Cat 🐈🥗 (D.Burch) ⁠
Explain to me, like I'm 5, what Cloudflare is and why everyone is pointing and laughing. 🖍️
Nov 18 at 7:54pmWeb
Show threadDeus Ex MacGuffin Nov 18

@catsalad

<points at green crayon> Can I eat that?

Show threadCat 🐈🥗 (D.Burch) ⁠Nov 18
@DXMacGuffin Bonus points for accurate description! Enjoy your crayon :3
Show threadcatraxx Nov 18
@catsalad it's because clouds are silly looking
Show threadStarkRGNov 18
@catsalad It's a thing that's supposed to make it easier for websites to stay accessible all the time. And it broke, so now everything that was using it to stay accessible all the time isn't accessible right now.
Show threadsortius Nov 18
@catsalad Cloudflare is like mummy, and mummy had a bit too much afternoon juice
Show threadCat 🐈🥗 (D.Burch) ⁠Nov 18
@sortius 💀💀
Show threadwinterNov 18
@catsalad thing that your computer sends request to that makes sure you aren't like trying to DDOS the webpage and then let's you into webpage and its down right now so the majority of infrastructure is just not there now
Show threadbaskinNov 18
@catsalad Cloudflare is something that uses an automatically generated threat list configuration FILE , that grew a lot and brought 20% of the internet down. Someone has to speak to them about the invention of databases.
Show threadquangobaudNov 18
@baskin @catsalad
I am on THAT list? 😃 lol
Show threadbaskinNov 18
@miguelpergamon I have a feeling that their threat protection technology is based on /etc/hosts.deny @catsalad
Show threadquangobaudNov 18

@baskin @catsalad

I've been having Cloudfare challenges since about May this year. It got ridiculous, so I just stopped using those services.
There's another one which demands I log-in to verify my id, so I don't use those services either.

Then, the services contact me by email.
So, I ignore their emails. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Show threaddmi 💽 Nov 18
@catsalad so imagine a cyclist, that’s cloudflare. it fell off the bike, much to everyone’s amusement
Show threadtapeloopNov 18
@catsalad sadly there’s no direct correlation with K Pop Demon Hunters, that’s the best way to explain anything to 5 year olds
Show threaddavidhanzlikNov 18
@catsalad its like a cloud that rains data on us every day. Now that its sunny we can go play outside. When its raining we'll go play inside again
Show threadCassandrichNov 18
@catsalad It's a single web host that some ridiculous portion of the internet uses because "everybody else is doing it". They use fancy names for it, but that's all it is.
Show threadtatiana Nov 18
@catsalad it's like you gave your lunch to your teacher to keep it safe from the class bully, and your teacher ate it
Show threadKlimastigNov 18
@tati Possibly a good analogy. But could you explain it with plain words?
Show threadkwayk42Nov 18

@catsalad when you do something bad, so you hide behind a curtain, but your parents can still see your feet from under the curtain

And now the curtain is on fire and going to burn the house down

Show threadAdrianoNov 18
@kwayk42 @catsalad Ok but why is everybody laughing? Do they not love me like they said they did?
Show threadkwayk42Nov 18
@adriano @catsalad they're laughing because the parents were using a candle to look for you, because they spent their paycheck on AI
Show threadAdrianoNov 18
@kwayk42 @catsalad Hey Siri, how do I extinguish my plastic curtains?
Show threadgarfieldairlines.netNov 18
@catsalad
All fedi users are saying don't go there
Despite all warnings big websites went there anyway
It fails
Fedi enjoys schadenfreude
Show threadGeorgiana BrummellNov 18
@catsalad I sometimes see captchas that mention it. I also know that many sites are connected to it. I guess it's a hosting platform of some kind.
Show threadHey GusNov 18
@catsalad it’s like the police where they don’t let the bad guys get to your website as often
Show threadTom WalkerNov 18
@catsalad It's like in Minecraft when you accidentally blow up your own house
Show threadPalmAndNeedleNov 18
@catsalad you are not going to space today
Show threadPaul HornNov 18

@catsalad It’s like Santa and the Nice vs Naughty list. You have to stay on the nice list to get free stuff, right?

But some newbie elf gave Santa a naughty list with EVERYBODY on it, so no presents for you.

Show threadDouglas SpencerNov 18

@catsalad

Cloudflare is the bouncer who stands in front of your shop and stops the bad people coming in.

Cloudflare going down is the bouncer who has collapsed in the doorway. Everything in your shop is perfectly okay, but now absolutely no-one can get in or out.

Show threadAnyia, geeky 🏳️‍⚧️ girlNov 18
@catsalad it's your snooty uncle who always insists he's infallible, and he's just stepped on a rake
Show threadTim HergertNov 19

@catsalad

https://infosec.exchange/@cjust/115572217088433797