside, I am silent or simply humming a song, internally, it is a day long festival without predetermined playlist.

Could also be books, movies or so.

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SleepyCatten (Joint Pain Arc)Jan 8

@kronn nods understandingly

We hadn't come across that term (hyperassociativity) before, so thank you for making us aware of a new word 🥰

We have that pretty much all the time, unless we're dosed up with certain meds to the nines 😅

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Matthias V Jan 8

@SleepyCatten I made that word up to clarify my "perceived level of crazy" to others, so I'm glad it helps (and thanks for correcting the spelling, I've never written it before). I think it is a common trait coming from the AD(H)D-side of things. So common that it is normal to NDs and therefore not in the literature written by NTs.

If it works well, it makes you super-creative to the outside.

Downside is, that the dial is broken. Since I opted against meds (for me), I simply do not have it.

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SleepyCatten (Joint Pain Arc)Jan 8

@kronn nods understandingly

Oh, we weren't seeking to correct the spelling 😅 Hyphens are kind of a preference with a lot of words. We just removed it, where we've been increasingly dropping them recently for words like nonsteroidal or antiandrogen, and found multiple references in a search engine.

Nonetheless, it's kind of cool that you independently used the same term as others to describe it 🥰 It's fun when that happens. It's like: "OH! This is an actual thing?!"

And yeah: "neurotypical" folks studying it from the outside are far less insightful than the lived experiences of neurodivergent folks describing their experiences.

(Side note: we think neuroconvergent sounds like a better counterpoint to neurodivergent.)

As for meds, we didn't find that stimulant meds worked much by themselves. However, by combining a split dose of lisdex with another med to help with intense RSD (guanfacine / Intuniv), it's been a lot more helpful.

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Mux2000 (exfoliating)Jan 8

@SleepyCatten
Yes, I get it all the time.

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SleepyCatten (Joint Pain Arc)Jan 8

@Mux That makes sense, as you are musically talented 🥰🩷

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Lou 🏳️‍⚧️Jan 8

@SleepyCatten
All. The. Freaking. Time!

The first that comes to mind is "sweet dreams" which, of course, makes me think of "Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This)".

Also "trois nuits", which I hear regularly at work, triggers "Trois Nuits Par Semaine"…

And sometimes, I hear several differents triggers in the same sentence… sort of a mental version of MSN Messenger when you had too many emoticons triggered by common letters groupings 😅